They say parenting gets easier the older your kid gets

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They say parenting gets easier as your kids get older. In the sense that there is less to do for them, this has been mostly true for me. Emotionally I can't say it has been easier. Watching your child grow up is so bittersweet. It isn't easy watching as your baby boy grows up and away from you. It's healthy and they need to grow up and away a little. I'm not saying that my child never wants me nearby or that he doesn't want to spend time with me because he does but it's different now. I think watching my son grow up has been one of the hardest things I've had to do in my entire life. I want him to grow up. I want him to become whoever it is he is meant to become in this world but letting go is so difficult. It hurts knowing I have to let him out into a world where I can't protect him but that's the way it has to be. I'm so proud of the person he is becoming. He's kind, funny, sweet, smart, polite, quick-witted, and empathetic. He's one of the best people I know. I know I can trust him. I love him for who he is but knowing I have to shove him into this world and watch him stumble and figure things out is difficult. I have had to let go day by day and let him take on the world little by little so it isn't just forced on him all at once. I've had to give him his independence and pray for his safety. I no longer get to be beside him all the time making sure he makes good choices because that's up to him now. He has to take all of the things I've taught him and maybe some of the ones I didn't and use them to make his way in the world. Enjoy your littles while you can because before you know it you're in a world of bigs. You're watching as your child outgrows a lot of the things they once loved. You're watching as they make and lose friends. You're watching their entire lives change little by little and sometimes you just aren't ready but that doesn't mean they aren't. You just hope that you've prepared them the best you can. It's difficult letting go. Yes, he's more self-sufficient. Yes, he's easier to talk to and reason with now but it's harder to let go than most can even imagine. I'd go back and do it all again for just a few more minutes with my sweet little boy. I'd hold him longer. I'd kiss his chubby cheeks and hold his little hand and reassure myself that it's all going to be okay because it is going to be okay. It's just difficult letting go. Looking at his much more manly face and seeing that little boy face staring back at me. He hates when I tell him he'll always be my baby but he will. I know he's growing up but I'll always have moments where I see his sweet baby boy face staring back at me. Yesterday I dropped him off for his first day of preschool where he screamed and reached for me and I had to leave as it felt like my heart was being ripped out as I heard his cries for me and today I woke up to a teenager who is taking on the world day by day without me. I know this is how it has to be and I accept it but boy is it difficult. When people ask if it gets easier when they get bigger this is what I say. It gets easier physically but not emotionally. Emotionally I will always miss being able to hold him and keep him safe from the world. It's not that the teen years aren't full of good moments because they are they are just different. It's just that you realize how close they're getting to being adults and as a mom, we sometimes struggle to let go because we just want to be able to keep them safe for as long as possible but we also have to let them grow up and that's why it's so difficult.