Learning to Value Ourselves: Is It Wrong to Ask for Compensation?
@indahwow (122)
Yogyakarta, Indonesia
February 6, 2026 8:44am CST
Friends on myLot, I would like to start a sincere and thoughtful discussion.
For a long time, I have been used to helping others wholeheartedly, without expecting anything in return. I believe helping is a good thing. However, over time, I began to feel emotionally tired, not because of helping itself, but because I often felt unappreciated, and at times even looked down upon by people I had helped.
In many cases, my help actually brought real benefits, even income, to others. That made me reflect and ask myself:
Is it wrong to value our time, energy, and skills?
At this stage of my life, I am learning to be honest with myself. If I now mention compensation when someone asks for my help, it is not because I have become money-oriented, but because I also have living needs and want to maintain self-respect.
Of course, this does not apply to those who have always been there for me, especially during my lowest moments. For them, my help will always come from the heart.
I would love to hear your thoughts:
Where do we draw the line between helping sincerely and being taken advantage of?
Does asking for compensation mean losing compassion?
How can we stay kind without sacrificing ourselves?
Looking forward to your perspectives
4 people like this
4 responses
@indahwow (122)
• Yogyakarta, Indonesia
10 Feb
I used to always hold on to my father’s advice that I should be a useful person. However, in the process of being useful, there are times when people take advantage of us. In the end, I realized that this principle cannot be applied to everyone.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (171823)
• United States
7 Feb
If you're running a business and they choose to pay for your help, then that's fine because they can always refuse your help. But you cannot offer your services and then ask them to pay you after you've helped them.
For those who take advantage of you, simply don't help them anymore. That is always your choice.
1 person likes this
@indahwow (122)
• Yogyakarta, Indonesia
7 Feb
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I truly appreciate it. I agree that clarity from the beginning is very important, especially in a business context, so misunderstandings can be avoided.
You’re absolutely right that people always have the choice to accept or refuse help. That’s why I’m learning to be more transparent about boundaries and expectations upfront, so everything feels fair and respectful for both sides.
Regarding those who take advantage, I also agree that choosing not to help anymore is a valid and healthy decision. For me, this is part of learning how to help more wisely without sacrificing my own well-being.
Thank you again for contributing to this thoughtful discussion.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (117378)
• United States
6 Feb
I think you have the absolute right idea. For those who have always been there for you, you will continue to help.
Honestly, I am going through something like that right now, and I am going to have to make a change. The ungrateful attitude of one person in particular has totally changed my way of helping people now.
@indahwow (122)
• Yogyakarta, Indonesia
7 Feb
Thank you for sharing this so honestly. I’m really sorry you’re going through something similar. it’s not an easy situation to face.
I truly understand how one ungrateful attitude can deeply affect the way we help others. Sometimes it only takes one experience to open our eyes and remind us that kindness also needs boundaries.
Making a change doesn’t mean we’ve lost our good hearts; it simply means we’re learning to protect them. I hope this transition brings you more peace and balance. You’re not alone in this.
1 person likes this
@misunderstood_zombie (8765)
• United States
6 Feb
I think you are right. People will take advantage and use you up, and not care. God bless you!
1 person likes this
@indahwow (122)
• Yogyakarta, Indonesia
7 Feb
Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. I truly appreciate your perspective.
Yes, learning to set boundaries is not easy, especially when we are used to helping from the heart. But I’m realizing that protecting our well-being is also important, so that we can continue to help others in a healthier way.
Your encouragement means a lot to me. God bless you too, and thank you for being part of this discussion.
