Parents and discipline

United States
January 4, 2007 8:27pm CST
Do you think some parents are to strict on their children? Are some parents to leanient? What do you consider to be to strict or not strict enough? Some parents seem to be way to overprotective. While others seem to just not have any rules at all. To you think over protectiveness is a good or bad thing? Can to much strictness cause your child to grow up being a sheltered child. How can a child learn from mistakes if they are never allowed to make any? Tell me what you think. What are you lines of discipline?
6 people like this
75 responses
@alchemistrx (2554)
• Philippines
5 Jan 07
We can be strict to them and let them know why there doing this and that. My parents were very stricy when I was growing most especially during my teenage years because they just want the best of everything for me.I do have to learn mistakes on my own too.Negative discipline would cause major problems on the child when he gets older.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response
• Indonesia
5 Jan 07
Discipline is a goog thing especially for the kids. It will teach them how to manage their future life. No rules at all can make kids do whatever they want, and its dangerous. They won't know which is good and which is bad. But become too strict to the kids will make them being a sheltered child. Let them explore things in their life looking for new experience, but put lines for them how far they can go...
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
5 Jan 07
Some parents are a tad too too strict and the byproduct of such Hitler principles is would be children who are wither fed up of your constant nagging and will not relent to what you say or they will rebel against you. On the other hand parents who are too lenient , the children are at times cheeky, mischievous or taken to extremes they are boisterous.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
Yes they can be. Thank you for your response
@sherinek (3321)
• United States
5 Jan 07
It is very difficult to be a parent. I am as a parent is so scared thinkin that my kids will not turn out to be good persons. So, I listen to a lot of discussions of doctors, I read a lot of books and I get advise from a lot of mature people and try to practice all the advise I get. I keep my fingers crossed.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
Yes it is a very scary process to be a parent. Thank you for your response.
• United States
5 Jan 07
There are more parents that are too harsh on their kids than parents that are too nice. Who has the right idea? Put it this way... If you did something that I felt was wrong, would you feel it is right that I not feed you? Would you like it if I hit you for coloring on the kitchen wall? As you can most likely tell, I am not a fan of aiming negativity toward kids in anyway. The results can be damaging.
• Australia
5 Jan 07
Negative discipline is always wrong, but there is nothing wrong with positive discipline. The aim of discipline is to mold a character. Lack of discipline destroys the character.
@riyasam (16567)
• India
5 Jan 07
i agree with you,cloud
@caper111 (163)
• Canada
5 Jan 07
My husband and I argue about this quite often. He thinks I am too easy on the kids and I think he is too hard. I'll admit I had a hard time letting go of my oldest daughter and realizing she is not a baby anymore. I still have a hard time standing by when she is struggling to something. But my husband has taught me that she has to try things on her own first. As for discipline, I think the punishment should fit the crime. But it varies from child to child. I believe what is right for one child might not be for another. When my daughter is being bad the worst punishment for her is to shake my head and tell her I am disappointed. Whereas my sister finds the only thing that works with her son is spanking.
• Australia
5 Jan 07
I do hope you do not let the children know that you and your husband differ. That is one of the biggest mistakes in bringing up children. Even if your do not differ in front of them, they can sometimes sense it.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Me and my mother argue about this. When she raised me she was very over protective and strict. I am easy on my kids and I probably should be more hard on them but my kids are pretty good kids over all. Thank you for your response
@getnbuy (1314)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Children need guidelines. They feel insecure and unwanted if they don't have any. These guidelines should be minimal. Only the things you feel necessary should be governed by rules. Anything regarding the child's safety or his family's safety should be of first importance. Then, rules of good conduct should be enforced. A child should always know ahead of time what the infraction is and what the consequences are so he can choose to disobey or not. I believe in spanking only if the infraction is life threatening- like running into the street. Time out is a better solution for most bad behavior. Time out should not be longer than 2 minutes for each year of age. These hints have been tried and found true by a 64 yr. old granny!
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thank you for your response. You have given very good point of views.
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I think that parents must balance discipline with allowing the child to grow and become his own person. Children need to be taught basic morals and the difference between right and wrong, and they should be disciplined for deviations from this. I don't believe in sheltering children from life itself; it's important to keep children safe, but you also have to let them experience life and make mistakes- that is how they will learn. Of course parents must be actively involved in their children's lives and be aware of what they do, who they see and talk with, where they go on the Internet, the TV they watch... The best thing that a parent can do for a child is to teach him to be a good person and to be able to stand on his own two feet.
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thank you for your response. I also agree that children should be taught morals and right from wrong. I also agree that children should be allowed to become their own person. Thank you for sharing with me.
@Persia (151)
• United States
6 Jan 07
i really think that some parents can be too strict b/c thats how some kids get those mental disorders.
• United States
6 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
@tocika (970)
• Romania
6 Jan 07
I think that depends on parents.My parents let me choose how do I want to leave.They teach me when I was a child what I can do and what is wrong.I never hate them for that.Generaly,parents want only good for their children.I think that a child can compare what is goood and what is wrong when you give him examples.
