Do you think it's ok to SPANK kids? Why or Why Not?

United States
December 1, 2006 12:36pm CST
I try to do everything possible like time out, taking away video games, not going to friends ect.. first. When I was growong up though we didn't have time out you got your butt spanked and that was that! No one said a word to anyone and most was hoping if a kid acted out they would be spanked. Today you cant do that, you get the DCFS called on you for "disciplining" your kids. Even heard of some kids telling their teachers they got spanked in school and they got in big trouble. I think discipline should be left up to the parent to decide. I also think there is a difference between a spanking and beating a child... What do you think?
30 people like this
210 responses
@TJtwix (49)
2 Dec 06
i was born in 1970 i was brought up with the odd smack across the legs hand or bum although i didnt get smacked often also if you was naughty/rude to neighbour you got a clip i have grown up to have a normal loving relationship have been married 18 years and with my husband for 2 years previous to that. we have had 2 children. it did me no harm i am well adjusted. also where is the local bobby that dragged you home by the scruff or was bunking with the fear of being sued. we need to turn back time! having said that i was never beaten as a child/teenager
6 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Right! I never ever spank my child when I am angry.
4 people like this
@gifana (4834)
• Portugal
2 Dec 06
I agree that we should go back to the good old days....but with children being able to sue their parents now it is more difficult.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I agree as welll.. got topic choice.
@mslena75 (562)
• United States
1 Dec 06
There is a definitely a difference between beating and spanking. I was not beaten, but my parents did spank me a lot. Time outs are a load of crap if you ask me. Look at how a lot of little kids act anymore, I see so many that are totally disrespectful to their parents. Some of the stuff I've heard, if I would have said that as a kid I would have gotten laid out on the floor...and wouldn't have expected any less. I plan to spank my child when it comes to disciplining her. I was spanked and am not damaged by it. I knew my parents meant business and I turned out to be a decent human being. I think part of the problem is that not enough people spank their kids anymore. But taking away valued possessions can work as well, when the child is old enough.
5 people like this
@smf210 (102)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I completely agree! I had the same experience and I respect my parents for it. I am a lot more disciplined than many of the kids that run around today yelling "you're not the boss of me!"
2 people like this
• India
2 Dec 06
To day the biggest and most challenging task is to bring back the kids on right track. I think today generation is more advance then our time the need more freedom, they don’t accept rules and advice to them. Kids influence by their company or friends circle is much strong than parents, but due to simply these reasons we can’t leave them on their way .We have to handle kids in such a way so that less harsh methods could be use like spanking or beating. Spanking is not harmful but at some extent, beyond this will make a kid aggressive and some time pack with hate in their mind towards parents and teachers.
2 people like this
• India
2 Dec 06
agree.100% agree
2 people like this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I think it's fine to spank kids. I was spanked growing up when I misbehaved. I don't know when it suddenly became so terrible to spank a child. There is a big difference between spanking and beating a child. My teachers were told by my parents if they had to spank me to call them and I would get another spanking when I got home. Needless to say I behaved myself.
5 people like this
@medooley (1874)
• United States
2 Dec 06
My parents basically told my teachers the same... and I knew it, so I never got in trouble at school since i didn't want to get a spanking when I got home. I do beleive in spanking. It can be a good deterant for some kids. But just as all kids are different spankings might not work for all of them. My youngest I think is one of them. It does not appear to phase here when she gets spankings. I will have to find something else I guess.
5 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I personally believe in spanking kids in a tactful manner. That is what is wrong with many of society today. Parents are always trying this time out mess. It doesn't work. I have a living example nephew. His mother only gave him time out when he was younger. Now he is like 13 and he is always getting in trouble at school, bus and home. I have 3 kids of my own and I spank them when appropriate and they so far have not given me any trouble now that they are older.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I realize that all children are not the same and you have to find different ways to discipline each. But I do know that when you spank most it hurts their feelings a little whether it actually hurts their bottoms. Then you have some that recognize your little tap hurts you and they are stubborn enough to challenge you.(That didn't hurt! attitude) Get that diaperless bottom with a quick paddle swat and that might change their tune!! And no, I am not suggesting that you beat a child at any time. But make it STING! They will laugh at you if you don't.
3 people like this
@honeybfly83 (1021)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I thinks parents Should have a right to spank their kids. There is a difference in spanking and abuse.
