Our Relationship - Day Eighteen

@Courtlynn (67002)
United States
December 15, 2021 6:50am CST
What frightens you most about relationships? Honestly not sure.. Probably either being physically cheated on or being left. But I guess that's fair things to be frightened about when in a relationship. Nevermind that I was abandoned by the sperm donor when I was little, and also kinda my ex when he decided to abuse both myself and my child. As he knew I wouldn't stay after that.
8 people like this
9 responses
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
15 Dec 21
Those are important issues. As for your biological contributor and ex - horrible things to do. But have nothing to do with you, personally (even though it happened to you which isn't right) - and everything to do with what sort of people they are. Me? I guess just that I will never be in a romantic one apparently. This is guy #8 now. Flirt with me. Ask me out. (This one called us "soulmates") - and then, when I agree to go out, act grossed out at tell me that I "misread" them. This is #8 that has done this. I give up. Dont like me? Don't ask me out. That's pretty easy.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
Thank you. I always blamed myself for both, even my "dad" leaving. Even though I've since realized kids cant make parents leave - or stay. It is easy to just not ask someone out and waste both parties time and energy. Sorry thats happen so many times. It's not you, I promise. You're beautiful and a terrific person.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
17 Dec 21
@FayeHazel very welcome
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
17 Dec 21
@Courtlynn I know, sometimes we can realize things but it's so easy to blame yourself. I don't know why that seems to be human nature. But yes, - it was nothing to do with the kind and beautiful person you are. Neither situation. I know, it's so weird. I don't get it. Is it a cheap self confidence boost? That's the only thing I can think of.... Thank you friend
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@snowy22315 (168441)
• United States
15 Dec 21
I would say investing alot into a relationship and having it not work out, maybe no one is really at fault, just not meant to be.
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@snowy22315 (168441)
• United States
16 Dec 21
@Courtlynn It happens all the time, people change.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
That would be a huge bummer.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
17 Dec 21
@snowy22315 meh. Sometimes
@tammys85 (29868)
• Baltimore, Maryland
15 Dec 21
It's definitely a valid fear about relationships, and I'm sorry you've dealt with the abandonment and abuse. Love you.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
Thank you. Not your fault though, of course
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 21
Relationships can be difficult but it sounds like you're in a healthy relationship now
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
Wouldn't go that far. But certainly not like my other one.
1 person likes this
@just4him (303377)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Dec 21
Accidents. I don't want to see anyone hurt and some can get bad. I'm thankful neither of us had bad accidents. Though, my son did and was in the hospital for five weeks. You don't want to think about your kids or spouse being hurt. It's unthinkable, but it happens.
2 people like this
@just4him (303377)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Dec 21
@Courtlynn I understand.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
I fear my fiance getting into a car accident every time hes in the car (same with me and my mom) part of why i cant and wont drive.
2 people like this
15 Dec 21
Sorry to read about your plight. Hope you have emerged stronger and better. I guess when there's no trust, it can be daunting.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
Trust is huge to have.
2 people like this
16 Dec 21
@Courtlynn Agree.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71572)
• United States
4 Mar 22
I didn’t realize your ex abused you too . I have dreams all the time since the baby was born that my husband cheats on me. I think it comes from knowing he did it once before and if it happens again I’ll be a single mother again.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71572)
• United States
6 Mar 22
@Courtlynn I’m so sorry he did that to you. He was obviously crazy! A guy I was dating at that age was the same way. I was terrified years later when I found out he had a child.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
6 Mar 22
@shaggin yeah.. anger problems, plus was raised by his aunt instead of his parents for alot of his then 18years.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
6 Mar 22
Oh yeah. Threw me on a REALLY thin mattress that was on a hard wooden floor, hit my face. Was emotionally abusive as well. That's sad, that he did it to begin with and that you have to worry about it happening again. But its not uncommon to think and worry about.
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@jstory07 (133795)
• Roseburg, Oregon
16 Dec 21
I feel really bad for you about the loss of your daughter. Abuse in any way is never ok and a hard thing to deal with.
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@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
17 Dec 21
It is. Thank you.
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@yoalldudes (35042)
• Philippines
15 Dec 21
I'm sorry you had to experience all this. For me, I am scared of being betrayed because I wont forgive myself to have let it happen.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
16 Dec 21
I don't either.. hard on myself
1 person likes this