I Want to Strangle Her
By Jim Bauer
@porwest (105661)
United States
July 2, 2025 5:11pm CST
I'm not a bad guy. Not really. I can be grumpy, but I'm not even really a get off my lawn kind of guy. I don't dislike kids. That doesn't mean I want to be around them 24/7. They can be annoying if you get too much of them if you aren't used to them being around all the time.
But there's this girl down the street. I have no idea how old she is. Maybe 9 or 10? I want to strangle her.
No. You read that right. I really do.
See, she's a screamer. And when I say "screamer," I mean SCREAMER. It's three doors down and I can hear her as if she were nearly outside my window. Granted, it's more like a bird from here. But a really shrill one, shrieking, perched on my windowsill...
Nonstop. Every day.
I mean, what in the literal Sam Hell could she even be screaming at??? And where are the parents? I get it, outside voice being used outside. I get it as well, it's a kid.
But does she have to scream at the top of her lungs endlessly? Can't her mom tell her to shut up? Do the neighbors for half a block both ways need to be terrorized by this endless shrieking? Aren't there ordinances? I mean, if I can hear her, so can the whole neighborhood, and the mom of this annoying little screaming brat can't not hear it. Doesn't it drive her crazy? How could it not?
Yes. Sue me. Hate me. Think terrible of me. But I want to strangle her to make it stop. As one guy used to say all the time when he got annoyed by something, "You're going to read about me in the news."
I'm really trying hard to stay out of tonight's headlines.
7 people like this
5 responses
@LeaPea2417 (38265)
• Toccoa, Georgia
3 Jul
After awhile she will get horse and lose her voice for awhile since she is screaming all the time.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (125402)
• Gainesville, Florida
6 Jul
That would drive me absolutely insane, to hear nonstop screaming all day long. I don't think I would be able to bite my tongue, and I would march right down and tell that little brat to shut the hell up. And then I would find the parents and give them a peace of my mind as well.
Oh man, I have become a "get off my lawn" type of guy! LOL
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (125402)
• Gainesville, Florida
12 Jul
@porwest Piggybacking off this conversation, yesterday at work I was down one of the aisles in receiving where we store refrigerators, and another associate came down the aisle and I jokingly said in an old man voice, "Get off my aisle!" And he laughed and responded, "You're that old guy that yells at kids to get off his lawn," and I burst out laughing.
1 person likes this

@clrumfelt (5562)
• Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee
3 Jul
Maybe try meeting the parents first if possible. The endless screaming might be why they send her outside.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (198595)
• United States
3 Jul
LooeyVille brings up a good point; but screaming would drive me batty. I like my peace and quiet; and kids are not first on my list of favorite humans.
1 person likes this
@ogbenishyna44 (750)
•
3 Jul
Im glad you didnt strangle her. You just have to take it easy.
1 person likes this