5 people like this
• India
2 Dec 06
I am agree with this suggestion.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Looks like that was copied and pasted... I dont like reading books on how to raise my child... JMO
@moneyseeker (1024)
1 Dec 06
I'm afraid I am completely against smacking. I can't understand how anyone would want to hit their kids. It would be like hurting yourself. And yes, I have brought up chidren!
• United States
2 Dec 06
Some believe this way and it's ok... you still must have used a type of discipline thought if you brought up respectable children.
@merlin22 (1111)
• United States
2 Dec 06
i feel the same way there is a diff between spanking on the butt and beating a child,thats why so many kids are in trouble now days,time out just gives them time to think of their next move.lol
4 people like this
@evan02 (85)
• France
2 Dec 06
100% agree too
3 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I agree great topic for expression. Thanks and I agree. Good to know other still do whats best for their children.
• United States
2 Dec 06
I am in favor of a spanking time to time, but not a beating. It is very different. But, spanking can cause hostility too. A contructive punishment may go a long way instead.
4 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I agree.. for a small child I just keep removing them from the situation. If it comes to a point where something could hurt them, I think you need to step in right away. Of course..
@mbs730 (2151)
• Canada
2 Dec 06
As far as a gentle spank goes, I am not sure if there is really anything wrong with it, as long as it's GENTLE, but enough to get the point accross. I will say this much, I was spanked here and there when I was a child and it never affected me in the long run. I DON'T spank my kids but sometimes if I feel they get out of hand, a little tap on the hand does the trick and sends them a message. I also do the time out thing too, which I think is even more effective. Parenting is hard and its hard to find the best way to handle the kids.
• United States
2 Dec 06
I had a niece that did that. Gentle spanking don't do the job. You make it sting (not mark) and never when you are angry. Children are smarter than you think they are. If they know you mean business, maybe a spanking And a time out, they get it. I grew up with spankings and I knew what would get me one.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I think it is sometimes necessary to spank your kid's. Spank not beat. And there is a difference. I don't like the fact that you can't spank your children without worrying that someone will call CPS on you. I remember back in the day's you could spank, hit with whatever you found and no one said anything, now you raise your voice and you'll be haul off to jail. I think that is one reason why the kids of today, are acting up, because they know we can't do anything.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 06
thanks for youropinion and response.
@crosschk (821)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I have to say that Kids need a good smack on the a$$ once in a while. If they don't have a negative reaction to something they do, they will not be afraid to do it again. I'm not advocating abuse, but once in a while will not hurt them in the long run
3 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 06
Thanks for the response.
• United States
2 Dec 06
My children get an occasional spank for a predetermined unacceptable behaior and anyone who knows them would tell you that my children are remarkably well behaved. If I give my son a choice of losing priviledges or toys or being spanked, he will choose the loss of priviledge every time. This tells me that the spanking, while he dislikes it, is a more effective form of discipline as a consequence for predetermined unacceptable behavior. I do believe that there is a time in life when spanking (not hitting or beating) is an effective discipline, but there comes a time when other things become more important to the children and loss of those priviledges are more effective than a spank. I send my children to their room and make them wait for a while before they are spanked. I talk to them about what behavior they have done that requires discipline. I do not spank when angry. The waiting period allows us both to cool off. We have some friends who are older and have no children of their own. They are very particular about their home and rarely invite children into their home, but ours are invited regularly and they are even our children's selected guardians if anything happens to us. They only accepted this responsibility because our children are well behaved and they (our friends) respect our children.
• United States
2 Dec 06
Just because you spank a child doesnt mean you dont love them. Actually it's the opposite. Parents should always speak with their kids when being discipined. Surely they spanked you for doing wrong. Instead of feeling unloved you should have knew they were only doing it for your own good. If you had to walk eggshells it sounds more like an abusive situation ..not positive.
@stephifr (72)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I agree with you. There have been people I know as well as myself because I lived in a different state that have called DFCS to see if they could spank their children and not get in trouble for it. All the answers were the same. Parents have the right to spank their children. But that's on the bottom. I know growing up that's all we got, we didn't get things taken away, we got our butts beat. That was enough though. I don't think we would have the problems we do with the kids now a days if the parents would do more then just "talk" to their kids. That isn't working people! That's why we have the school shootings. Hello?!?!?
2 people like this
@rawpoet (2047)
• United States
2 Dec 06
Excellent post!!
