My son has changed a lot over the years/he's a good person

@sissy15 (12269)
United States
March 2, 2024 6:55pm CST
I was looking at a picture that was posted on my son's principal's page that was taken of my son's team at the beginning of the year and couldn't believe how much younger he looked and it was only a few months ago. It's amazing how fast a child's looks can change in just a short amount of time without you even realizing it. When you're with them every day you just adjust to the changes as they are happening so you don't notice until you look at pictures. My son has gotten taller and a lot thinner since then. Whenever he grows he stretches out and gets thinner if he wasn't already thin. He has had periods where he was a little heavier but it never lasts and goes away as he gets taller. He has never been overly heavy but you'll see it in his face and belly usually. He has always been considered average weight for his height or a little under but for whatever reason he'll look chubbier than he is. When he was little he was so tall and thin and we struggled to find pants that fit him in the waist that were the right length. I was so thankful for the little elastic things in pants that you could adjust the waist. Skinny jeans always looked like regular jeans on him. Now he's basically back to being on the thinner side of average. According to a weight chart he should be between 133 lbs and 168 lbs for his height. He is 130 lbs so not sickly or anything just runs on the thinner side as he usually has. It's just interesting to see the changes in him. His baby looks have pretty much gone and went. He is this amazingly funny kid who laughs so easily and is quick-witted. He has always been that way but I notice it coming out more now, especially around others. People are seeing more of his amazing personality that they may have missed last year due to his sensory and emotional control issues which have improved greatly this year. I have looked through a lot of his pictures recently and have noticed how much his looks have changed over the years but at the same time how you can always tell it is him. I remember when he was in first grade he took in his baby pictures and the teacher told me he looked the same and in a lot of ways he did but you could still see the differences. My son's looks have never changed so much that you couldn't tell it was him in baby pictures but they've changed enough that he looks so different. His personality has changed a ton over the years and he is becoming this amazing human who I could not be prouder of. Part of how a child turns out is due to parenting but the other part has to do with who a child is and their personality. Sometimes a kid can have the best parents and still turn out differently than they were raised. Other times a child can have terrible parents and still turn out to be an amazing person. It just goes to show you that as much as parenting can play a part in how a child turns out ultimately it is who a child is. Different kids can be raised in the same household with the same parents and turn out to be two completely different people. I often think about my brother and sister. They have the same mom and dad (I share the same mom with them) they had an alcoholic father and had a lot of similar experiences but one became an alcoholic and is in and out of jail and prison while the other one is a cop and a DARE officer. They saw and dealt with the same things but they both did different things with their lives based on the same situations. I don't know how my son would have been without me as his mother. I don't know if my parenting played a giant role in who he has become and is becoming or if he somehow would have been the same person without me as a parent. I don't know how much credit I really get for who he is. I did discipline him and tried to teach him morals but at the same time, I also failed a lot over the years and lost my temper and yelled at him and took some anger out on him which I'm not proud of. I have always apologized and tried to teach him we are all human but sometimes those kinds of things can really damage a person. I think about how a lot of amazing people came from terrible home lives and how some really terrible people had great home lives. You just can't know what is nature vs. what is nurture. My son gets his own credit for being the amazing person he is. I just hope he takes the good things I've done for him and remembers those the best like the way we always read together and how I would play games and watch movies with him. I want him to remember the good things and only remember the times I failed as a reminder that I'm human. My son has changed a lot over the years but he's always been the same smiley empathetic person. When he cares about someone he cares about them with everything he has. He has empathy for strangers and cries when he hears about complete strangers who are hurting. He once asked me how he could help others and I told him that sometimes just being kind to people he doesn't know is helping others. My favorite quote about people is "Hurt people hurt people" People hurt others because they themselves have been hurt and the best way to deal with others is to be kind which is sometimes easier said than done but when someone is hurting they want everyone around them to hurt. I try to remember that when I'm annoyed or angry. You can't control others you can only control your reaction to others. The biggest reason I never got bullied for long as a kid is because I didn't react. I ignored it or would read a room and could tell when people didn't like me so I'd go somewhere else. I did get bullied and had my feelings hurt quite a few times but I never let them see it. I just want to say that the best thing to be is kind. In the picture they took of all of the monthly students of the month winners there is a sign in the background that just hit it said "Some kids are smarter, have cooler clothes, are better at sports. It doesn't matter YOU have your thing too, be the kid who is generous, who can get along, who is happy for others, who does the right thing". I feel like my son fits all of those things and then some. He has always been that way. When he was three and was in soccer he was running and saw a kid fall down and stopped chasing the ball to help him up and that told me everything I needed to know about him for one he probably wouldn't be great at sports but also that he would always care more about others than winning and to me that's so much more important than being a great athlete. I'll take the kid who cares rather than the kid who is naturally gifted. He is the kid who has a heart of gold and I wouldn't trade that for anything. My son has changed a lot over the years in looks and personality but the one constant that has always been there is that he's a good person. No matter how tough things were he never stopped caring or being there for others. He has always been a good person.
2 people like this
2 responses
@celticeagle (160390)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Mar
It sounds like you have a great young man as a son. I have saved a school picture each year while my daughter was in school. It is fun to go back and look at them and see the changes that took place. It's fun to see the changes in our children over the years.
@apsmine9 (316)
3 Mar
Your son is a gift to you and your gratitude is spilling out for what he is. Please do not blame yourself or feel bad about your shortcomings. You, as a mother, is important to yourself as well. You need to give yourself time and space. Your son is your world as I understand.