Do you lend money to family or friends?

that's sad. especially with such a small amount of money, it should not ruin a relationship like that. i would try to repair the relationship instead of trying to get back your last $40 that he owes you. Maybe for christmas say that instead of buying him a present you just make him a card saying that you forgive the rest of his debt to you and hope that you can spend more time together as friends and brothers like you used to (and never lend him money again!).

No way! I have a friend that used to borrow money and she never gave them back. She always complains about no having money but she always buys stuff, you know!

oh yes. i can feel your concern. sorry to hear about that though. i had been allowing my friends to borrow money from me. atleast, in the past. but i learned my lessons not to. i had loaned money to three friends. really big ones. i am a pharmacist and i just earn like 6thousand pesos per month. but i can manage to save money since i am really thrifty. and some of my friends needed money for emergency. one needed 10 thousand pesos, one needed 15thousand pesos and one needed 26thousand pesos. this this not happen at once. month after the other. three consecutive months. and i trusted them since they are really close to me. but however, when i get to ask for the money back (with no interest), they usually give me execuses. sometimes, they don't feel like talking to me. they started avoiding me. huh? seems like i am the one who owe them money? i never tried to talk to them after months of avoiding me. i never contacted them anymore. and since then, i never considered them as a friend. i might be rude. but hey! i don't deserve such treatments.

Well I do not lend people money because I never have it to give, but I do offer to people whatever I can...a little story of how I learned the hard way.... About a year ago my brother, 21, had bad credit and wanted a cell phone. He had a job, all he needed was the credit and signature to get him into a contract. I was against the idea, but he lived with me and I know how hard life can be on the road without a phone, so I finally gave in. He was very responsible for the first few months, and my conscience was alleviated thinking I misjudged him and he was being responsible with it. Well, in May he moved out. Took the phone with him. He was very hard to get ahold of regarding the bill, and when he did pay it was only in partial payments. In July he had not paid me in full in a few months, and then he started racking up a huge phone bill thereafter-totalling up to over 500 dollars!!! I was angry and hurt and kept calling him telling him he needs to pay it and he kept giving me excuses. Then one day I called him and threatened if he didnt pay it in full I would terminate it. He yelled at me saying he was only a little behind and that he would pay me next week. Well next week came, no money and yet another phone bill statement came with monthly charges of another 200 dollars. I immediately shut it off, and a month later lost my phone (same compamny as his cell) because he never paid me and I could not afford to pay his and mine. This has caused very bad blood between us and we do not talk anymore. He ripped me off and he knows it. And he blatantly doesn't care.

I do lend money to family and friends, ive had no problems ever getting the money back, then whenever i need to borrow some money, i can.

I used to, but now i dont give a dime to any friends or family, if they have a problem paying a bill or something like that then i will pay it for them, but no longer giving them money.

I do sometimes 'lend' money. I have one daughter who, with the best of intentions, will ask to borrow money. Sometimes I see it back but more often she will forget. My other daughter is fortunate - her husband has been left quite a bit of money, so they don't need to borrow. My son is in finance, so if he asks to borrow, I know he will set up a payment scheme to pay it back! Whenever I 'lend' money, I do it on the basis that I may never see it back, so (privately) I call it a gift. If I ever lent a large amount of money (say several hundred dollars), I would do it with the proviso that it was paid back in regular payments (with or without interest) and that those payments were set up as a standing order from a bank. It's only fair, I think, that both parties know exactly where they stand, then there can be none of this 'I'm not speaking because I haven't paid what I owed', which is silly because it has nothing to do with your love for the person at all.

I have loaned my family and other relatives some money. Some of it I got back, some I haven't. It is not the wisest thing to do. As the bible says "The borrower is servant to the lender". Unfortunately this "borrowing money thing" ruins lots of relationship. Sometimes you get the connotation that your a bad relative when you ask for the funds back. At times I'll just let it pass even though it sucks. Like what you said your being treated like a collector, this part is normal. Since you lend your brother some money, everytime he sees you he'll be thinking that your going to ask for it. $160 is not worth losing a brother, just tell him that you don't care about the debt and tell him he don't need to avoid you. Hope this will help in restoring your relationship with him.

I have loaned money to family and friends before and I usually look at it as an investment and figure I won't get it back. Most of the time, I don't get it back. I have had trouble with loaning money to friends before and they started doing the same thing, avoiding me as if I were a collector. So, I just sat down and had a talk with them. Told them I didn't want them to feel that way and that my policy is: if I can't afford to loan it and not get it back, I don't loan it. That way, there's nothing to hold over our relationship. Once I had this talk with them and told them I didn't want them avoiding me like a bill collector, it was all good again. Not to say I loaned them money again or that they even asked for it again, neither happened. But, at least we could save our relationship. My best to you.

I have loaned money and although I haven't had arguements about it thats only because I won't argue or request for the money back. Since that is the case I will not ever let any friend or family money.

When I loan money to people I care about, I always consider it a gift rather than a loan. This way if I get repaid I will be glad, but if I don't I won't be surprised. I think lending money can often be the wedge that drives friends (or relatives) apart.

Don't lend what you wouldn't give. Otherwise you end up complaining about $40 freaking dollars, rather than seeing that oyur relationship is WAY MORE IMPORTANT. I let a friend "borrow" $200 dollars when she was in a hard spot. But I figured it was no big deal if she ever paid, or if it took her 10 years to pay me back.

I just loaned a close relative my Christmas shopping money because of an emergency. They promised I'll have it back a few days before Christmas. I believe they will pay me back as promised.

I use to loan people money. But not anymore. If I got back the money from everyone. I would be alot happier. And yes it does change realtionships. I do not talk to these people anymore.

yes if friends ask me for money i will lead

we have been giving away money to his family most of my married life.Notr parents (I do not mind that) but siblings.Fact is we do not expect it back too,that is why I wrote giving away money.It had not bothered me at laa till now but recently someone told me during coversation that we gave money because we wanted to and not because they needed it.I was shocked because whenever we gave the money we had to forgo something we wished to purchase.we never had surplus money and now still we have been giving money but it has now started bugging me as I have to compromise on my children's needs so many times.I will tell you an example.we had many visitors recently and all shopped we paid the bill for few itmes for them.Thsy left and we were tight but never mind that.Hubby wanted to send something to his niece so we purchase a toy worth $7 or 350 INR my son was asking for a toy worth 4$ or 200 rs INR we didn't get him that.we didn't get him anything at all.I am still feeling guilty about it.what do you say to that? should I from now on start refusing to compromise or let the trend continue.

I lend money to people if I can afford to and trust the person to repay me back. I'd never let it get too high though. I'd start saying "You already owe me x amount." However, I'm in this situation at the moment. I owe my boyfriend over £100 but I see him every chance I get and am planning to pay him back with my bonus that I'll be getting later this month :) I'm sorry lending your own brother money has changed your relationship for the worst, I hope you can make amends with him even though he has no reason to be avoiding you.

Never never never loan money to family. If it comes down to that.. Give it to them and save all the heart ache of not getting it back and hurting your relationship.

never lend money to anyone it causes a great difference in ones behaviour. i loaned money to one of my close friend but now he always tries to hide from me.

Yep been there done that and got stung by my brother. Yep been there done that with my sister and has paid. I still talk to my brother but will never open my purse to him again.