My son

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I don't think there is any greater compliment as a parent as someone telling you how amazing your child is. On repeat lately I've had people tell me how amazing my son is. I'm constantly told he is polite, respectful, kind, smart, and funny. They tell me he is a really good kid. They say he's the kind of kid you root for and want to see succeed. My son has his share of challenges. He is constantly struggling with how he views himself. I always told him I wish he could see himself through other people's eyes. He's the kid that people just like without trying. He always tells me he doesn't understand why animals and kids love him, because he doesn't do anything. I always tell him he doesn't have to, because they can see his soul. He's gentle and kind. He has the kind of empathy the world needs more of. He has never had issues making friends; he's very approachable despite being a little on the shy side. You can see the kindness in his eyes and his smile. I always tell him he's my greatest joy. I am extremely proud of him. He's not athletic, he's not a genius, he's smart, but he's not a genius. I've always said that, to me, the greatest measure of success is the kind of person you are. He has bad anxiety, and he struggles to believe in himself a lot of the time. He doesn't see exactly how amazing he is, even though everyone tells him on repeat. To him, he's just him. He doesn't understand why everyone thinks it's such a big deal that he's kind, and I tell him there aren't enough people like that in the world anymore. He's the kid who feels big emotions for people he doesn't even know. It's hard for him a lot of the time, but I feel like it makes him a better person. One day, he is going to make a difference; he probably already has in small ways, he doesn't even realize. He befriends the friendless, and he doesn't speak a bad word about others. He sometimes gets lost in all of the things he isn't he fails to see all the things he is. I tell him that so many people telling him how amazing he is can't be wrong, but he tells me he doesn't understand what they see. I tell him they see HIM. They see the kid who is kind, the kid who has a heart, the kid who has a smile for those who need one, the kid who, despite struggling himself, still thinks of others. I spent my entire life struggling with my own insecurities, and when I had him, my purpose finally clicked in my mind. I was meant to be this child's mother. I was meant to raise a good human. I wanted a lot for him over the years. I wanted him to be in sports or find something he was genuinely good at, but nothing really clicked, and I accepted that and waited for him to tell me what he wanted. Right now his love is choir. He loves to sing, and I can hear him singing all over the house. He's not a bad singer; he's not professionally good, but he's not bad. I told him to find his joy and hold onto it. I said a long time ago that if I was only going to have one child, he was going to be a good one, and I achieved that. He's more than good, he's amazing. I know I'm his mom, and therefore biased, but when everyone who has met him tells me how amazing he is, I know I can't be wrong. I would like to take all of the credit for him, but I know a lot of it is just him. When he was little, he was something else at times. I remember him fighting me every morning to get dressed. I would pull clothes on him, and he'd pull them off, and I'd get so frustrated. I'd drop him off at preschool, frustrated out of my mind, and he'd be angry and full of tears, because he was not pleased to have his sleep interrupted to go to school. When I would pick him up, despite how angry he was at drop off, he always greeted me with the biggest smile and would yell "MOMMY!" extremely excited to see me, and would give me the biggest hug, and then he'd tell me, "I'm so sorry I was mean this morning, mommy." He sat with guilt all day because of how he was in the morning, although he didn't learn from it right away and would continue to do this up through kindergarten before finally stopping, but the fact that he would think about it and apologize always kind of reminded me that he had a heart and a conscience. He struggled with emotional control for years before finally getting a better handle on it. He was the kid who would tell me how amazing I was, and still to this day will tell me I'm a good mom and that he loves me, but he also loves to give me a hard time. He was always the kind kid. He was always the kid who felt deeply. He has always had a conscience. I remember once we were at church with my mom, and my son didn't want to leave and was refusing to listen, so I went and picked him up, kicking and screaming, and took him to the car while we waited for my mom. He was angry and in the back seat. I asked him if he knew why I took him out of the church the way I did. He told me it was because he wasn't listening. I told him I loved him, and he said he knew I did, and that's why I disciplined him. We had discussions like this regularly, and I wanted him to be a good person because I loved him, and sometimes we make mistakes or don't listen, and we need to learn from it, and he just got it. He wasn't just parroting back; he understood. He was upset, but he loved me, and he knew I was upset, but that I loved him. These are things he just knew. He understood that love didn't mean someone always agreeing with you and allowing you to do what you want; he knew it meant loving someone enough to tell them when they're wrong, and listening to them even if you don't always agree with them. I may have had something to do with some of it, but the way he felt so deeply when he did wrong, and the way he just emotionally understood things some adults struggled to understand, always told me he had a good soul. Watching as he stopped mid soccer game once to help a teammate up who had fallen, he hated sports, but he loved playing with other kids, and he was so kind. He took every lesson I gave him and flew with it. He was born to be exactly who he is. He has the biggest heart I've ever seen. I don't know what I did right in life to get this kid, but I thank God every day that I get to be his mom.