• United States
6 Jan 07
I agree. Thank you for your response.
@sanell (2113)
• United States
5 Jan 07
okay here are my thoughts, I think discipline is necessary for the children but after discipline occurs there needs to be shown love and the like. So what I mean is, when I discipline my daughter who is just about 3 years old, she has a timeout, she will cry and then after we do the apology and teh big hug. At times I may spank but it is SO incredibly rare, because she is still young so though she does understand she is still in her testing phase, but overall she is a good kid, I do not let her get away with anything, and I will not let her sister either. I do not overprotect, as a matter of fact I do my best to give SOME freedoms even at her age now, I am not sure how I am going to be when they get older, I want to give her the same freedoms that I had growing up but I am not sure how much I want to give to her....It will really depend, I think that with my husband's help we can work together to come up with ways to work on the girls and how they will follow rulse, what rules will be instilled in the home and the like. I am not sure how i feel about dating as I do not want her to NOT date but I think that she should wait until she is older like around 15 or 16...We will see how it goes. I also will be instilling strict school, above average ratings from my children. This will be tough but my parents were very disciplined about eductaion and learning and I plan to do the same with my kids.
• United States
6 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing your story. I also have a three year old. She is the one I let get away with more than she should. She is my baby and my last. I dont let her get away with everything but she is quite spoiled. Thank you for your response
• India
5 Jan 07
Parents can not be strict nor can they be lenient: it is a mixture of both:they have to create a lively,happy,contended environment in the sweet home to enable the children to grow: there are certain value based guidelines which have to be followed: parents must remember that they are shaping up the children to make them face the challenges of the future and they will be tomorrow's responsible citizens .
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
@coolcatzz (1587)
• Canada
5 Jan 07
In many ways I feel parents aren't strict enough with their kids. Kids today get away with a heck of a lot more then they did when I was young. As far as being over protective you need to be in this day and age. There are just too many weirdos out there.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
@micheller (1365)
• United States
5 Jan 07
I think that over protettiveness is a very bad thing. When you hold a child back from doing things that her peers are doing, chances are the child will lie to you and sneak and to them anyway. That is what leads to some children getting into trouble and running away. You should set rules for your children, but you shouldn't treat them like their locked up.Allow them do do things and let them learn from their mistakes!
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
5 Jan 07
my parents' ways on giving me discipline when i was younger seems to be just good for me. they hit my butt when i was a bad daughter in some days but before hitting me, they tell me the reason why they need to do it. then after that, they talk to me again and tell me to be a better person. and i do understand why it is necessary to hit me sometimes (on my butt only). then, they weren't too strict when it comes to having boyfriends. i started having boyfriends when i was 14 years old. it's okey for them for as long as i introduce to them the guy and i continue having good grades as well in school. they allow me to go out at night but i have my curfer until 10 in the evening and so on... i mean, parents should have rules and regulations when it comes to how they discipline their kids. but they should be open to discuss things with their children as well. open communication between parents and child and vice versa are the most important way of discipline.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing your story and for responding.
• United States
5 Jan 07
i belong to instructive group of parents,showing outcomes of wrong behaviour though i give them to try themselves if no harm will happen
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
@Dracow (1)
• Norway
5 Jan 07
The main goal to be a parent is to love yours child, guide it on the right way, and earn respect for beeing a good parent and not from fear!
• United States
5 Jan 07
I agree. Thank you for your response
• Philippines
5 Jan 07
too much of anything is bad! at least thats what I think. overprotective could be a bad thing for a kid that in time they wont be able to handle things by themselves because they know someone else will do the saving for them. you have to balance everything, you also need to let go once in a while so they learn how to deal with problems in the future themselves and be independent. We cant always be at their side when things go wrong...
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.
• Philippines
5 Jan 07
I used to be the only child in the family but when i was 17, my mom gave birth to my siblings.. They are now 4,3 and 1 year olds. My mom is very strict on me, accompanied me anywhere i go. Always there at my side. wont let me go out at night and even during day time. So what i did, i escaped, and lied, just for me to go out with my friends. Being so strict on your children is bad already. Children can also understand that you dont want anything bad to happen to them but it oesnt mean that you'll keep them as prisoners. Cos the tendency is, they will freak out and do the possible things just to let go. And it aint good at all. So what i can suggest is, you trust your shildren. Talk to them. COmmunication is the mere tool, for you to understand thm and for them to understand you. That what parents are afer, is for their security too. Dont choke them with your rules and possesivenes!
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing your story. And response to my post.
• India
5 Jan 07
I have seen a whole lot of people who are extreams i.e over caring or not caring at all. Some parents are more concerned of the future of their children and they tend to do all the work that their children has to do, thus disturbing the individuality of their children. In such a situation children feel frustrated and stop acting on their own.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response.