All people who are depressed are just self absorbed and need to get over.

United States
December 16, 2006 11:42am CST
Now, lets think about this before you reply. I know it has been said that brain chemical inbalance can cause depression and even genetics. But can it not all be cured with a little less selfishness. To sit around all day and think "woe is me". *I* lost my job, *My* wife left me, *I* lost my husband, *I* feel so guilty. I mean give it a rest. There are tons of people who have had bad childhoods and just terrible lives in general but they don't just give up. Depressed people need to stop for one second and think about someone other than themselves. Like the people they are affecting for one.They put thier families through hell because they can'y cope with thier life. Like I said it's just selfish.
14 people like this
78 responses
• Canada
16 Dec 06
So you really think that psychiatrists and doctors are all just making it up when they study mood disorders do you? It's all just a matter of will power and that people just need to buck up and put on a happy face and that they can overcome depression? Let me tell you something sweetheart, that kind of thinking is so dangerous that it can actually KLLL people. I had a cousin who was 2 years old than me who was clinically depressed and was supposed to be taking anti-depressants but he didn't like them becaus of the stigma associated with depression, created by people like you. One night he took a walk on a bridge in Vancouver 2 years ago, and he jumped off. So you just tell yourself whatever it is that *you* need to to get by in life, but don't even think that you are in any position to proscribe to others how to cope with a medical condition that you obviously have no background knowledge or training in. And where it's clear that you have not studied a damn thing about, Clinical depression is real, it is common and it kills people. When people have that chemical imbalance in their brain they are hot capable of thinking rationally because they do not percieve the world rationally. It's got nothing to do with being "selfish". It's a disease like any other that is easily treated with medication like any other. If a diabetic went into a coma every once in a while because their blood sugar levels got out of whack would you consider THAT to be selfish too?
• United States
16 Dec 06
Well I am sorry to hear about your cousin I still haven't changed my opinion however. I don't know his situation but you have to wonder what he was thinking that made him so depressed. As far as the diabetic goes can't this complication be controlled with the right diet. Does someone just go into a coma all of the sudden with out first doing something to cause it. Is it genetic. I really don't know?
• United States
16 Dec 06
Good comment, shmoodles. I agree with you. I used to have depression myself. When you have Depression, you do not wallow in yourself. Things get to you easier. It IS a disease that kills people. A depressed person in my high school killed himself 2 years ago tomorrow. I am not going to go around and say that killing yourself is right, because it is not, but he was diseased. You have absolutely no idea what depression does to people. You can't just go around and say that they can get out of it. It is not that easy. That is so ignorant and so rude. People that have depression are not selfish. They don't lay in bed and say "Woe is me". They are vegetables. I'm fuming right now, because of this insensitive person, that I can't word my explanation right.
6 people like this
• Canada
16 Dec 06
You are a scientologist aren't you? -- It can all be controlled with diet, and vitamins right? -- Admit it. I can spot you guys from like a mile a way. Guess what baby, you just flunked. You've been spotted out as a clam.
5 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
16 Dec 06
this sort of question really annoys me. Depression is one of the most serious mental disorders on the planet, we still do not fully understand what causes it but we do know it is a debilitating condition that needs medical care not patronising. If it could all be cured by snapping out of it, pulling ourselves together or by stop being so selfish it would have been cured years ago. I do wish people would go and learn something about their subject before opening discussions like this
6 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I agree 100% I've suffered from depression for pretty much my entire life but have only been on meds for 2 yrs now..I can honestly say that its NOT easy to deal with depression let alone severe depression...and why is it ppl actually are shallow enough to beleive that we ENJOY IT....do you think we LIKE living in that mental state? And as for burdening our family and friends well hell try living in our shoes just for one day and all the things that run through our minds, the mental/emotional and physical pain of it all...THEN coem back and b!tch about it
7 people like this
• China
17 Dec 06
Thank you! I am so glad you said this! I wanted to say the same thing, so I am glad I read this first before going completely berserk on the poster here! For the poster of this discussion: Perhaps you should enlighten yourself on the facts and affects of depression before writing something as ignorant as this post. There is so much more that can be said...but really...what is the point? There are some other great comments here that say exactly what is on my mind.
2 people like this
@dlucia (208)
• United States
16 Dec 06
First of all, depression IS A DISEASE, just like any other. It kills people, and its not something you can just take a pill for and it goes away. I have depression, have had it for several years, and I DONT sit and wallow in self pity like you seem to think depressed people do all day. I work, i get out and have to stay on medication to treat it. I also have a parent who has heart problems that I help as well. So to stereotype depressed people as selfish dweebs that do nothing all day but whine is STUPID! You have no idea how this affects people, just the stuff you see on tv obviously. Before you post on a topic, GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT FIRST.
4 people like this
• Canada
16 Dec 06
you've got me depressed just reading your posting :(
3 people like this
• United States
16 Dec 06
If I know nothing about it and you know so much why don't you enlighten me. Tell me why I am wrong. Don't just come here and give a half a$$ response.
@rawpoet (2047)
• United States
17 Dec 06
CheckNitout, if you graduated high school, it would shock the heck out of me.
