Can you be friends with an ex?
By ardnas69
@ardnas69 (174)
United States
December 11, 2006 12:43pm CST
Some people can manage to be friends with ex boyfriends or an ex husband. I wouldnt say I am axactly friends with my ex husband, but I dont argue with him either. Of course i dont talk to him much because he doesnt keep in touch much and my daughter is 16. But she knows how he is and she has come to accept his ways. She has accepted that he is her father, but my husband who died three years ago, was her daddy.That was the man she called daddy. I never made her, but when my youngest was born she was five years old and decided to start calling him daddy so that her sister wouldnt call by his name. He loved her like his own child and as far as her real father goes,he has every opportunity to see her and has never been denied a chance to see her. He just doesnt. But for the sake of her, I still manage to be civil with him. As far as my husband and his ex wife goes,they would have killed each other if you would have put them in the same room. I try not to hold grudges because usually both parties have faults and break up because of those faults. I know I am not perfect by no means.
51 responses
@ardnas69 (174)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I dont exactly understand either. My husband was "bigger" in age as you call it but had no more education than me. The education level of a man or woman doesnt exactly mean they know more than the next person does. Everyone has different levels of education ,therefore meaning they have different levels of knowledge. My husband knew how to plant a garden, fix leaky sinks, change oil in a car,and build a fire in a fireplace. I do not know how to do any of these things but that doesnt make me dumb.I was more book smart than my husband.I knew more about math,he knew more about history. I know how to cook something that you probably dont and vice versa.That doesnt make either of us dumb. Get the point? Your statement just basically states the old saying"the older you get ,the wiser you get."(By the way,my husband is deceased)
@wyrdsister (584)
• Canada
12 Dec 06
Um, could you clarify that? I don't really understand what you mean by this. And how does it relate to the above issue?
~Wyrdsister
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I think that it's virtually impossible!! I have 3 ex's and I can't get along with any of them for more than a couple minutes at a time. Maybe it's me, but I don't think so...lol. They are all idiots! Possessive, controlling, idiots. I can really pick em.
Good Post! Hope everyone else has better luck than me! Good day!
@koltrone (264)
• United States
12 Dec 06
It depends how the relationship ended. If the other is a cheating partner or he left you for someone else then you will not end as friends because you think you were betrayed, you were lied. If the relationship ended because of indifferences that will most likely easier to be friends after. I am friends with my ex but we dont communicate daily, we exchange msgs on special ocassions, no big deal really.
@insomni4k (424)
• Indonesia
12 Dec 06
yup... half of my ex girl is my best friend, and some other they were married... and sometime if she got left by her husband she goes with me... :)
@wyrdsister (584)
• Canada
12 Dec 06
I believe you CAN be friends with an ex. That doesn't necessarily mean you can be friends with ALL of your exes, but it's possible to be friends with some. You both need to be respectful of each other and each other's new life.
There are some exes that I do not see any more, and do not have any plans to see them again. But I have several exes that I am still great friends with. One of them I count among my absolute best friends, and I also consider his wife one of my best friends. He and I were never ment to be as far as romance was concerned, but we were ment to be great friends. I think it would be a definite gap in my life if I'd lost his friendship.
Anyway, that's my contribution to the issue! Good luck with your relationship, and I hope everything works out well for you, your ex, and especially your children. :)
BB,
~Wyrdsister
@ardnas69 (174)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Thank you and I agree with your comments wholeheartedly. I have one ex I will never be friends with because I will always love him too much and he hurt me alot. If you like there are several of my blogs that tell stories of him and poems dedicated to him for the reading.Heartbreak is my middle name.Thanks for your comments and the well wishes.
@benoybose (155)
• India
12 Dec 06
Yes, ofcourse, why not? I am married 5 months ago. 5ysago I was having an affair and now me, my wife are in good friendly relationship with that girl. She is still un married.
@nontoxic (1062)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I tried being friends with an x boyfriend. Over a 10 year period we was together 8 1/2 years. He just was so annoying everytime I seen him. It was like he went out of his way to bug me. So we just could not be friends.
@ASoldiersAngel02 (633)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I am still friends with a few of my ex's. Of course we had pretty serious relationships but that doesnt change the fact that we can accept being just friends. It does bother my fiance a little bit but at the same time he understands we are just friends and that he is the only man I want in my life like that. My fiance is like your husband in that if you put him anywhere near his ex wife hed probably kill her
@blanksolid (1631)
• Spain
12 Dec 06
Yes, you can, depends on the each person, if you have loved her/his you should still loving her/his so there isnt nothing for not to be friends again, have a great day on mylot!
@killbot (58)
• Australia
12 Dec 06
Depends on the ex,and the circumstances.
My oldest childs father I can't even look at,I just can't stand him at all,but there were alot of things he did to me in that relationship.
The father of my 2 other children is my best mate,we have been friends since i was 10,and we havent let splitting up ruin our friendship at all.
@curieuxfg (1)
• Canada
12 Dec 06
I was lucky or unlucky to live both situation.
With ex-wife, it was hell. It took several years before we were able to talk about the kids. Every messages were coming throught the kids themselfs. Now the girls are adults, and once or twice a year we see each other special occasions and we are very correct.
With my other ex-partner, we did remain good friends. We see each other (sometime alone (other partners knowing of course), sometime with the new partners) on a regular basis.
Meybe the reason being that with time, I/we now have much more confidence in ourself and we feel there is no need to "kill" the other so we can respect ourself individually.
@prncesssly (1373)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I honestly believe that you cannot be friends with an ex. One of my ex's and I dated for 4 years and we saw each other pretty much every day, so we were really good friends. After we broke up we vowed to stay in touch and hang out etc. etc. I tried to be friends with him but then he just stopped responding to my calls and e-mails so i gave up. Now we exchange messages on myspace once in a blue moon and that's about the extent of our 'friendship'. Ah well! Life goes on right?
@micheller (1365)
• United States
12 Dec 06
i could be sociable with them, like if you see them say HI or have a little conversation with them. but i could never be good friends with an ex. it would just be wierd.
@crystal8577 (1466)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I have been & still am in some cases friends with my ex's. I am not cordial with my ex husband nor do I think I ever would be. The thought of even running into him is enough to make me stay inside at times.
@rakeshdas (427)
• India
12 Dec 06
No i will not ... frndship with x is the most complecated thing :-(
