It's Friday Morning!

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I'm still not okay. I am far from okay but I'm moving and getting things done. I am sitting this morning at my beautiful desk that my husband came home and put together for me. It's just an ordinary desk, no frills or thrills but I absolutely love it. I miss working at a desk and it's so much more comfortable than sitting on my bed and using a tray. It also matches the fish tank stand. There's been a Final Destination movie marathon going on here when I'm home. Today is number 5. It's not even scary to me anymore, they just are way too over the top after the second one. We're also on season 19 of the Survivor marathon. I'm not remembering seasons but I do seem to remember people that I don't like apparently. We took the jump and I got new EMS pants. I say it like that because they are so expensive. This pair ended up costing $82 with tax and all. They're a good name and I just want to find a pair that's comfortable and I can move in. If they work they'll be great for court next month and we start advanced class in September. I still need to do the Carrie Ann Ryan reviews. I'll probably get to that today. Then there's the Live today that I'll be doing from my shop. I actually got a couple orders but it's not enough so I'll keep pushing. In all honesty, I'm not pushing Father's Day the way I probably should but I'm really pushing the Fourth of July. I have some beautiful stuff for it and I'm excited about it. Oh and great news for me. I'm starting to write pen pals again. I joined a new page and a few of my original pen pals are starting to write again. I've missed doing that and I'm excited to start again. I've been taking notes and reading from the advanced EMT book that I have. It's not that far off from the new version so I'll get a little bit ahead there. I'm not sure if my hands will let me do this but there's nothing that will stop me from trying. There's a lot of rearranging to do yet in the bedroom as I'm going to bring the two drawer file cabinet in as well. That way I can keep all of my notes and records in one place. It needs cleaned out again anyway. Mom got my a file box and that's where my pen pal letters will go. Moving that will also give me space in that area to put the two rolling carts I just got from Chris's cousin Betty. I'm telling you the more I organize everything, the more things I need. Plus I keep getting into more things. Right now I don't even know if most of it will go in the shop but it's for me because I want to try it. I got a new little thing to start making stationary. It's such an easy little craft and I love the paper I can do. I started printing it for my pen pals and like I said easy and pretty. I have no clue if I'll do it for the shop but I'm enjoying it. Right now I have pretty Fourth of July paper. I'm trying very hard to get more shifts at EMS. I want to quit Chris and it has absolutely nothing to do with her grandmother. She is so sweet and she actually cares. Whether she remembers what you talk about is questionable but that's normal right now. I just feel like Chris takes me for granted and I'm so tired of it. I rank so low in her life anymore that I don't even have that to fall on as an excuse. I miss having actual friends. I know that life gets busy but you make time for a friend. You take that five seconds to text them. You ask if they're ok every now and then instead of only answering when you're asked. Tired may be an understatement and with everything I'm kind of just reaching a head. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to just shut down but I can't. I can't do any of it because I'm the strong one. I'm the one that gets everything done, keeps everything organized. Chris's step daughter came home yesterday and brought someone with her. That's great, I don't dictate who can be there or whatever. Never cared. I just asked for a heads up because she has a stupid open door policy. The back sliding door is never locked and that's how everyone comes in. Usually no knocking or anything either. All I ask to make me feel just a little secure is a heads up someone is coming. That's all. What I got was she got busy. No apology or oops just I got busy. I get that but she could have had her daughter text me, she has my number. I get that it's a small thing and it shouldn't bug me but it does. Or it did....or it does...I don't know anymore. Part of me feels like it's a small thing but then the other part is like I don't ask for much and I'm slightly paranoid. I come from Baltimore ok. People don't just walk in unless they want something not legal. It's just peace of mind. Today is just getting more stuff done as you can see lol. I have letters to write but I don't know if I'll text anyone other than my husband. I usually text a few people daily to see how they are and try to be positive for them but I don't think I have it in me today. What is everyone else up to? I have a feeling it's going to be unbearably hot today.