Foster Parents

United States
December 29, 2006 2:20pm CST
One of my co workers is a foster parent. They are short term, they normally only have have any child for no more then 3 weeks at a time. And my question is would you consider being a foster parent instead of having your own child. Or would you rather have your own children. Or even do both. I wouls love to do both. Being a foster parent and having children of your own opens a whole new cultural aspect for your own children. And then again being just a foster parent alone you have the gift to give every child a chance at life!
9 people like this
48 responses
@design (849)
• Ireland
29 Dec 06
Were hoping to start the ball rolling after the new year, We have three children and would love to open up our home to children who need a place to stay for what ever reason.It'll be great for the kids and will be a great feeling to help a child out for however long help is needed.All children deserve a chance of a loving and caring enviroment.
3 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Awwwe. Congrats!!!! I wish you good luck!!!! May you provide a safed and blessed home for any child who comes to stay with you. I totally agree with you that ever child deserves a chance to be in a loving and caring enviroment
2 people like this
@lulylove (1560)
• Brazil
30 Dec 06
I think that to have 3 children in house it is a great responsibility you must think well is this same that you want. However it is a pretty act of love stops with the humanity. I think that you she is one of the few pessos that think about the humanity without interests.
1 person likes this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
29 Dec 06
I have worked with kids who were living in foster homes. I found out that here in Colorado, there are people hwo make their LIVING being foster parents. It is how they get their house, food, everything. I wouldn't even try to be a foster parent, even part time. The kids have a lot of problems to deal with, and I don't have the patience to have a troubled child in my home. I was lucky with my sons in that they didn't develope horrendous problems, so I think I have done my parenting duty.
@design (849)
• Ireland
29 Dec 06
There is a simply case of a child coming from a one parent family and needing a place that's safe while their parent may be in hospital. They don't all come from a troubled home, and to be honest if that was the case wouldn't that child need a home and love and normality and to be shown that s/he can fit in and be part of a normal family!
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Exactly, very well said!
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Yes, that is how alot of people make a living by being foster parents, and unfortunalty there are people who are only in it for the money and that is horrible!!!! Also i'd like to add that yes you are lucky yo have children that have no problems. But not all foster children have problems, some do, but there are others that are from teen moms and other have been abandon, doesnt mean they have something physically, mentally or emotionaly wrong with them.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Dec 06
I would like to do both, I can't think of many things more rewarding than giving a child a chance at a wonderful and happy life. My only concern would be if the child would have some anger issues and cause trouble with my son.
• United States
30 Dec 06
Why would the child have anger issues?!?
2 people like this
@toonatoons (3737)
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
oh, yes. i think that would be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience, even if just for a short time. i think, this way, i'd be able to make a difference in the world.
• United States
30 Dec 06
I totally agree, thank you for your input
2 people like this
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
29 Dec 06
I would of loved to of been a foster parent but my heart would be broken everytime i had to give them back .Ihave five of my own children and look after up to ten others i get to see each day they go home to their parents but i know they will come back the following day i couldn`t stand giving the little angels back after three weeks
• United States
30 Dec 06
I know i feel the same way, but to think of the small impact i would have on their lives is something to cherish
2 people like this
• Australia
30 Dec 06
I greatly admire people who foster children. I personally know a few people who do this and know of the problems they face and the difficult situations encountered with many of them. One couple was robbed and had property vandalised. Another couple I know fosters babies and toddlers and I know the heartache they feel when they have to part with them, but they say this is alleviated by knowing they are going to good homes. I love working with children in club and camp ministry, but I don't think I could foster them.
• United States
30 Dec 06
They have expressed some regrets with giving back the younger ones...
1 person likes this
@Krisss (1231)
• Australia
30 Dec 06
I have a foster child with me at the moment, its the first and last time I will ever do it. I love the little boy dearly but I want to shake his mother to get some sense into her. I am just not cut out to deal with deadbeat parents. Lovely sweet little boys who just want some stability in their lives, anyday, but whacky parents who have their priorities totally screwed up scare me off.
