I need help!!

Germany
December 15, 2006 4:32am CST
i'm totally confused, helpless.. following happened: i have met a man, about 6 months ago. we met on a dating-line, nothing for a relationsship, only for meeting some people. within a short time we had a privacy, that i never had known before. he had the same feelings. we talked about everything, wishes, problems, and also sexuality. he was waiting for his divorce (happend in october).we wrote twice a day via email, every evening we phoned (he is working hard as a policeman). we have meet together and i nearly was strucked by lightning. but i was hiding it. before a second date was true..he told me, that he has a relationsship with another woman, but feeling very unhappy and therefore he was not able to meet me once again. we didn't hear from another during the next 4 weeks. than i got a lot of messages, that he is missing me he couldn't explain his feelings. we startet again with many mails and phones, i was wistful with him... but hiding again. yesterday i cancelled a date with him, and wrote him, that i do not want to be the second one, he would have to think about his relationship and possible come back with a result. now, i'm considering; was it right? would i have better fighted about him? or would it be ok for me, to spend a good time with him in spite of his relationship? i don't know, what do you think abouth this dilemma?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
15 Dec 06
If he is still in a relationship and also wants one with you, that isn't good. Sounds to me like he wants his cake and eat it too. That isn't fair to you. You deserve better. I would have said the same to him. If he truly wants to be with you, he should not be with another person. Let me know how it turns out! : ) huggers....
• Germany
15 Dec 06
yes, you are right. but do not think, it is easy for him. i'm waitung until monday cause i promised to do it. he will talk to her at the weekend...
• United States
15 Dec 06
Good that you stick to your word. You are a good person.
@madonna143 (1737)
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
There is actually no dilemma my dear. Ask yourself if you really want to spend time with this guy. If you think he will make you happy then go for it. If you really have feeling for him then go for it. Life is too short. If you don't follow your heart then you might end up thinking what could have been. If he has other relationships then who knows he might just give it up if you get along well when you see each other. Good luck to you and more power.
• Germany
17 Dec 06
thx for your response. that it is... i'll think.. what could have been?? i have to decide tomorrow..and i think, i'll do...what my heart says to me just at that moment. have a nice day.
@msqtech (15074)
• United States
15 Dec 06
no fight I think you need to love and respect yourself first If you are considering a relationship with someone who wont respect you then dont bother with him. I was lonely but found my new love and am now happy just keep looking til you find the right one. Good Luck and God Bless
• Germany
15 Dec 06
thanks for you comment and you good wishes. a bad fight is nothing for my, never want to hurt anyone.
• United States
15 Dec 06
I have a rule of thumb... I'm second best to NOBODY when it comes to my men! I take nobody's sloppy seconds and play 2nd fiddle to no other woman. You make a choice, 1 or the other and I think ALL women deserve that. As do all men!
@bacedone (430)
• Italy
15 Dec 06
start to be the second one, after try to get the firsth place"!
@msqtech (15074)
• United States
15 Dec 06
not right I dont agree dont play second fiddle