That Friend

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When in college, I got to know this friend, probably the only one, I've looked up to, always. She has had been a constant companion during those days of sickness, I had had terrible wheezing problem, my mentor and a good orator. She was a topper in her school, had already earned her degree in MBA and had joined our college to study M.A. literature. She earned the gold medal too. I lost touch with her over a debt, she surmised I wouldn't return. I was deeply hurt and humiliated to see the lack of trust and had involuntarily left her after returning the money, I'd borrowed for my flight earlier. I must've left her with a rude shock. But I have no regrets. She is not in touch with my friends and batchmates except one. She has had come in my dreams twice or thrice, and every time, I had got that feeling of liberation, that ethereal feeling of having that one friend. A feeling, so peaceful, unique and liberating, that I kept thinking of her for some time. I did try to contact her sending one or two emails to which she had replied. Crisp. Short. No details. She's now holding a post of an executive director, earning in crores. Then one day, just as I decided to text her over WhatsApp, I saw, in my mind's vision, a flash. She reading my message in a gesture of 'Oh! Not again!!!' Never thought of her but dreams brought her back to me. Then today I saw her name flash over Snapchat. Someone like her over Snapchat!!! Two feelings keep nagging: that instant urge to get in touch with her but that vision again. What should I do?