@Krisss (1231)
• Australia
30 Dec 06
I was so worried about this little boy, he is only 6, It was easier to make the decision to take him and know he was safe and loved than it was just to worry about what was going to happen to him. He is just adorable but he wants his mum, unfortunatly Mum doesnt want him.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
OMG you have such courage!!!!!!!!!!! Im sorry about your lovely treasure's deadbeat parents :O( Its horrible, but just remember you have made an impact on this little boys life :O)
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
Im so sorry his mum doesnt want him, thats horrible, for a mother not to want their child! It really makes me sick. I wish you good luck
• Janesville, Wisconsin
30 Dec 06
Oh, I would never be a foster parent. Only because I would struggle with all the paper work, trainings, and documentation. I however do help my parents out with their 8 fosters kids, and I was one of 6 adopted by them. A much as I gripe about my parents. I do think they are wonderful people for as much as they talk on. They been doing this for 27 years, and both are in their late 50's about to be 60's .. It sure is awesome of them to keep at it even thought the age gap is getting more challenging. Not only that they were one of the first interracial foster homes in the State of Wisconsin, and My Mother was the president of Wisconsin State foster care system for a long time. The Parenting can be challenging, people say they would never turn back a child that is heartless, but truth is there really are some children that no matter what you do you can not help and they need higher level of help and care, with someone more qualified... So it is not being heartless but being honest with yourself, and the child. That you can not handle them, otherwise taking on you can not work with and there is no improvement is just as abusive.. So I am proud of parents who give it their best shots, really work at it... and in the end all the lives that been changed including my own. For a person who can handle the trainings, the documentations, the Strict rules of the foster care system, and they are strict I am talking about citations for a rip in the wall paper! In some cases.... If you can handle the strict rules, and are good at going by the book, as well as nurturing and loving at the right way and right pace. I say go for it! the World needs more real wonderful and awesome foster parents! ... I can't do it as I'd get confused but I sure love helping out where I can. - DNatureofDTrain
• United States
30 Dec 06
WOW!!!! Huge Kudos to your parents!!!!!!!!
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I would love to do both (actually, adopt and foster, not have my own most likely). I'd probably want to just foster for awhile (but longer term). Then probably would end up adopting one or two children I foster, and still keep fostering after that.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
I do not think i could be a foster parent because it would be very upsetting to let the child go so i think i would rather have my own kids because i can watch them grow up and dont have to worry about having to give them back at any given time.
• United States
29 Dec 06
I too also hate the thought of giving them back, but remember there will always be the joy of knowing that you helped those children out in life, and you had some how you made a great impact on their life. And my co workers wife said its the only downfall. Because they just got a 1 week old baby boy named Daniel and she will hate it when he goes to his adoptive parents in 3 weeks :( His bringing in this newborn is what sparked this discussion. He brought in a 6 month old he also has two days ago, but they have him until Saturday and she is going to her grandmother. Just seeing a 1 week old that was given up for adoption :( I know it happens all the time, but it just hit me hard when i saw the week old :O(
2 people like this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
30 Dec 06
My daughter is in foster care right now. It is not because I don't love her it is because I love her. We are having alot of conflict between the two of us and I suffer from bipolar. She suffers from depression and the stress makes it worse. The foster Mother at the house she is staying at is wonderful. It is a home for teenage girls and she keeps a tight rein on them. She is able to do more for my daughter right now than I can. It was a mutal decision between me, my daughter and her worker we would try this. I have to say maybe all foster homes are not this good but I am impressed with what I see so far. It is clean, they get good meals and are well displined. So anyone thinking of becoming a foster parent my hat is off to you and I can only hope you are as good as my daughters foster mother.
