HORSE HOCKEY! (Pardon My French)

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Ah, Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H. Those witticisms he came up with, also known as “Potterisms.” “Buffalo bagels!” “Horse hockey!” “Mule muffins!” (There’s a You Tube video at the end with a few of them.) I couldn’t help but utter a few of those “Potterisms” when I read the statement from the parents of the Highland Park, Illinois shooter. “We are all mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, and this is a terrible tragedy for many families,” the statement began. HORSE HOCKEY! (“Pardon my French,” as Potter said.) “Our hearts, thoughts, and prayers go out to everybody.” BUFFALO BAGELS! And oh, by the way, they also wanted everyone to know they’ve hired Steve Greenberg….from the law office that just got R. Kelly convicted. (Ooh, not a smart move…wouldn’t you prefer an attorney who’s fresh off a victory or two?) I know you cannot read inflection or tone in a printed statement, but that reeks of “cover-my-own-butt, so-sorry-about-yours-son.” WHY would the parents need an attorney? Well, it seems Illinois has a law where you need what they call a FOID: a Firearms Owner ID card. His dad “sponsored” him as a “responsible party” for the receipt of the FOID. Hey, you know something? I don’t think that’s such a bad idea. I have to prove to the state that I can responsibly operate a car, which can kill just as many (see: last November’s attack on the Christmas parade in Waukesha, Wisconsin). Why shouldn’t you prove that you’re responsible enough to handle a weapon? Yes, I know — and I frequently point out — that anyone who’s going to break the commandment against murder and all subsequent “secular” laws stemming from that commandment won’t give horse fritters about breaking other laws (such as prohibitions against having guns on school property). But — and I say this as a gun-owning conservative — dang it, we have GOT to start SOMEWHERE in getting this madness under control. Oh, and a PS about all of this: on ABC7 Chicago’s home page, on the sidebar amid all the talk about the Highland Park shooting, was this headline: “Violent weekend: 71 shot, 8 killed in Chicago shootings.” What in the name of Marco blessed Polo is going on? Potterisms: