Energy

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When the weather changes my memory lags, fluctuates, goes down, leaves, disappears, etc. When I was on the road with the carnival I found speed. There were ones, called Christmas trees, others were cross tops and several others. I had a guy I got them from who was actually playing me. Luckily a friend told me what his plan was. He was grooming me, going to get me wanting more and more speed, then get me on something stronger. My friend said this guy was going to sell me to traffickers across the border in Mexico. I left that part of the carnival and hid out with friends. I kept doing speed though. It was my friend. It helped me have more energy. I felt more alive. Fast forward--- I got off the road, came home and, after a while I quit with the speed. I got evaluated and diagnosed with major depression. Anti-depressants didn't give me the energy but it did give me peace of mind. I found other ways to get some energy at least. I didn't have to deal with lower life forms to get it and i was able to get on a more even keal. Life is funny isn't it?