I’m Dreaming of a One-Inch-By-7AM-or-It’s-NOT-a White Christmas
By Four Walls
@FourWalls (62133)
United States
December 18, 2021 11:46am CST
Yesterday I was watching the local meteorologist’s weather vlog. He’s a sn*w freak, and tags everything starting in, oh mid-August or so, with a “BOTS,” or “Bring On The Snow.” Weirdo.
Anyway, he said something that shocked me. He said that it might sn*w here Christmas night, but flurries at best, and definitely NOT the “one inch by 7 AM” that is “required” to qualify as a “white Christmas.”
Y’know, I thought I knew that song pretty darn well. I love Irving Berlin’s songs. And “White Christmas” is the biggest-selling song in history. But I don’t ever remember a line in that song that went:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
Which means we have an inch of snow
It must be from heaven by the time of seven
Or else its whiteness is a ‘no’
It’s downright peculiar to begin with that we have this dream of sn*w on the ground, four days into winter (or 25 days into meteorological winter), because a song that’s nearly 80 years of age said so. But then the National Weather Service — a government agency (which really should explain everything) — has to get involved and define a “white Christmas” like they’re Talmudic scholars defining work prohibited on the Sabbath.
Government interference aside, I hope you have a white Christmas if you want one. Personally, I love watching sn*w fall….on a live You Tube stream somewhere else!
Bing Crosby said that “a jackdaw with a cleft palate could’ve sung it successfully,” but it’s always associated with him:
"White Christmas" is an Irving Berlin song reminiscing about an old-fashioned Christmas setting. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the version...
15 people like this
14 responses
@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
18 Dec 21
I do miss seeing a white Christmas, but it's still nice living in California. At least we might be able to drive to see some snow.
I thought of you while I was at work the other day, as this song cycled onto my Spotify-curated seasonal playlist:
Official video for Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacCollStream The Pogues greatest hits here ? https://RhinoUK.lnk.to/ThePoguesSubscri...
5 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (95165)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Dec 21
I prefer to watch it somewhere else also. I know they figure at least an inch here also to count it
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (73407)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
19 Dec 21
That is definitely what I am missing a white Christmas, Still wish I could find someone with a snowmaking machine, I would freak everyone out by filling the yard with fake snow,
2 people like this
@Chellezhere (5363)
• United States
18 Dec 21
As a snow connoisseur, I can confirm there is a one-inch by 7:00 am White Christmas requirement.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45487)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Dec 21
We got some sn*w yesterday. There's about a centimetre (half-inch) on various surfaces but bare spots, too. That's white enough for me.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86755)
• United States
19 Dec 21
Hope you get your bit of snow Four Walls.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40872)
• Wapello, Iowa
19 Dec 21
Do you want a part-time job? I'm in preproduction on my next movie, Road To The South Pole...It was going to be Road To The North Pole but Family Guy already used that title for an episode and you can't copyright a title but we decided that a minor plotline about Santa getting evicted from his workshop and having to relocate along with a brand new title would be funnier anyway...And of course, Bob and Bing said no, because they have slowed down so much lately but the people who own their images said we could make Bob and Bing holograms and make them do anything we want, so we don't need the actual people anyway.
I said all that to say this, we need a songwriter. And not to make new songs but just for new lyrics for existing songs and we really like that sample verse. It's a great start. Do you know Thanks For The Memories by any chance?
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (62133)
• United States
19 Dec 21
I see it!!!! As they head through Pigeon Forge on their way to the South Pole they run into Dolly Parton and Bob starts singing “Thanks for the Mammaries.”
You’re going to have a movie bigger than all three Star Wars movies (I’m old, so there are only three) put together!!!
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (62133)
• United States
19 Dec 21
@xander6464 — don’t you think R2D2 was just a lame attempt at Mickey Rooney?
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40872)
• Wapello, Iowa
19 Dec 21
@FourWalls Thanks For The Mammaries has been done before but I have no objection to doing it again.
I hope so. Star Wars is a nice series...It's no Andy Hardy, though...but it doesn't make enough money.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156159)
• United States
19 Dec 21
I love your parody. We will be getting a cold rain on Christmas. Fine with me. I hate s**w.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54413)
• United States
19 Dec 21
My dad used to sing about a white kitty (sun to the tune of white Christmas) it makes it hard to hear that song.
1 person likes this
@Kouponkaren (5487)
• United States
23 Dec 21
I love a white Christmas. Last year it snowed lightly here on the day of Christmas Eve and I was in snow heaven! I love snow... any time of year, but most especially at Christmas.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (62133)
• United States
23 Dec 21
Oh, I love watching snow….fall somewhere else. Right now I’m watching it snow in Maine on a live webcam. 
