Chorus of frogs wins Turkish Eisteddfod.

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I grew a beard, lost some weight and climbed out of the bedroom window just as the moon dipped behind the mountains. The ladder Harry had propped against the wall earlier in the afternoon for me had remained unnoticed by the police and my family, but just as I reached the final rung I realised that I’d forgotten to put on clothes. Harry had been waving frantically as I made my way down the ladder towards him, butt first, but I didn’t notice until I could hear his loud, frantic whispering that seemed to contain a lot of spit and cursing. He sent me back up the ladder in search of clothes, and when I climbed out of the window the second time, fully dressed, the ladder was still there, and so were the bushes. That’s where it all started to get very weird. The nurse’s blood pressure cuff malfunctioned, and the spare that she borrowed from the zoo was one used on octopuses so it had eight cuffs and she couldn’t decide which cuff to use on me. Harry suggested putting a cuff on each arm and each thigh, and he volunteered his own limbs for the four remaining cuffs. It took a while to get that all sorted, and when the nurse got the whole contraption fired up she didn’t know which of the eight limbs the reading was referring to. It’s little wonder the world’s in the state it’s in.