Fair or unfair?

Philippines
December 26, 2006 7:25am CST
my ex bf and i have a son..we broke up because we are always having an arguement...he is always jealous even if he should not be..and he is so dependent he would not even mind giving suport to our son as if he just cared about our relationship but he dont think of our son..when we broke up he is still expecting me to be back to him coz i have said that we should graduate first before we can get back to each other.........and when that time came...i realized that it will never work when i go back to him for i dont love him anymore...i now it sounds unfair to his part but what can i do that is the truth..i have said it to him what i feel...can u please tell me was it wrong to tell somebody the truth?
7 people like this
65 responses
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
26 Dec 06
Unfortunately people do change, and they "fall out of love". This happens a lot when young people fall in love. As they grow and change, different things become important to them, and they may find that their feelings have changed. I think that you have done the right thing. He may be hurting, but at least you have been totally honest with him. It would hurt him more if you lied and played games with him. It sounds as if you handled this in a mature and responsible manner. Now stop being so hard on yourself! You did the right thing for both of you. The most important thing is that you realized that you would not be happy in a long-term relationship with him, and you are willing to go through some rough times in search of true happiness- you are being true to yourself. I'm sure that you love your son and will encourage your ex to play a role in his life as his father. In this respect, you and your ex will always be connected, and you will need to find a way to make that work out for your son's sake. But staying in a loveless relationship is not going to do any good for your son. He needs to grow up realizing the realities of life, and sometimes parents do split up... I hope that you're pursuing getting financial assistance for your son from your ex. Good Luck, and Stay Strong!
@smacksman (6072)
26 Dec 06
Nothing wrong in telling the truth but sometimes the truth needs to be wrapped in something sweet to take away the bitterness of life. It sounds to me that you would do best to make up for your childs sake. Love is something that can grow over time.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 06
I disagree. You should be happy. You don;t have to go back to him just because of your son. Why be in a relationship where you and the boys father can't get along. It's not good for either of you and it's not good for you son.
@MntlWard (880)
• United States
26 Dec 06
It's much better for a child to have one loving parent than two parents who hate each other. A child is not a good reason for people to stay together if they can't work out their differences.
@akinov (196)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
hi. i think u should be happy,, ask yourself??
• Romania
26 Dec 06
if you do not love him anymore...do not return to him....no one should live his/her's life next to a person that is not for him/her you should tell him to suport you in raising your son,with money or anything else....and try to find another person...life goes on even if it get's really difficult sometimes. best wishes
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 06
There are very rare cases where it is wrong to tell the truth but this wouldnt be one of em. If you dont love him and dont want to be with him it is better you tell him than lead him on.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 06
If you don't love him, you don't love him. It is better to be honest and not get into a relationship that you know you cannot be happy. in the long run it only causes more pain for everyone. It is never wrong to tell the truth and I am proud that you stood your ground. Your son comes first and it sounds like you are making wise choices early in his life. Don't ever deny his father time with him, unless he is not of good morals and values because you don't want your son to grow up that way.
1 person likes this
@myklj999 (49317)
• United States
26 Dec 06
It's never wrong to tell the truth, although sometimes it may hurt someones feelings; it's better than trying to live a lie.
1 person likes this
@pretjhan (11)
• Philippines
5 Jan 07
first thing first, be honest to yourself if you are saying that you are really not in love with him anymore then you are doing the right thing of telling him the truth,of course the truth is always painful....but after several years you'll thank yourself for telling your bf the truth....that's if you dont love him at all....just be sure on what you say and do and there will be no regrets.
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
You are young, beautiful and future is smiling at you, Get yourself learned, education will help you and your son to survive better, Ask for education and teach yourself to work hard for your son. You do not need to depend on men to provide for you and your kid. Be strong, be indipendent and learn some skills, there are a lot of institution in your community who helps in livelihood, ask around. Get out of the love spell and think of how you can support yourself and your child. Take men out for the moment. You can do a lot better.
• Italy
4 Jan 07
this is the question....
@lizabeth (666)
• United States
27 Dec 06
If you are not in love with him anymore I think you should move on. It is better for you and your child not to live in misery. Some people thinks its better for the parents to stay together just because of the child. I don't agree with that. The child will grow up to be resentful. Just follow your heart and do what you know is right.
@nhtpscd (1418)
• Australia
27 Dec 06
an innocent child - a stress free child
You have to look at what is best for your son not the adults. Is it good for the child to be around two parents who are always fighting? I think not. A child is no reason to get back together. I hope even if you don't get back together the Father does play an active role in the child's life though.
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
nothing is wrong about tellin somebody the truth, dont prolong it 'cause it would only hurt more on his part. be honest. its the best thing to do.
@gknott (936)
• United States
27 Dec 06
It is always better to tell the truth and especially in love, just try to be as peaceful as you can for you childs sake. God Bless and Good luck.
• India
27 Dec 06
if u r today happy than its fair
@Marie2473 (8517)
• Sweden
27 Dec 06
If u donĀ“t love him it would be unfait TO GO BACK. We all deserve to be loved so it is better for both of u to find the speciall one that u can love and whom loves you back.. To be in a relationship without love is horrible..
• India
27 Dec 06
it all depends on ur comfort.if u r fine with it let the relationship run.otherwise there is no point in taking chances as this is life
@jowie9 (20)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
there is nothing wrong in telling the truth to someone because whatever desicion that you make will greatly affect your life even if it can hurt someones feeling.
• India
27 Dec 06
its not true how can we believe.
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
I'm just wondering if you one of those whom I've sent my invitation to subscribe to MyLot. About your question, it is not wrong to tell the truth as long as the timing is right. Also, there is no escaping the truth so you and your ex-bf should face it together.
@yorb24 (2180)
• United States
27 Dec 06
There's nothing wrong with being honest. In the long run, he will realize it is for the better. If you aren't happy in the relationship, how can he be possible happy?? He's probably too hurt to see the light but eventually it will be for the best. He'll find somebody else and move on.