Should a Parent be contacted if their child gets a detention or referral in HS?

@juls2me2 (2151)
United States
December 11, 2006 12:56am CST
Well, so far our Principal seems to believe a teacher or VP only needs to contact a parent 1-time regarding behavior issues in a classroom. So pretty much at the 1st referral is the only time they must contact a parent. Get this...a child can get kicked out of a teacher's class for getting 3 referrals and given an automatic "F" Doesn't matter what the referral is for, the Teacher isn't accountable for what they choose to assign a referral for. One referral was given for tossing a candy bar to a friend before class... Come on now. Do you think a parent should be contacted the day a referral is written? to at the least give the parent a chance to talk with their student to make better choices or just to stay informed?
44 responses
@paul8675 (750)
• Australia
11 Dec 06
As ateacher, I feel there has become far too much communication with parents. I think that teachers can simply put in a detention slip, and then it is the parents responsibility to contact school if they perceive a problem.
• United States
11 Dec 06
Communication - Close to how it should be!
Well I think that if you expect to just throw a slip into a box and hope the parent receives it, is just CRAZY! It is the Teacher/Schools job to inform the parents of ANY wrong doing of their children/child right away. Not to wait till days later. If you received a write up at your job that you didn't know about, and then your boss brings it to you about 7-10 days later, are you just going to sign it? Or are you going to say "why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner?" I believe you are going to ask questions! So why not expect the same from Parents?
@melanie652 (2525)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Yes, I think a parent needs to be kept informed of what their son or daughter is doing wrong. Kids won't always tell their parents. If nothing else, send the parent a copy of the referral in the mail.
• United States
11 Dec 06
discipline - discipline
absolutely!
@venshida (4837)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Normally, the teacher has the problem with the child and sets up the referral the principal is usually the last step. I don't think tossing a candy bar in school is a minor offense. What if he hit one of the other students? We live in a litigous society the other kid could probably bring a law suit. I am a substitute teacher and kids sometimes accidentally hit each other, and you will be amazed how much the little incident becomes a big deal. You probably need to have a conference with the teacher only by working together you can avoid escalation to the principal etc.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
22 Dec 06
Tossing the candy bar to a friend before class even starts, come on.... The teacher could've dealt with it other than a referral. The intention of the toss wasn't an evil vendictive hurtful toss, it was a friendly sharing toss between friends. Yes, it could've been handed to the friend outside of the classroom too, but couldn't the teacher be guiding to the students and redirect the situation. You make a good point at working together with the teacher, but what do you do when the teacher refuses to work with you?
@sexymuma (1261)
11 Dec 06
yes parents need to be informed,i told my children that if they had detention,i need to know,i also informed the school that i wanted notification before any detentions were taken,we do not have this 3 referrals,but i would not agree with this because the teacher who spends most of his time with his back to the classroom cannot see all that is going on in it,just the bits that he sees when he turns around,for one child it could mean wrong time wrong place and a F thats not right
@mistypq (673)
11 Dec 06
I agree with you! If your child has been given a detention it should be the next day after contacting the perents to say this is happening.You then can ask why and what for! they have no right to keep your chid after school time with out your permition. They can keep them in detention at play time without contacting you as this is school time. I have spent a lot of time in school trying to make perents understand the child has rights the perents must stand up for there children. There is no way they should give a "f".I Teach special needs so I know what problems occur, this is in UK, so in your country maybe they are not so tolerant???? Bad news for kids!!
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
11 Dec 06
I think the parents should always be contacted. For one, kids don't aways tell you whats going on especially if they got into trouble. And I think it should be phone contact and not a letter. Kids are sneaky sometimes and get to the mail first. But also like you said,sometimes its for stupid reasons and a parent really should be aware if anything like that happens to their child.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Thanks for your response. Its like pulling teeth just to get information about my kids day at school for the good things, he conveniently forgets the things he'll get into trouble for. I too feel the Teacher or the VP should definitely call and talk with a parent when a referral is given out. I also feel a Teacher needs to be held accountable for their reason of the referral.
• China
12 Dec 06
I think it really depends on what the referral is for. I don't really think I believe a teacher would write a referral for someone tossing a candy bar to someone else "before" class. Perhaps there is a misunderstanding here between the teacher and yourself, you have posted another topic on this so I know you are frustrated. If the referral isn't for something that the parent needs to take care of it seems like a waste of time to call the parent. It seems that the necessity to be called right away is naught as the student already has the referral. It's not like the parent can argue it for the student right then and there anyway. The parent needs to be notified, but not with a call, perhaps with a letter home from the headmaster. The student can bring the letter with them. If there are a lot of referrals in a short time, then the parent should speak with the student and the school and try to figure out a solution. This is also something the headmaster needs to work on and initiate a dialog with the parent about.