• United States
31 Dec 06
This is a discussion I started 3 weeks ago. I am adding this comment to let all the people who keep responding know before they get really mad that I no longer feel this way. You can read ahead and see how it progressed or go ahead and leave a comment. I know alot of people don't read all the way through the posts and the revelation didn't occur until page 7. Please feel free to read it and the rest of my responses. I think I started having a change of heart around page 5. I am sorry for the insensative remarks and am freatful for all the knowledge I have gained.
@Logodae (31)
• United States
17 Dec 06
CheckNitout, Let me guess... someone in your family is depressed? I'm sorry you're suffering because of their mental illness. Unfortunately, depressed people can't just "cure" themselves by thinking of people who have it worse. You asked someone to "enlighten" you instead of just telling you you're wrong, so here's my story: I became increasingly depressed over the past year. Some bad things happened, but I knew that I was sadder than I should be. I knew I was depressed... but that didn't make me feel any less miserable. In fact, *nothing* made me feel any less miserable. Except, ultimately, antidepressants. Yes, while I was depressed I thought about the "bad things" in my life. But that didn't make me depressed... I thought about them BECAUSE I was depressed. Once I was taking medication, I did in fact "get over it." Because depression is an ILLNESS, not just a mood. Is your family member (or whoever) seeing a psychiatrist? Taking medication? If so, how long have they been on it? It does take a while to "kick in," but if it's been more than a month or two, it's probably time to try another kind -- not every medication works for everyone.
• United States
17 Dec 06
Thank you for this post, I did discuss my specific situation on page 7 if you wanna check it out. I will try to do what I can for this person, I realize I may actually been making his situation worse by not aknowledging that he truely has a medical issue. Any suggestions are appreciated.
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
16 Dec 06
Your words are very upsetting to me right now. I suffer from bipolar which means I have both episodes of depressions and manic. Manic means you are really high. I have shown symtoms of it since I was 17 and was diagnosed 5 years ago after a sucide attempt. What drove me to the attempt, I was swinging between depression and manic so fast I didn't know where I stood. Right now I am in a depressive state. I take all my medications that my pshchiatrists prescribes but sometimes I still get depressed or manic. I have to wonder if you don't know the difference between clincal depression and situational depression. Situational depression is where someone may feel depressed for a day or two even up too a couple of weeks. If continues on for a month then it is clincial depression. You need to see a therapist or a doctor. I don't think I am being selfish because I am depressed right now. I try and function the best I can. I am very tired and experience alot of physical pain due to the depression but I still grocery shop, cook for my kids and other things. Yes I have been hospitalized 4 times in the past 5 years but that was very neccessary at the time as I was extremely depressed. There is a genetic link to depression and bipolar. So most days I don't sit around saying woe is me but there are days I feel pretty darn down. I think you need to do some research on mental illness. Being able to tell people that you suffer from a mental illness is hard enough but with people with attitudes like yours it makes it even harder. I am very sorry you feel the way you do and I hope that you never suffer from depression. I don't know if you have kids but alot of women suffer from post partum depression after they have kids, so that is something that could also be in your future. Brooke Shields was very forthcoming with her struggle with it.
@nicky35 (748)
19 Dec 06
well i hope she does get depression beacause then she would beleive that we cant just snap out of it.shes a fool
1 person likes this
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
16 Dec 06
And your medical degree comes from where exactly?
@dip_cool (411)
• India
16 Dec 06
well depression is not such a small thing that it can be cured with being less selfish.it sometimes takes the life of its victims too.its not very easy to forget the thing which is making you depressed cause often such things are of immense importance in the victims life.ista not so easy shedding that thought just like that. but it will be a good thing if people can really treat their problems like that and if thinks your way and there would be much more happy people in the world.
@abhisree (521)
• India
16 Dec 06
well as u said people must think that they have better things to do in life but the sad thing is that u do not realize that no one does it to gain attention or for fun. its a mental abnormality caused by trauma and people get depressed when they can not cpe up with the trauma. so instead of calling them selfish learn to put yourself in other's shoes and have compassion for them.
• Canada
17 Dec 06
One more quick note - she also projects. She writes about the selifishness of "depressed people" in her original and subsequent posts. But this is text-book projection for her own behavior, coupled with the narcisissim... Heck, I'd say this lady has borderline personality disorder, If I were to be irresponsible enough to make a diagnoses of somebody I've never met and even though I have no degree in counselling. Just I note the total and complete lack of empathy and callous disregard for the feeling of othrs, even when confronted in the strongest possible terms about the offensiveness of her comments. She still sticks to her holier-than-thou personae, which I think is a cheap fascade for her attention seeking behavior. Seriously - people , read her previous posts and then compare them with this one. She wanted to provoke this kind of outrage in others. Not because she actually cares about depressed people or their families, not because she wants a genuine discussion (these would be valid reasons to post) - but simply because nobody was responding to her when she was not posting offensive trolling stuff.
