Attracting Gaslighting Person
By larish
@larish (2264)
Philippines
May 3, 2025 9:13pm CST
I have a friend (girl) who have been to 3 relationships for the past 10 years and all of her partners always ended up cheating on her with another girl and all these 3 guys would gaslight her for telling her that she was the reason why their relationship did not work out. Right now, she is in her 4th relationship. She was with him for 9 months now and the same story is now resurrecting again. She was telling me again that she caught him chatting with a another girl and when she confronted the guy, he denied it at first but after a couple of confrontations, he said that it was my friend's fault that led him to cheat. He said my friend was too obsess to him that she was suffocating him in the relationship. They are still together as of this writing as my friend apologizes and promise the guy that she will give him the freedom he wanted. As her friend, I would often tell her that nothing is wrong with her and she deserves someone who is faithful but she just ended up avoiding me. I have not talk to her for two weeks now, which is unusual as we would always talk every week. I dunno, I really miss my friend but I do not want to retract what I said to her as I believe that her current partner is also the same the the previous relationship she had. Yesterday, I sent her a message telling her that I am just here just in case she needs a friend. What would you do if you are in my situation?
6 people like this
4 responses
@DaddyEvil (153007)
• United States
4 May
That is the right thing to say to a friend.
I'm going to ask a question and I just want you to think about what you see and hear while she and her boyfriend(s) are together. IS she clingy and needy with a guy? It can get really annoying when a girl acts like that. (Chatting with another girl doesn't mean he's doing something wrong. Guys are allowed to have female friends, just like girls are allowed to have male friends without somebody thinking they're doing something wrong. A girl that thinks like that is messed up and needs a reality check.)
Of course, that doesn't give them the right to cheat on her. They should break up if they really feel like that and then find someone they like better.
2 people like this
@larish (2264)
• Philippines
5 May
Come to think of it. Yes, my friend is clingy and always needy to all her past and current boyfriend/partner. Your question made me realize that maybe my friend attracts this kind of relationship after all. I was hoping that I will have the patience to continue to listen to my friend whenever she expresses her thoughts and feelings on her current relationship.
1 person likes this
@larish (2264)
• Philippines
15 May
@DaddyEvil, you are an inspiration. Lucky you that you were able to divorce your wife and have the custody to your child.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (153007)
• United States
5 May
@larish I'm sorry. I always feel sorry for guys trapped in that type of relationship. I was in a relationship just like that for years until I got up the nerve to leave her. She and I were married for 14 years because she wouldn't accept divorce as something I desperately needed... I didn't betray her but it felt like I was in a straight jacket for the last 8 years of our marriage. She hoped having a child with me would keep me in her clutches... I got divorced and got custody of our daughter.
My wife kept trying to convince the judge that I didn't really want a divorce. I broke down in court, crying because the judge believed her... Only then did the judge realize my wife was using the courts to torture me and signed the divorce papers and gave me full custody of our daughter. It really was hell on Earth for me.
One thing my ex kept saying to me was that she couldn't sleep if I tried to get some space by sleeping on the couch in our living room. Which was stupid... She'd managed to sleep just fine for the first 37 years of her life without me beside her... She could live without me beside her forever if she wanted...She was just trying to make me feel guilty for needing space away from her even if that space was just to sleep without her clinging to me.
After our divorce, she stole some of my clothes when I was moving out so she could sleep in them and feel like I was still beside her every night. How screwed up is that?
Good luck with your friend. I hope she can't find any more guys to mistreat like that.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (50918)
• Mojave, California
4 May
I will get killed for this but she shows the quality of what it takes to be welcomed by America. If you ever wanted to come here.. She is not wrong in how we choose under Trump.
I am with you its no laughing matter and thats tough, hope she finds piece if world does not work out the way you would like You make do and and do the best you can.
2 people like this
