would you tolerate an unfaithful partner?

@micheller (1365)
United States
December 19, 2006 2:03pm CST
Say that you partner cheated on you. Would you be willing in some way to work things out with them and take them back eventually. In my opinion I do not tolerate cheating at ALL. I do not like people who do it and I would never take my boyfriend back or even try to work things out if he cheated on me. I go with they saying, once a cheater always a cheater. Yeah there may be a handful of people who would change and not cheat anymore but most probably the majority will just do it again because they know you forgave them the first time and will expect you to keep forgiving them. What is your opinion on this?
1 person likes this
8 responses
• United States
9 Jan 07
It is a difficult choice to forgive someone for infidelity. We would love to be the only person that another is ever with for the rest of his/her life. There are relationships where that does happen. But, more so the opposite. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting is another. In order for a relationship to heal after such a hurtful event, there must be a healing period. Rebuilding of trust. Open and honest conversations. Faith. I once told someone this....I will forgive, but I will never forget.
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• United States
9 Jan 07
Once is a mistake, repeatedness a habit.
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@micheller (1365)
• United States
10 Jan 07
i'm glad for you that you have the strength to forgive for something like that. I would just always wonder if there would be a second time, since he broke a promise the first time. that's the reason I probably couldn't take my boyfriend back if he ever was unfaithful.
• United States
22 Jan 07
Well I've had an unfaithful partner. For the sake of the kids, I gave him another chance. For one month, he was good but I could not forget what he did. I could not trust him. I was continually thinking of where he was. Then he cheated again, and he wouldn't leave. One day after work I locked all the doors and even the gate to my house. He was throwing a fit outside because I wouldn't let him in, I threw all this stuff out to him and he left. I don't regret doing that. Up to this day, 6 years later, he's jumping from woman to another. I deserve better.
1 person likes this
• New Zealand
22 Jan 07
Attagirl. Throwing out the man was a good thing. You have in fact rid yourself of something that was probably excess baggage in the first instance.
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@gigarange (1165)
• United States
10 Jan 07
People sometimes have bad choices and commit mistakes. If I would be cheated, I would probably not be able to accept the person back because it is very hard to regain that TRUST again. And aside from that, most people have repetetive habits and people don't usually change unless something VERY remarkable that gives strong impact happens. But that happens very rarely.
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@micheller (1365)
• United States
10 Jan 07
yes this is very true.
• United States
10 Jan 07
I tried that before and that lead me to being cheated on over and over by the same person. After we broke up I vowed that I would not tolerate it anymore. If anyone cheats on me this time, i'm gone.
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@micheller (1365)
• United States
10 Jan 07
and that's the best thing to do is to leave, just like i said, once you forgive them they will think you will keep forgiving them. If they was really worried about how it would make you feel then they wouldn't have done it in the first place, but by cheating, obvisously, they don't care.
@crazynurse (7484)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I would not be able to take my husband back should he be unfaithful to our marriage. The marriage vows stated that we would be faithful to each other and that is what I expect us both to be! I know myself well enough to know that if I took him back, I would always wonder if there would be a next time. I dont' know that I would ever trust him 100% and without trust, there is no relationship!
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@micheller (1365)
• United States
10 Jan 07
that is exactly how i feel.
@briyut (4)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I wonder if most of the people who say that they would never forgive someone for cheating has ever been cheated on. The only reason I say that is because I used to say that...atleast until my husband cheated. Then it was a whole new ballgame. I think it's up to the person. As for me...we haven't worked things out, but I think I could forgive him.
@micheller (1365)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Yes, I actually have been cheated on and was really hurt by it. I just wouldn't be able to live with the person everyday knowing what he did. Every time I would look at him would remind me of what he did.
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I would never forgive my boyfriend/husband for cheating, and I would never take him back. To me, cheating and physical abuse are unforgivable, and I do not believe that these types of people can or will change. I firmly believe that if you do not want to be in a relationship that you should be honest with yourself and your partner and break up. Not to say that people should divorce on a whim; of course I encourage marriage counselling in an attempt to reconcile differences- but only if no adultery has been committed.
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@micheller (1365)
• United States
10 Jan 07
i agree.
@srhelmer (7033)
• Beaver Dam, Wisconsin
19 Dec 06
Cheating is the one thing I don't think I would ever be able to forgive my wife for. I have no problem with her flirting as long as it doesn't go beyond that.
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@micheller (1365)
• United States
19 Dec 06
i don't think flirting is acceptable neither. i think that it is okay to look at someone and say they are pretty are handsome but you shouldn't flirt or have any physical contact with the person. like they saying, you can look but don't touch!