I'm worried about myself
By Wendy
@jerzgirl (9234)
United States
May 22, 2022 3:12pm CST
Back in the 90s, I was treated for major depression and dysthymia, the latter being a long term but mild depression. I moved from Utah to Arizona when things went from bad to worse. My aunt lived in Southern Arizona. When my father hid the fact that my mother went into respiratory arrest and was in ICU, He and his sister thought telling me would push me over the edge. No. NOT telling me and lying to me pissed me off and compelled me to move back home. I became energized and focused. I felt great. I did well until after Mom died in 2008 (Dad passed five years earlier.) I began to lose even the temp jobs I was getting to keep my daughter and I housed and fed. Eventually, I gave up and went on disability. I just couldn't keep a job. I felt deflated. More recently, I've been feeling the depression stronger than I have in a very long time. I've never been suicidal, but I've been isolating myself from activities more and more. I now have a physical problem that's interfering with even the little I do want to do. My knees are shot. They are bone on bone. I need new ones. And my right arm and shoulder are joining in. I can't raise that arm above my head. It hurts to reach for and hold things of any weight over 5 pounds. It's getting me down in a big way. I've been working the elections for years, but I'm going to opt out of our primary next month. It's too difficult to move around, having to get up and down to help voters. I have a telemed appointment tomorrow. I have so much to talk about. He'll probably want to see me in person after our call.
5 people like this
6 responses
@kaylachan (58496)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
22 May 22
Dealing with depression isn't easy, but just take it one day at a time.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (58496)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
24 May 22
@jerzgirl It's okay to take a step back, too. Sometimes that's what's needed to move forward.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (58496)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
24 May 22
@jerzgirl That's fair. I know this all to well.
@Morleyhunt (21746)
• Canada
23 May 22
Depression is debilitating of and by itself. Physical pain can also be te result I’d depression (ask me how I know)
I really hope you can get some relief.
Meanwhile, even a baby step is a step.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9234)
• United States
23 May 22
I know. I haven't given up although I do occasionally give in to a little self pity. On top of all this, I got covid three or four weeks ago. That made EVERY pain more intense while adding new ones. This week has been the first in a long time that I've felt able even as I debate getting a scooter so I can do more than stay in the car. No money for one, but sometimes people are getting rid of them. I might get lucky.