Love me or leave me alone!!!
By ilvrshn
@ilvrshn (463)
United States
January 3, 2007 10:26pm CST
How long are you willing to be with someone in a relationship before you tell them to marry you or leave you alone? Are you willing to be in a committed relationship, doing everything that married couples so anyway for 7 plus years.
I know I am going to get people fussing at me but I can't help it. I dont see how some people I know can be with their mate for 9 years, 7 years and so on and they are not even married. That thing with Oprah and Steadman being boyfriend and girlfriend for 20 + years is RIDICULOUS!
How do you feel about these long, dragged out relationships? You think you will tell someone to love you or leave you alone?
6 people like this
74 responses
@aryangentleman (1122)
• India
4 Jan 07
I dont care what Oprah and Steadman doing in last 20 years of their relationship but one thing I am sure about it, Marriage is an ultimate commitment for some one whom you love. And dragging relationship for years and still fearing to get married tells lots about lack of 100% commitment. I am no way going to clap for this kind of long lasting boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
3 people like this
@aryangentleman (1122)
• India
4 Jan 07
well i think some one is missing a point...marriage and a relaionship cant be a same thing.
1 person likes this
@tuheen2013 (70)
• India
4 Jan 07
hey if someone is ur best friend ,is it necessary that everyman in society know that ? i think no.same is the case with marriage
1 person likes this
@katisaurus (1038)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
I think if there's committment to the relationship and you love eachother enough. Marriage isn't really a big thing. You don't need a piece of paper and some rings to prove you love someone, or want to spend the rest of your life with them. Although it is a nice feeling to know you're in a forever sort of thing. I'd wait as long as I needed to wait. As long as I'm with the one I love and we're committed to eachother.
3 people like this
@infamousaunty (241)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Yes, but some folks need that piece of paper for whatever is their reason.
Some people like to have it for monetary reasons.
Other people like to have it because it keeps things nice anf official.
Then there are people for whom the sanctity of marriage is so much so that it requires that silly piece of paper to make it all just right. And this is fine.
I do, however, agree with the poster in her/his thinking that there are couples who are committed to one another, so much so that they should just get legally married. Like there is nothing wrong with being committed to one another and having that much trust in another human being, there also are people who have been hurt in the past whose entire sense of well being hinges on if whether or not there is a signature on a marriage
certificate which bears their name.
I have been married for about 17 years now, and truly the piece of paper DOES matter, especially when there are kids involved.
Love is wonderfully groovy and all, but there is nothing like legality to keep one's okole nicely covered by the letter of the law!
Just my opinion
AUNTY
@cisco1 (539)
• United States
4 Jan 07
well to me that is along time but at the same time marriage shouldnt be force upon. maybe hes not ready to have a "wife" even though you two are doing what married couples does. Talk to him and see whats wrong. maybe u need to walk away from him and find someone else.
2 people like this
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I don't put much stock in marriage. Why do I need a piece of paper to prove I love someone? Why do I need the government or some church official to pat me on the head and say 'yup, now it's proven you two want to spend your life together!'? If I love someone and they love me and we want to tie our life together, why do we have to make a big show of it by getting married? It's expensive, it's time consuming, and it's making a spectacle of something that I feel should be private.
2 people like this
@Clairec23 (136)
• Ireland
4 Jan 07
I agree and I don't believe that getting married means that a couple is more in love or has a better relationship than a couple that isn't married. Too many people concentrate on the wedding day rather than the relationship afterwards anyway. Divorce rates tell me that marriage isn't necessarily a special thing. If a couple is really in love and committed to one another then what is a piece of paper going to add to the table? Maybe you should compare the likes of Oprah to Britney Spears, one has stayed with their partner for a huge length of time without getting married while the other has been married twice for very short periods of time. I know which relationship I would rather imitate...
1 person likes this
@Mtushar87 (488)
• India
4 Jan 07
no i dont wanna any sort of love relationship with ny1 i just wanna live my life as a free bird..
2 people like this
@taytaycrys (16)
• United States
4 Jan 07
My fiancee and I just got engaged this Christmas but I am seriously not in any hurry to get married. The commitment we have to each other is enough I think. I don't feel that marriage is actually neccesary. I would not give him a time limit to marry me or I would leave him.
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
4 Jan 07
If I was in a relationship that long and the other person did not want to get married, I would end up ending the relationship or just be friends with that person. 7 years is too long to be with someone and not be at least engaged by then. I would propose to her after being together at least a year or two but no more than two years. Two people should spend at least a year together before getting married to make sure they are compatible and get along well.
