For Me, It Was Compassion
By Ms.Chelle
@Chellezhere (6185)
United States
July 4, 2025 4:27pm CST
Today, I felt compassion most strongly—especially for caregivers. I was one during the early lockdown days of COVID. I was doing so as a legally blind woman with dead knees. I HAD NO RESPITE! And, I was taking care of my mother and her manipulative wife. Mom had Stage 4B metastatic pancreatic cancer, with leakage to her bile duct. Her 400+ pound wife was abusing prescription drugs for attention. I can't tell you how many times I had to call the fire department to get her up off the floor. It was a nightmare. Caregiving is brutal and invisible, and it deserves recognition and real support. No one should ever tell a caregiver to sacrifice her own needs when help (like Hospice) is available. Yes, they were there for Mom—for me—for us, but again, it was during the throes of COVID.
What emotion did you feel most strongly today?
8 people like this
8 responses
@Ineeddentures (8279)
•
13h
Your mum had a manipulative wife??
Don't we all
I am joking, Yvonne and me are not married
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
13h
I'm just grateful I was grown and out of the house before they met.
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
12h
@Ineeddentures Yes, but it also answered why some people treated me unfairly. They assumed that since she did, I did too. Never. I prefer men.
1 person likes this
@Ineeddentures (8279)
•
13h
@Chellezhere
Was it a shock to you that your mum ( mither) ( Montrose word) had decided to bat for the other side.?
1 person likes this
@laser_vision (126)
• United States
12h
I love the picture. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.
I consider it cruel to force a blind person with bad knees into a caregiver role. I'm sure you did it out of love for your mom, but sometimes we need to realize that the ones who need care shouldn't be the caregivers. The fact that you had to endure manipulation on top of it really chaps my hide.
No strong emotions today, just a phantom sense of woundedness from yesterday. It's weaker than it was on July 1st, I'm processing said wounds and it's going away.
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
11h
I was not forced. Mom asked me to be her caregiver. It was my honor. Her wife was a huge problem during all this. But, I would not have traded caring for my mother for anything in the world.
1 person likes this
@laser_vision (126)
• United States
6h
@Chellezhere My apologies then. Never let anyone, especially a foolish internet commenter such as I, take your honor and dignity away from you. I am sorry that I misunderstood your post and did not understand your honor. I hope you will be able to forgive me someday.
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
Just now
@laser_vision It's funny, I was the one who lived furthest away. One of my brothers only lived a 45 minute drive away from Mom, but she chose to ask me—her oldest and only daugter to come and help her.
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
50m
I am grateful that through it all, none of us contracted it, and the only person to ever wear a mask around Mom was the Hospice nurse.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (193391)
• United States
1h
I'm sorry you went through all of that. Today I mostly feel lonely. I miss my husband so much.
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
52m
I am so sorry. I may only know losing a husband through divorce (which was my choice), but I do know the loneliness you feel after nearly 60 years together still hurts. And I know grief has no time limit. Take all the time you need, and know that we are here.
@Nakitakona (57352)
• Philippines
12h
Upon reading this my heart breaks. The word itself is caregiving and giving is care. During that terrible time of Covid,, it's terrible. Yes I do have the same compassion with you to those frontliners.
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
11h
It was a terrible time to do much of anything other than pray.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (86591)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15h
All I can feel today is total happiness I order my groceries tomorrow,
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
14h
Happiness and groceries are a wonderful pair. I hope your bill is less tomorrow than it has been for a while. I hope.
@sw8sincere (5767)
• Philippines
12h
Today, I felt gratitude most strongly.. grateful for quiet moments and the chance to hear stories like yours.
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (6185)
• United States
11h
I am grateful that you've felt such strong gratitude. That is always good.