2 people like this
@Echo123 (155)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I'm going to assume you have yet to meet a situation in your life that has kicked you to the ground. Some depression is situational and I am more than willing to allow someone who has lost a spouse or child to deather wallow in a dark room for as long as they like. Life can be hard and emotions are only so resiliant. Other people do indeed have a chemical imbalance. There are people who tell htemsleves it is ok, they are fine, I want to be happy, ...but chemically it is close to imposible for their seratonin levels to secrete at normal levels in thier brain. Is that them being selfish? How foolish to even assume that is the case.
• Canada
17 Dec 06
Exactly. Feeling sad about nothing in particular and for no reason. The only constant becomes knowing the next day will be more of the same. That's the depression I know all too well. It is a real hindrance when there is something you do want to do yet your mind just doesn't want to cooperate nor concentrate long enough. That's the reality of absent serotonin.
1 person likes this
@LovingIt (5398)
• United States
16 Dec 06
You obviously know nothing about depression. Depression isn't always about something that happened to someone. Depression doesn't even have a reason much of the time. It just hits! When it first hit me, nothing bad had happened in my life, nothing bad was going on. There was no reason for it. I was not self absorbed about anything. So what was I supposed to get over? Someone that is truly clinically depressed can not just get over it. Someone with true depression needs help from a mental help professional -- they may need medication or therapy or both, but the very last thing that they need is to be told to get over it.
• United States
16 Dec 06
How dare you give such a statement! I am bipolar and I have no desire to be depressed when I am. If I had a choice I wouldn't be I find you to be very selfish by not even trying to understand the disease. Educate yourself before you post on something you know nothing about.
3 people like this
@emarie (5451)
• United States
16 Dec 06
well, let me ask you this question....Have YOU ever been depressed before? i mean there are different stages of depression, some like you say, are just cured by talking it out and just getting over it..those are simpler stage. they range from that to the sever which means the chemical inbalace in your brain. people who are depressed look at the world differently then others. they don't always think about themselves. some people who are depressed often think that the world is judging them. that no matter how much the work or how much they try, nothing will help them. i went into a slight depression because things were comming at me from all sides. i was spreading myself too thin, trying to please everyone around me and that caused me to NOT think about myself, neglect myself because everytime i TRIED to take some time to make myself happy, i would have other pushing me down saying i needed to help them....unless you felt depression, its hard to understand why people can't get out.
2 people like this
@nicky35 (748)
16 Dec 06
i know exactly what you feel.she is an ignorant fool and it dosent matter what we say coss her mind is made up
2 people like this
@jess_meow (229)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I was diagnosed with depression when I was about nine or so. That's about the same time my parents were going through a divorce. It wasn't anything bad, just a long time in divorce court to get everything settled. However, my parents noticed that the sudden changes were affecting me severely. From what I can remember, I felt trapped in a whirlwind and couldn't get it to stop. I got therapy, and with help, I was able to live a normal life, most of the time. The thing is, depressed persons know there's something wrong with them, but they just don't know how to make the depression stop. For me, I try to make up for my depressed days by helping out my family and friends, like getting my brother to and from school (the brat!), and lending a good ear for my frinds troubles. Quite frankly, I do feel a bit selfish in the aftermath of the days when I just can't get out of bed because the thought of getting up is just too much. I'm not going to let those days become everyday life, I want to be more than my disease.
• United States
16 Dec 06
Thanks for you honest and personal response. I'm glad you aren't just letting it overcome you.
@shob2201 (620)
• India
16 Dec 06
Well sorry but even 'I' feel depressed. And zi feel you are right to some extent. We are selfish. Te root of all the problems is expectations. We expect so much from everyone around us. Yes, we all need to get over this!
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
17 Dec 06
But we are not selfish at all why do you think we are selfish this discussion is selfish as it is condeming People with an Illness ok so this Person is very lucky not to suffer with it and I hope it stays that way but do not let this put you even more in doubt of yourself
@wyteduv (21)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I think that the root of depression is what's important to take a look at. Maybe people who are depressed aren't walking their path in life and they know it. It's hard to get excited about life when a person doesn't know what or where their place is in the planet. Something to think about.
• United States
16 Dec 06
who os not depressed nowadays? the problem is we do not face ourselves with the reason we do not face it
• United States
16 Dec 06
Depression is not something you can just "snap out of." It's caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals, along with other factors. Like any serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated.
2 people like this
@abg1988 (340)
• India
16 Dec 06
the mental stress can be even due to hereditery reasons
2 people like this
@missjackie (1358)
• Ypsilanti, Michigan
16 Dec 06
Excuse me, but you can't "cure" depression by being a little less selfish. You can't "cure" a chemical imbalance with being less selfish. That's just being a complete idiot on your part. You need psycho-therapy and medication to help a chemical imbalance. What goes on in your brain, can't be "cured" by just acting differently. Educate yourself before going out in public and sounding like an idiot next time.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Dec 06
Also, may I add that Depression is also genetic. My ancestors on both of my mom and dad's side of the family have been diagnosed with Depression. It can be a disease like any other. And I had contracted it. I was given anti-depressants my junior year in high school - I was only 13 years old! And I was so confused about it. My level of Depression might not have been very high because I'm a happier person now, but I could be at the risk of Post-Partum Depression. Anything can change at the drop of a hat.
2 people like this