My son and what he wants to do when he grows up

Tweet

My son has probably gone through one of the worst years of his life recently, and while he will probably always struggle mentally, especially thanks to anxiety, he has figured out what he wants to do with his life through all of this. He has seen how little our area offers in therapy for adults, notably the main reason I stopped going to therapy, and he wants to make a difference. He has seen how much therapy and medication have helped him, and he wants to give back. He wants to do for other people what was done for him. I remember when he was away because of his own issues, he called me and told me he loved me and he missed me and hearing my voice, and then he goes, "Oh, did I tell you I figured out what I want to do when I get older?" I said no, because prior to that I always thought it would involve computers or video games, so it shocked me when he told me he wanted to be a therapist, but I could also see and understand it. My kid has always been incredibly empathetic. He has always cared so much about people, so while it shocked me, it also didn't, if that makes sense. He has spent his whole life being kind and caring to others, even when he himself was struggling. He has always made it his mission to cheer up everyone around him. When he sees me sick or feeling sad, he goes out of his way to make me a sandwich or check in on me. He will come and give me a hug. I will just think, man, how did I get such an amazing kid? My kid has had more struggles than anyone should ever have, but he keeps being amazing. He missed so much school last year due to so many different things happening and illness and more terrible things than anyone should have to go through, and he still had all As and Bs. His teachers all say how kind, polite, and funny he is. Teachers have almost always had a soft spot for him. His therapist told me that of all of the kids he has worked with, my son is one of the kindest, most polite, most caring kids he has worked with and that he genuinely thinks he will go far in this world if he gets the right help and keeps putting in the work. Sadly, that therapist has moved on, and my son is being assigned a new one; there is someone else working with him in the meantime. I know I talk about how proud I am of him, because I am. I don't think a parent could be more proud of their child than I am of mine (definitely on par with me, but I don't know how anyone could be more proud, because man it'd be hard). I look at my son and see kindness. I see a kid who genuinely loves and cares about the people in his life, and even the ones he barely knows. I see other parents dealing with their kids lying, stealing, going out and doing things they shouldn't, like drinking, etc., and my son told me he has no desire to even touch alcohol. He has seen what it can do to people (my brother). He told me he doesn't want to do anything that would change or alter who he is (other than the medication he takes to help with his anxiety and depression). We have never allowed him to use swear words, and one day he told me that even when he's an adult, he doesn't see himself using them, because he finds them disrespectful and feels he can make his point without them. I just see the kind of person he is, and I have yet to meet anyone else like him. The joke has always been that my son is so good that if I ever had another child, they would have been a little Damien. I also joke that because my husband's older two children have always been more challenging(although my husband didn't raise them for a bunch of different reasons, and I sometimes think this plays into their issues), my son was the relief from that. I said the third time must be the charm. I honestly don't know if I had another kid, if they'd be as sweet or kind as my son is. Even when he was little, and he was a struggle (the first five years were pretty rough), there was this sweetness in him. He could be having a meltdown, and if he thought I was sad or upset, he would stop and ask me if I was ok through tears. He used to fight me to get dressed every single morning up through kindergarten. I would literally be putting clothes on him, and he'd be trying to take them off. He would be so worked up; the irony is part of the problem was he didn't want to wake up, and I actually had to get him up earlier because of the battle I had with him. He was such a bear to deal with at times, but then I'd go pick him up from school and the first thing he would say when he got in the car was "I'm sorry I was bad this morning, mommy". He was so sweet and genuine, and I honestly believe he wasn't trying to be a brat in the morning but that he struggled to wake up, and it made him into a whole other beast. He had to have been thinking about what he did all day, because whenever he gave me a hard time, he was always genuinely sorry, but he definitely struggled. Looking back now, I have to wonder if that was really when the first signs of ADHD were coming out; he struggled with regulating emotions. We signed him up for soccer when he was 3. He hated every second of the games. He would stand in the middle of the field and glare at me and refuse to play. He loved the practices, though; he loved running and playing with the other kids, but something about the games he just didn't like. I remember during the last game he suddenly decided to play and was actually doing really well. He shocked everyone that day, but then a little boy fell down, so my son instantly stopped and ran over to help him back up, and when I think of my son, that's how I often think of him. He's the kid who cares more about others than winning anything. He has never cared for sports even though he's not actually bad at most of them, but it's just not him. He is amazing with kids. I got to take him to my work a few times, and the amount of patience he had with the kids was amazing. He sat down with some of the most difficult kids to deal with and played games with them. He tried to teach them chess. It didn't go well, but he tried. I told him he would make a great teacher, but a therapist makes sense too. My son is an extroverted introvert. He loves being by himself but he's also outgoing when he needs to be. He talks to people and he makes people feel good about themselves. He is funny and kind and does whatever he can to bring a smile to someone else's face. I have a book I'm having teachers sign for him (the Oh, the Places You'll Go book by Dr. Seuss) and so many of the teachers mention his smile. They mention his kindness and his sense of humor. They all go on and on about how amazing he is, and it speaks volumes to me about the type of person he is. When he can be having a terrible day, and everyone still says he's kind and funny it says a lot about who he is. I just hope he's able to actually go to college; we sure can't afford to send him, and I wanted to make sure he understood about loans and how he's stuck with them for life unless he can get them forgiven. I also told him to only do federal loans. I just hope he is able to go and do the work without getting overwhelmed. I know the school he is thinking about offers some additional help for kids who had IEPs and 504s in high school. He has so much help in high school with things, and I just want him to know college will be more challenging and not sign up and then have to quit and immediately start paying back loans. I told him to talk to his guidance counselor and his therapist (the therapist works at the school and actually helps with this kind of thing) and try to get everything he needs on track for college.