Probably the hardest thing in my life

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I'm 62, my brother would have turned 60 this December, and it will be the 3rd I've had to celebrate without him. My brother was an alcoholic and he struggled with it his entire adult life. However, he came to the point where he knew he should do better and to become the dad to his kids that he wanted to be. So, in March of 2024, he checked himself into rehab and then into sober living. He was building a relationship with his 2 daughters and grandchildren. On Sept 4 my brother's ex wife messaged me telling me to call her. I started shaking, i knew it was going to be bad, but I was hoping that I was reading too much into it. Then she messaged again, "It's Mike, there's been a accident." Of course I called and she said Mike had been hit by a truck while crossing the street and been killed. She then gave me the number to the FHP officer handling the case. The patrol officer told me exactly what Wendy had told me, that my brother was killed after being ran over by a truck. I don't remember exactly when we found out it wasn't just a regular full sized truck but that the truck was a semi! A semi! I went through a couple of bad weeks. I didn't understand why my brother was killed when he was finally getting his life in order. I still don't. The pain is still so raw!