1 person likes this
@gifana (4834)
• Portugal
2 Dec 06
I was spanked when I was a child and I have to say it did me a lot of good. I always knew when I was gonna be spanked when we went visiting because if I acted up my father would give me two chances to stop it and if I didn't the third was wait until we get home. I knew that when I got I would have to go to the bathroom, take off my panties and lean over the tub and wait for him. Sometimes it took a while and he didn't spank me but other times it was soon as we got home and it hurt. He always said...this is gonna hurt me more than you....how wrong he was....lol. I was not abused in any way.....what spankings I got were deserved. Had I had children I would have treated them the same way. One other thing he never reprimanded me in public...it was always after we got home and only of the tush.
• United States
3 Dec 06
I think spankings helped me too.. thanks for the response.
@GardenGerty (128854)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I spanked my kids, occasionally, also did the mouth with soap thing one time, I believe. I did some privelege revoking, and some extra chores. For awhile I quit spanking because it was out of anger, and I could feel myself getting more angry as I spanked--in other words, it was eleveting to a beating.I work with kids, in a school setting. For an inservice we had a speaker from SRS who told us that it is okay to spank (in our state) and the particular circumstances. I realized, when I had a home daycare that it did not work to spank a child for hitting--it was contradictory--"I am going to hit you because you hit and hitting is wrong" one of the families I watched had an older sibling who hit the other,and spanking was the discipline mom used. I did not spank my daycare kids, although most parents told me to, but I did not want to risk a lawsuit.I have grandkids now, and they get spanked. I have spanked one of them myself. I came to the conclusion with my own kids that early intervention, in the form of an appropriate spanking when they were little, eliminated the need for more when they got older. They learned their lesson. I did owerhear a foster child once tell a friend to call SRS and complain of being beaten if the parents did not do what they wanted. I do not think the foster kid ever had done this, but he probably had threatened to. From what I have seen, and what I have tried to have checked out, I do not think SRS would have done anything. In our state they are greatly understaffed.
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
yes, i think it's ok to spank kids, but not to hurt them too much. it's a form of discipline, i was spanked when i was a kid and i find nothing wrong with it.
2 people like this
@brinda (36)
• India
2 Dec 06
yes , i agree there is a difference between spanking and beating. when we were growing up our parents followed the adage" spare the rod and spoil the child " and so as and when necessary we did get a small spanking, and i sure think we grew up pretty discplined !! but now i've kids of my own and i try to be a little more accomodative than the older generation, and I do feel my kids have grown up well with less spankings because we are now in an age where most things are discussed openly so much so that the kids of today are more mature and thoughtful thanks to the media and other influences.
2 people like this
@Lugh69 (149)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I think it's ok to spank your kids as long as you are doing it to discipline them not because you are angry. I received many whippings growing up but don't feel I was abused. I also had to eat a lot of soap to wash out all of the cuss words I used
@momto2 (472)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I def. know there is a difference between beating and disiplining a child. I will admit, I have spanked my son. And guess what, it doesn't work for him! He just throws himself on the floor and kicks his feet and his temper gets even worse. (he's 2) Instead, I explain to him what he did wrong and direct his attention else where. I think you gotta do what works, without harming your child. 2 wrongs don't make a right.. you child hits the dog.. you spank him.. what's the moral?
2 people like this
@chiyosan (30213)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
beating is really not allowed, when you spank your kids, it is ok but must be limited to their hands only. beating child can become really dangerous to them.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Dec 06
of course beatings could kill a kid... big difference..
@kahheng (281)
2 Dec 06
It is not just about spanking. Spanking alone is NOT enough to bring up ones children. We have to understand the reason behind spanking before we go into that action. IMHO, the reason we spank your children is to teach them that their doing wrong will result to punishment. Children are not mature enough to understand the meaning of punishment by sitting at a corner, for instant, or taking away the video games. After a certain time period, they would be able to leave the corner or get it (the video game) back. It does not sink in to their mind that they are punished. Now, spanking is a different sort of punishment all together. It inflict pain to the child, thus, the child remembers it for a longer period of time. After spanking, the child's parent need to explain to the child the reason behind the spanking. That way, the child can relate their wrong doing to the pain punishment, thus makes them a better person as they grow up. We cannot blame the goverment for introducing DCFS as well, we need to know the reason behind this. From what I can comprehend, there are a number of parents who uses their children as punching bags to release stress and frustration. Though it is not all of us who does it, the goverment need to impose a check, thus this organization. IMHO,spanking should be imposed on our children but it must be done with care and proper guidelines.
• United States
3 Dec 06
I agree! and I do agree DCFS is a good thing to have too. There are many kids out there that need this help!