@neon2000 (2758)
• Philippines
12 Dec 06
It should be the right of the parents to know what is happening with their kids in school. They should always be contacted and be informed about his kids.
@neon2000 (2758)
• Philippines
12 Dec 06
It should be the right of the parents to know what is happeining with their kids in school. They should always be contacted and be informed about his kids.
@TheoMom (110)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Parents should always know what's going on with their kids. Schools don't bring them up although some parents think that way. But a true parent should know all.
@medooley (1874)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Absolutely parents should be informed... and parents should work with the teachers to try to stay informed. My children are not in school, but when they are I plan on letting the teachers know that they can contact me at anytime if and when they are having an issue with my child. I certainly do not want to have something happen where my child gets susppened and there may have been something I could have done to help prevent it.
@darr195 (110)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Yes, I think the parents should DEFINITELY be notified.
• United States
12 Dec 06
a parent should be contacted about anything a child or young teen does in school if they would then there might be less problems they could try to help when it starts instead of when its to late. my stepson last year in (k) got in some BIG trouble he told some kids in his class some stuff about a movie that was not good for school not even good for him to be watching and then told some girls that he would put his wennie in there butt (he heard a friend say it) the teacher had to fill out a police reportcause of the other stuff what he said to the kids was that he would kill them cut up ther bodys and hide them the teacher knew it was a movie or something by the way he was tlking but they still filled it out youe see his mom at the time worked and his dad to as well as his stepdad but i was at home (stay at home mom)his mom was home this day as well but they never called ether of us they said we thought you were at work his mom said you should of called his stepmom she would of come up here. it took us two days to hget ahold of his teacher and talk about it all if they would of called it would of went better
• United States
12 Dec 06
I think a parent should be informed on what their kids do in school.and not only the first time but everytime parents like keeping up with their children so they should be able to know if their kids are getting in trouble in school.
@pinklilly (3445)
• Australia
12 Dec 06
Parents should be contacted first They don't always Know what is happening with their children at school. They usually find out later when the damage is done...
@shyam4uall (1002)
• India
12 Dec 06
I think the parents should always be contacted ....the teachers should inform every act of their children to their parents becoz they sometimes lies in the home or ignore many things by just commenting on other things and try to ignore that... So it is the responsibilty of the teacher as well as the parents to be in contact with eachother regarding their child performances ,behavoiur etc...
• United States
12 Dec 06
yup, always
• United States
12 Dec 06
Big Bear, Man, Guy - Big Bear
Nope. Your child got himself/herself into this mess. Let him/her get himself/herself out of it. Require the child to do the contacting. Require the child to endure the blunt end of it. Obviously the questioner has not spent much time teaching several classes of 20+ youngsters a day. And YES, the candy bar toss generate quite a bit of disruption for such classes. Once again, I believe the parent, the teachers, the principals should agree to require the child to accept responsibility equal to the task of proper behavior in all classes at school without fail. To do anything less is to treat your child like an idiot.
• United States
12 Dec 06
I am with you i got iss because i had a soda granet the AP told me at times i cant have it but somethings are so small and should not be bothered with. I do think they should call the parent everytime a disciplane action is taken that is what my school did. my school was stricked but right after i get out of there what happens they get ride of all the rules they got on to me about man go figer.
@ryan444 (207)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Nope, kids should bring this issue to their parents attention. They need to learn to face up to their actions. Refferal's don't work either. Plain detentions and saturday schools do.
• United States
12 Dec 06
Having worked as discipline secretary for our local high school we had quite a path beaten to the office of students who were sent there for disciplinary action. The teacher would write a discipline slip on the student and leave it on the counter for the administration to view. The administration would decide what action to take and write it on the discipline slip. It would then be turned over to me. I would enter the information into the system and a copy went in the student's file and a copy was mailed home to the parent. If the student was assigned detention, I would call the home and inform the parents of when and how long it would be. There were times when I would have to leave a message. I am sure that the student was often home before the parent and grabbed the letter and erased the answering machine. The student was allowed to make up missed work. The grade received was reflective of the work turned in.