Well that was a difficult afternoon

Tweet

I am back here at the apartment after having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. It was my parents, my sister, my BIL, my niece and nephew, and 2 of my parents' friends who we've adopted into the family. I got there at noon which was the time my mother told everyone. Their friends showed up at 12:30 and my sister and her family didn't roll in until after 1 pm. My mother was busy with cooking. My sister and my mom's friend spent their time planning their shopping adventure tomorrow. My father, BIL, and the friend watched football. That left me pretty much sitting by myself out on the porch. I managed to make it through dinner but then I could feel the tears coming. I didn't want to make a scene so I went into another room to compose myself. That didn't last for more than another 10 minutes or so. My sister started talking about her friend getting divorced and then I had to bounce. I don't know when this is going to get any easier. I have been divorced for over 3 years now and I still feel so sad at family gatherings being by myself. It is like there is this big hole where my ex is supposed to be. I cried all the way back here. I'm sure they all think I'm nuts and maybe I am.