@ilvrshn (463)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Yeah, I just feel that people should just to agree to be friends after awhile if you don't want to take the relationship to another level. Not saying that they have to get married but dang, how long are we going to be dating! Thanks for the comment!
1 person likes this
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
4 Jan 07
to me a marriage is just a certificate...a piece of paper....and a lot of money..
you can show your commitment and love by your actions and feelings towards your partner....
but you cant say that because someone chooses to not be married but live together as if they were, is rediculous...the same people may think marriage is rediculous.
i dont see why there is so much emphasis put on having to get married when all that should matter is the love between the 2 people....at least those not in a marriage have the freedom to leave...and to me that shows more committment than a marriage licence....a marriage is harder to get out of really and many stay because they dont believe in divorce....
i believe in ones own happiness and that we need to do what we feel is right in ourselves and not what others think should and should not happen
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I would never say marry me or leave...some ppl just dont want to get married and there is nothing wrong with that..from what i understand Oprah and Steadman much like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, are quite happily UNmarried..
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
4 Jan 07
and as its been mentioned I dont NEED the approval or certificate to define my feelings....I am married now mind you but if we'd never gotten married it wouldnt have been a big deal...the father of my kids and I had that attitude "we dont need a pc of paper to show we love each other"
I think marriage is more about a display rather than defining or proving commitment...hell just look at the divorce rate....ppl who are happily UNmarried seem to have far more success than those that jump into it after a few yrs...
1 person likes this
@angel_eyes88 (181)
• India
4 Jan 07
Well!! I agree with you. Couples just being in a relationship and not getting married for so many years is really senseless. May be it is because they dont trust each other and they cant stop living together as they do not want to hurt their partner. But, Honestly, I would never do that. I would not mind dating a guy for about 1 or 2 years and then get married.
1 person likes this
@jenvalenzuela (267)
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
I don't believe in long engagements... why not marry if you have the money and doing things just the same as those married couples? I fear these people are afraid of commiting themselves with their partners. Like how it is with OPRAH... i like her bigtime but what's with 20years of being girlfriends/boyfriends. I can't quite comprehend...
1 person likes this
@marryann (45)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
If there is true commitment, then why NOT get married? I just don't get that. I always said I'd want to be with someone for about 3 years and get married, but 5 would be definite. If you don't know by then, it's probably not meant to be. Some people don't want to because they think it'll "change" everything. As for 20 years with Oprah, no comment. It makes no sense to me.
1 person likes this
@khalid111 (186)
•
4 Jan 07
look you cant force someone to love you you just got to let it happen
1 person likes this
@Reviver (339)
• Romania
4 Jan 07
If I was in a relationship that long and the other person did not want to get married, I would end up ending the relationship or just be friends with that person. 7 years is too long to be with someone and not be at least engaged by then. I would propose to her after being together at least a year or two but no more than two years. Two people should spend at least a year together before getting married to make sure they are compatible and get along well.
1 person likes this
@Hamlet333 (724)
• Pakistan
4 Jan 07
relationship don't need any length of time and I don't think its our need to fulfil the relationship with our heart and soul.
I just need few meeting to take a decision.
1 person likes this
@killj0y (618)
• United States
4 Jan 07
well i've been with my fiancee since my junior year in highschool and i am a sophmore in college now, we don't plan on getting married until the year 2010! I think waiting to get married after you've got all your educational goals out of the way and are finanically stable is a really good idea, that way you are actually ready to settle down and start a family...but yeah Oprah is pretty well off, so i don't know what is keeping those two from tieing the knot. So in a nutshell i basically think it's okay to wait for marriage as long as it take so long as there is a legitimate reason as to why you are waiting. If the person is just not asking to marry you for not good reason then whats the point in the relationship?
@luv_kumar (27)
• India
4 Jan 07
i personally think that if we donk look upon other s than we will be more happy
love grows stronger day by day
1 person likes this
@Harendrakumarkiran (101)
• India
4 Jan 07
I believe in commited relationship as per my openion, you should have cpality to judge any one who is stading or near around you. suppose I like a girl who is so cute and I am eager to merry with her but that is not called "Love at first sight" this is infactuation. I have to think about my choice and her coice. we can be a good friend but not a couple. So some time this will long to say I love you or if your choice and her choice are ditto same then you can say "they made for each other".
