I SPOKE TOO SOON!

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I spoke too soon when I said "Finally----a step---a small step--in a positive direction" yesterday. After cooking up a batch of chicken, making a steak for dinner, eating it and topping it off with a banana nut muffin I was able to relax, watch TV and do some reading. I went to sleep a little after midnight and that was it. It is now 4:30 PM and I have been more asleep than awake in the past 16 hours. I was able to get up and give myself the half hour IV but the Sunday paper is still waiting to be read and as much as I think about taking a shower (and I need one!) that' s all I do--is think about it. At least I washed my face and brushed my teeth but each is such an effort I lay down in bed and before I know it an hour or two is gone. All the pictures above were taken over the past 21 days and you would never know I was sick but don't judge a book by its cover! It really takes an effort just to hold my head up and type this. All I know is what I knew when I was discharged from the hospital on December 28 only to spend the worst days of my life the next 5-6 days going to the ER every day and spending 8-10 hours just to get the 30 minutes of IV because my cardiologist failed to program the nurse to visit me until I could give myself the IV! And I won't get into how my primary doctor's nurse---Michelle---bless her--saved the day by getting the IV drug to me in time this past Friday because once again the cardiologist messed up! All I know is what I knew when I was discharged on the 28th---I have a bad blood infection that may/could get into my aorta valve (which I don't even know the cardiologist had to 'invade') and cause all sorts of problems and that I am completely exhausted! I do go see an infectious disease specialist this Wednesday when I hope to find out something--anything--about where I stand! And being an optimist maybe I will be hungry again! Will let you know! Hate to admit it but looks like I (will) need a caretaker, roommate, partner, someone to share an apartment if this keeps up no matter how much I prefer living alone. Thanks to all of you who expressed concerns--really appreciate it!