The pressure of options

I think there's a lot of pressure on both genders, in all sorts of contradictory areas: women are pressured to be powerful businesswomen by the "feminist" movement, whether or not that's what they want out of life, AND to have a happy healthy family, following the traditional stereotype. Men are similarly pressured into conforming to two different stereotypes by society: they're supposed to be "enlightened" "new men", but also conform to the machismo-driven stereotypes. It's lose-lose for both sexes, or at least for those who want to please society and conform. As with most things in life, we CAN choose to ignore what society thinks of us, decide what WE actually want and what's right for us as individuals, rather than listening to others' opinions (following what we're told we want, think and like is never going to make anyone happy). If people decided to be true to themselves, and stuff what other people think (life's too short not to be ourselves), then these pressures wouldn't exist, because no-one would care what these little narrow-minded groups of feminists and conservatives thought, as we'd all be too busy getting on with OUR lives, and it is up to us after all - no-one can make our decisions for us as to what we do, so we shouldn't let them make us think they know what's best for us. Only the individual knows what's best for them, and that's the individual!

hey, i know that some people can't cope with the competition byt still i will say that nothin is impossible in this world all u have to do is to muster up the courage for some work, everything can be achieved at right time. be focussed,move with time. don't think of future,think of present.

In his book Future Shock Alvin Toffler mentioned this kind of thing-- and that book was published more than 30 years ago! Even then he was talking about the stress and confusion that too many choices were causing people, and that was before the Internet, e-mail, phone trees, downsizing, outsourcing, etc.

I think the reason why we suffer from breakdowns is because we cannot handle the stress it has nothing to do with the options are out there.because personally society has made it that we have very few options especially if you are a mom trying to raise a family.no,i do not believe we have a sad and lonely future.I just think some people have a hard time coping with and dealing with stress it is called a mental disorder which alot of people have and do not realise it it is their nerves.

I am so pleased to see this discussion. I am an example of the confusion I guess. Nobody knows why transvestites get to be plagued by the need to dress as the opposite gender. It's very complex. During the years before COMPLETE self acceptance, there is a great deal of pain and confussion for the individual. Once self-acceptance is aquired, any pain and confussion that exists is for others to deal with. Just as for me; I accepted my need to escape the gender stereotyping, and now I am free of guilt and pain. I get stared at, I get criticised, but, you know what? I never felt so at home with myself. Perhaps some will say, it's mental illness, but I am actually more free to be myself, that the vast majority of "normal" folks, since I just don't care. lol A man can get great pleasure from ladies clothing, simply because it is a sensual experience that he has not been exposed to. Dressing in colours, also has a great effect on your state of mind. You want freedom? Break the stereotyping that society hangs on you. Good Luck for 2007 Happy New Yearssss to come. :)

The world may seem hectic and competitive but you can choose to go a different way. If one is having mental breakdowns or panic attacks, that is a sign that something is wrong in your life. If you bow to every whim that society demands, you surely have given up a life of your own. And your happiness along with it. The choice to work rather than have a family is a personal one. 'Just' being a mother is about the most fantastic choice you can make. I don't know about generations experiencing a sad lonely future; that is up to the person involved. If they feel that way, they have the power to change their lives. One can always choose a different path in life. Getting rid of all the distractions in your life gives you time to think about things and get your priorities sorted out. If a person decides to run around and bow to societies demands, they have only themselves to blame. Getting ahead in the rat race is a waste of time because you never can win the race. Do the things that bring you joy and happiness. Forget what society thinks...go your own way and get rid of the pills.

I think you are so right...with all the technology and the demands of work and family life..things have become stressful for many people. I think that things were much simplier in the old days...I would rather live back then...

I agree with you, there are a lot of decisions to be made everyday and so much competition, it is hard to get anywhere in life now, and I do believe that some people just don't know how to cope with it and that is why they suffer so many breakdowns. THe world needs to slow down a little and learn to relax.

Options certainly do have two sides to them! It is difficult for me to decide on things sometimes, and I tend to put off decisions until I've considered all the options, but that can be a good thing to, rather than only having on course to choose from

Wow, this is for sure a deep thought. I think the world has gradually become more hectic. Actually, it's not the world...it's the people running it. We've put so much focus on so many trivial things that we have to scrimp to get the important ones in. I feel like in the end, it is each person's choice to decide what happiness is. If it is having a family and being a stay at home mom, I think that is amazing! It's more than honorable. In fact, I am envious in a way of those who have that. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I've not had that privilege. But if God ever lets me...I wouldn't care if people thought I was "just" a mom. I'd just be honored to be THE only mom of my kids. So if that's your dream, run for it! And don't stop to think about what others think!

Dealing with ambition and competition is TOTALLY different from having too many options. There is no such thing as having too many options if you make your choices based on whar your desires are anand not what others think you should want. Most "breakdowns" happen when pressures from OTHER PEOPLES MANIPULATIONS become too much. That loss of control over ones choices and trying to please too many people stretch the psyche too thin. That is when something snaps. This does not describe what happens when someone's schizophrenia or other hidden mental illness suddenly flares up or rises to the surface. In those cases it is strctly brain chemistry that has created new and disturbing changes in perception. In either case, humans are not better off with stricter controls on their options. They are better off when they let others live as they choose, as long as it does no harm to others.

Hmm... I think we are really pressured by option, sometimes people tend to look at the point wwhere they want everything to be perfect in their lives so they try to focus more on other things such as making money etc... and they forget about that the time passes them by and regrets might rise up later.... :0)

yes it is also caused by stress.. stress is very bad..it can cause diseases its very important to prevent stress and keep it as low as possible cheers!

too much stress

first of all i would like tio say that this is a nice topic.that said i grew up[ with my grandmother most of the time.both of my parents worked and even on saturdays.so i misse dthem a lot.i do agree with you that nowdays it is not enough for one partner to work but both have to do so and it is not even enough to have jsut one job but also tyo have a second job at least part time like here at mylot.yeah the future generations are going to be very lonely and it sucks!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid http://www.vachss.com/help_text/latchkey_kids.html http://preteenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/latchkey.htm

This life was beautiful friend and each pressure must in the life happen remained how we responded to a problem in living, will be heavy we underwent the life if we think about that the life was difficult, because something that was undergone by us in living was a risk of the life, was someone who underwent this life was calm although he was undergoing the life that was pressed

Well there is a small story how to handle pressure and to make decisions. Once a person was given hot rice and curry to eat by a old lady. When he put hand in the middle his hand got hurt. The old lady told that when we put our hands in the middle of the problem we will get hurt. The best way to eat rice is to eat from the borders than the middle and then when we finish the rice of the side the rice at the middle will also get cold. Sameway in our life all our problems if we try to solve the problem at itself it might not be possible. The way to solve problem is to think from all the sides and slowly solving from side to side small smaler parts and then finally we will be able to solve the problem itself.

The pressures of option really can kill a person however one must be clear in his thinking and the logic behind each option selected.once this is done,never hesitate in taking any decission as sky is not going to fall by selecting any of the options.think that whatever happens will be for the good only and then, leave everything to god almighty.

Thats why i recomend to some people who are suffering from breakdown is to relax. Find time for yourself. Dont overdo it.

No I am sorry I do not think that the people that suffer from breakdowns and mental exhausion is that they have options, as most of the time it is not due to their own fault most of the time it is due to something that happened in their lives due to other people usually when they were growning up. But if someone has been there and got out of the dulldrums then they should be really the ones giving advice on this matter, as they have been there and know how to get out of it without popping pills or anything else that would affect their health.