1 person likes this
@Krisss (1231)
• Australia
30 Dec 06
That is such a brave and unselfish decision you have made. How old is your daughter? She is lucky to have a mum who loves her so much she can put aside her own needs and send her to someone who can provide her with a safe home. All the best, I hope things improve for you
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Best of luck to your daughter. That is wonderful that you were not only able to make such a decision, but that she's in a great foster home.
• United States
30 Dec 06
I agree, good luck and i hope you and you daughter can maybe one day live together again. Good luck to you and your daughter
@akosi63 (331)
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
To foster on holiday seasons, maybe a good idea. But I think fostering for like 3 weeks will just make the kid aspire to have long time or real parents. Maybe as an adult, we feel like we can help them within the 3-week stay, making them feel really important. People are all different and that is acceptable. For me, it would be better to adopt a child, so you would be able to guide him/her all thru his/her life.
• United States
29 Dec 06
I agree on adopting children. My office manager just recently had a baby boy in September and she did say that this would be her only biological child, but they will be adopting 2 more kids. when their first is a little bit older. My co worker is only a short term foster parent to children under the age of 12 months.
2 people like this
@freesoul (3021)
• Egypt
30 Dec 06
I think I would do it if I had a family life, the thing here is that giving shelter and love for kids for a short term is great for the kids and would also makes me feel good but I prefer long term relationship as it will always break your heart to see them go as soon as you start to form a stronger pond with them.
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
29 Dec 06
Yes I would consider being a foster parent as my children have grown up now as I am an adopted child and I feel that children need the proper upbringing and love to help them have a future in front of them.
• United States
30 Dec 06
Good for you! If you ever become a foster parent i wish you good luck
2 people like this
@pendragon (3350)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I know I would get so attached to any baby I looked after, I'd love to do it,but I'd hate having to give them back!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
I know its hard to think that you have to give them back :O(
1 person likes this
@gknott (936)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I totally agree with you, being both is a great opportunity. If I couldn't have children I would surely have foster kids. My sister-inlaw has 2 boys now since August of this year they are 4 and 7. They are great kids, they get to see their real parents once a week for an hour, because they are trying to rehabilitate them. I pray for those children they are so loving and have to go through a lot.
• United States
30 Dec 06
I pray for them as well!!
1 person likes this
@jennifer611 (2514)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I've always wanted to be a foster parent. if I had a house with enough space it would be the first thing I did.. but here there is barely room for us.. I have three kids of my own but I would love to be a foster parent. I'd even love to offer the child or children a long term home. but I just dont have room here. one day hopefully I will be able to.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
Good luck to you, and i wish you good luck if you ever become a foster parent :O)
1 person likes this
@ukchriss (2097)
30 Dec 06
I have 3 of my own chrildren all grown and left home. I would love to be a foster parent and was going to be one. I went through all the training got to the point where I was going to meet a teenage girl... I then found out I had cancer, which I have recovered from. but I just dont have my full health or the energy to be one anymore.
• United States
30 Dec 06
Im so sorry about the cancer. I have had problems with my dad and cancer.
1 person likes this
30 Dec 06
I am lucky enough to have my own children and i've always said to my partner that i want to adopt children at some point in my life. Partly because my father was adopted but partly because i think children are such a gift and that even i biological child is blessing. Fostering has crossed my mind but i think people that foster are made of stonger stuff than i am. I realise i couldn't involve, love, and treat a child like it was my own to only give them up, whenever that time may be. I think foster parents are amazing people and they touch peoples lives. I couldnt have that sadness time after time, no matter how great the gift.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
What a wonderful way to thank Foster parentsfor their love and compassion
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
My Cousin and her Husband decided to be Foster parents. They usually have several children at once. They have a 15 year old they have had since the summer and a 16-18 month old they have had since at least August. They have a 5 year old that is their own and a new baby on the way. They love being Foster parents and are even hoping to adopt one of the kids they have right now. The kids they have now are good kids. I am glad that the kids have had a chance to experience our family.
• United States
30 Dec 06
Congrats to cousin and her hubby!!! I wish them good luck in live!