Is it cheating when...

United States
January 5, 2007 6:54am CST
the man you've been sleeping with for 3 years lives with another woman? He claims that it's over, yet didn't tell me the exact status of their relationship for quite some time (roommates do NOT share a bed!). He wants me to be exclusive and I think I love him, but I don't feel that the exlusiveness goes any further than my doing (and I'm not now). I'm hurt and pissed...I know I'm wasting my time, but I'm still hoping in the future I'll have a shot at happiness (slap me with a wet noodle!) I'm tired of the Saturday afternoon booty calls and just recently started with someone else (and accept a date for next weekend) cuz I'm sick of sitting at home alone! Am I wrong entirely, or am I correct in thinking he's a fool???
2 people like this
16 responses
• Singapore
5 Jan 07
he's thinking that you are the fool...it's bad enough that he's staying with another woman, but sleeping in the same room and bed? this is really too much. if im you, i would have end the relationship the moment i found out! go to that date, look around!! you deserve better, my friend!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Feb 07
Haven't you been to his house to see who it really is? If it were an ex lover, I'm sure the girl would have left by now unless is too lazy to get her own place? Only you would know the real deal. I'm sure you can feel if he's real to you or not. Follow your heart and your head.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Feb 07
why would she leave her home (well, the house is rented in her name, from her former FIL). i'd say he's too lazy and cheap (I mean, where I live it was voted money magazine's best place to live in america 2005; he chooses to live in philadelphia). i've mentioned it to him but i think he's afraid i'd think less of him (i already saw his neighborhood and while surprised, it's not how i judge a person). but thank you for your comments!
• United States
30 Jan 07
Once again I have been in a similiar situation. What I learned as they say is he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I just had a guy I know is married ask me the other night if I would see him on a hush hush kind of thing. I really like him and am attracted to him but I cannot do it. I have dated men who told me they were single only to find out later they weren't as well. It's all a bad thing. Then guys wonder why we act the way we do sometimes!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Feb 07
I have had that happen too!!
1 person likes this
@missinghim (1339)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Girl FORGET that cheating, lying a$$ fool!!!! He's no good at all and is doing nothing but trying to have his cake and eat it too (and stringing you along for 3 yrs). You are young, pretty and single... so go for what you know and find the man that will be right for you in the future. You deserve more than jacka$$ will EVER be able to provide you with. Get back in the dating game and do you girl. GET EM GIRL! :)
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 07
Thank you for the compliments (about my looks) (I'm blushing now). That was someone else's handiwork, I tend to look like a mess because I don't know how to make it all come together!
@vyaasrad (565)
• India
5 Jan 07
yes its cheating
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
who's the cheater? I believe it's him...I've given him clues about mine and it just soars over his head...I've been considering it nothing more than a booty call myself lately and I'm making plans without considering him now.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Well duh ! yes hes cheating and lying too....Good for you ,go out and have fun,life is to short for you to sit home alone while he is just being a room mate...you are right he is a fool...so don,t let him make a fool out of you..Drop him before you really do love him and just thinking you love him...I would shake myself off and keep on walking....
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
I thinks he just wants you as his meantime girl your better off withoutt him. Go out on a date im sure you will meet someone who is more deserving enjoy being single and the right guy will come along
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 07
You're correct in thinking he's a fool. This reminds me of the first guy I ever slept with. I was 19 but I had no experience with men so I believed him when he said he had a female roommate. Well as time went on, it changed and then he too, told me that they were in the same room, in the same bed but that it was "over". I was so shocked! I broke up with him and the last I heard they were still together. You're right in starting to date other people. You do deserve to be happy and not with someone who has strung you along.
@jennifer611 (2502)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Your right for thinking he is a fool. and if you mess with him any longer, sorry but u would be the fool then.. he lives with this woman and sleeps in her bed. believe me, he is with her and he aint trying to leave her for you or even leave her at all.. I dont think the message could get any clearer if he spelled it out in black and white. you are right to move on. and you should leave him alone completely. live your life and find your own man. you dont have to share, your better than that. he is dirt and always will be. I wonder if this other lady even knows he is messing around....
1 person likes this
@steerforth (1798)
• Italy
21 Jan 07
He's a cheater without doubt...
1 person likes this
• India
21 Jan 07
yaaa it is bad.............
1 person likes this
@vijayr (114)
• India
21 Jan 07
It's depends on you.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
I think he is the fool honey, you need to drop him, i think it's cheating and you deserve better and you will find it.
1 person likes this
• Romania
5 Jan 07
no, i thinck you have right, he is really a full.I'ts best you try to forget him and find a good person wich dezirve you, to be happy and not alone.try to find what is best for you...don't stay with him becouse youre skared not to be alone.You're on the second place anyhow so you better try to find the love of your life.If he did this once he can betray you to again so..it's better to forget him.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Jan 07
he has cheated you and you cant believe him anymore.so wat you have done is right
• United States
29 Jan 07
He's always been up straight about living with the woman (kinda hard to hide her when she constantly called at work!), so I went into this with my eyes open. What he lied about was their sleeping arrangements (which have changed). We're working it out. I also knocked it off with the other guy b/c I think I got some sort of infection from him and I really don't need that! The date--ha! Does electrical work for me (I hired him before he asked me out), leaves the trash HERE and when asked a question (from the inspector), took offense. I didn't need that, so I canceled that date (which was sitting in my home watching a movie--can you say CHEAP!)
@aprilten (1966)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
Atta girl. I think you're right in thinking that the exclusiveness of your relationship is one-sided and that's your side only. It's a good thing you finally woke up. Don't worry about it. If he questions you about it, you question him about his 'affair', too.