Should I Confront Her or Let It Go? / myLot

United States

July 16, 2025 8:55am CST

One of the girls that I play cards with on Thursdays is really ticking me off. Let's call her "Blondie." Normally there's 4 of us. But when her sister-in-law goes on a camping trip and can't make it, Blondie invites someone to take her place, like a substitute. But she doesn't ask the other two of us first. What if one of us wanted to invite a friend or just keep it with 3 people instead? So tomorrow is our 6 year anniversary of playing cards together on Thursdays and I had already told them I was bringing presents for them and last night after 10 pm she texts and says she's bringing her daughter to play cards with us tomorrow. First, she should ask us first. Second, it's our anniversary. I don't have a gift for the daughter (who is close to 50 years old by the way). We're supposed to be celebrating "us." So should I confront her or let it go?

7 people like this

8 responses

Amber

@AmbiePam (100544)

• United States

16 Jul

I’d let it go, and not worry about having a gift for the daughter. I know traditionally one doesn’t leave anyone out, but she is an older adult, this isn’t a birthday party, and you can reiterate tomorrow what the get together is all about. You can even mention you didn’t know she was coming until last minute. If her mother has a problem with it later that would be an opening to mention it was supposed to be about you all in the first place, and you didn’t have a chance to prepare.

3 people like this

Fiacre Banks

@xFiacre (13927)

• Ireland

23h

@looeyville Let it go, but find a way of bringing up the issue after a while. Maybe suggest a rota for bringing an extra to make up the numbers - it’ll be your turn next?

2 people like this

Kareng

@kareng (77798)

• United States

15h

I would let it ride and talk to her about it if and when she makes some kind of comment about her daughter being ignored or whatever. She should have enough sense to not invite someone to your anniversary get together. You know the daughter will feel out of place if she doesn't know all of you.

1 person likes this

MARILYN

@Marilynda1225 (85364)

• United States

16 Jul

I would let it go for now and not worry that you don't have a gift for the daughter. But, at some point I would address the fact that she always brings someone and should ask first and definitely let the rest of you invite a 4th if you want.

1 person likes this

paigea

@paigea (36123)

• Canada

I'd let it go. Another time, I'd mention that I want to invite the next "substitute" and ask the others if they have any one they'd like to invite. I try to remind myself that I'm probably as annoying as the people who annoy me