my beautiful stepkids. need help with discipline.

How old is the girl, generally kids entering teens or teenagers behave that way and it has nothing to do with being step or not. Kids do not obey their parents all the time especially if it sounds like order to them. Do not spank them but sit down with her some night and ask her what is bothering her, if she does not like you and why. Let her talk and say whatever she wants to say mand do not react to it but try and understand and respect her point of view. Do not justify your acts either, do not tell her she is right if she says she hates you, just tell her you are hurt by what she said nd you like her like your daughter may be she will come around. Just see why she resents you and try to focus on that while talking to her and do not make it a personal issue. Help her cope up and you will get results very soon.

A good spanking is always very effective, i'm a step dad and i use it effectively. a further step would be put her on your lap pull down her panties and spank her, believe you me, she'll think ten times before defying you the next time. best of luck.

i think spanking is the one of the ways you can make her leave her rudeness behind. if you dont want to, then try and punish her, even if it hurts, and take away her things, so she can learn her lesson.

A good way to do it right here. Buy the other 2 kids stuff that listen and don't get here anything. See how she feels about that. Tell here why you are doing it and maybe she'll stratin up.

Yep I know what 7 year olds are like. She is still pushing her boundaries with you. Maybe you and the mother should get together and lay the rules down as a group make her understand consequences if her bahavours remain.

teaching good is nothing wrong if they are acting smarter then do it

I have heard of this happening with the step mother, trying to discipline the children and tell them what to do, The child has the attitude they "You arent my mother, i dont have to listen to you" Maybe you could get her father (your husband) to speak to her about it. It is very hard coming into a ready made family, cause the kids always see you as an outsider!

Being a step parent can be one of the biggest challenges and it sounds like you are holding it all together otherwise. Maybe you can just give her some time to adjust? Every kid reacts differently and she may be testing you to see if you will really be there for her. On the other hand, you may want to talk to your wife about talking to her about respecting you. You may not be the best person to discipline her, but your wife has full authority to work with her to stop the comments and such

The only advice I can give is to be stubborn enough to not let the kid wreck your marriage. I've been in that boat for years. My youngest stepson has come a LONG way in the aspect of behavior and showing respect. As long as I let him think that listening to me is a choice, we get along fine. Try telling it like it is: I love you, but I don't have to tolerate your crap and if you don't like it, pack it up and move back in with your mom (well, probably dad in your case). Telling it like it is in other situations as well, in a calm and friend-like voice can be helpful too. i.e. It's your life, this is what I think you should do because I've been your age and in your shoes, etc. But ultimately, it's your life to screw up, so have at it. My kid now does his homework, chores (dishes is still a struggle, so we share that one), etc. and is more willing to compromise. Giving a little with kids can often get you a lot. Don't make your wife run interference either, that will cost you even more respect in the longrun. Sometimes ya just got grit your teeth and go for a drive, cool off and think over your next move. I've been a stepmom to 4 boys and 1 girl (we lost our daughter 3 years ago) for 13 years now. Never had any problems out of any of them except the "baby". Good luck and hold on tight, it's a bumpy ride.

how can i help with you?

be consistent. if you're mad show them that you are not pleased with what they do. do not give extra attention on her just because you are trying to win her heart. treat her the way you treat the other siblings. when she did something good reward her the way you reward the others. if she did something wrong correct her and stay cool. dont shout at her. if you are really mad just shut up talk to her when anger subsides in this way you could earn her respect and eventually her love

Does their Mom stand with you when you tell the little girl what to do? Maybe it would help if she reinforced your authority. She should have respect for you. I am glad I have no stepkids. I don't think I could deal with it.

I do think you should spank that kid. But not to the extent of really hurting her, you just need to show that you should be disciplining her the hard way if she really deserve a punishment.

I suggest you to know her very well. Know her feelings, her sensitivity, her beliefs and previews in life. I don't know how you could do it but it's esssential to know that person first. Then put yourself into her situation for you to understand why she acts like that. Maybe this tip would help. Also, take into consideration reverse psychology. Maybe it would work.

It's hard for a step dad to know what to do exactly. I have only one suggestion: Talk to her. She has to understand that you are her dad, like it or not, and that you love her. So, she needs to behave nicely. Maybe this is her way to keep you always in alert and busy with her. Maybe she asks for more attention.

Well tell your other kids to make her understand If you try to approach her she will prolly ignore you and will be rude but then maybe if others try then it might work out well

I would never resort to spanking she is mst likely doing this because she knows your not her real dad.my advice is be firm with her but do not yell and be consistant with her let her know that you mean bussiness she will come to listen to you.

she needs to realize that you are an authority figure to her, and you must do your best to show her that. She thinks she can walk all over you because "your not her mom" but in realization, you are a big part of her life now, and she has to learn to respect you and your wishes.

You should try getting more involved with her and join her in with your life a little more. She just needs some attension, but if she takes advantage of it then do not give her it. Grounding works alot. Make her sit in a room with no TV or anything. Or make her do more jobs around the home. Also remove all allounces from her. Stop her seeing her freinds after school and make her feel small, Use Psycology tricks on her. Tell her to grow up and start acting her age, By the way how old is she ?

In my opinion, spanking is wrong and it doesn't make kids listen to their parents when they are spanked. What you should do is be firm with her when telling her to do something. Maybe even sit down and have a talk with her about the issue.