what do you regret the most?
By elpiesworld
@elpiesworld (75)
Philippines
January 5, 2007 7:41pm CST
i had the one of the most rewarding, relaxing feeling a few years ago concerning an old flame. my first gf to be exact.
we didn't have a formal relationship before, being young and all, plus the fact that it was a long distance relationship, and you know how hard that is.
anyways, we were best friends, turned lovers, but didn't get to work on the relationship at all. when she had time to go back to my country, we hardly talked or looked at each other, which really was quite awkward.
anyways, being young, i was heartbroken and eventually we parted ways. you know when you were young and you were in love for the first time, it really is hard to forget and let go, especially when things really didn't end. no formal closure. questions inside your head that were never answered lingering for like ages. i regret not having the chance to tell her how i really felt and just fell silent and we both parted ways, accepting the fact that it was never meant to be.
well, i've had relationships after her and somehow i managed to move on. then one day, i received a message from her and was just overjoyed. pain was still there and everything came back. she's married. has two wonderful kids. living a good life.
we got to talk. and eventually the closure that we never had for 13 years finally came. we talked for the first time about what really happened, how each of us felt at that time and how we feel right now.
after that, i felt a sense of relief. it was like a burden was lifted from me, 13 years of questions and doubts finally had been resolved. it's such a good feeling.
now, what do you regret the most and have you resolved it?
5 people like this
34 responses
@cachekitten (463)
• Philippines
6 Jan 07
The most i regret to my life is this married life..I regret that i have married which is now i realized that i still wanted to have a free life just like before when i was still single..Coz this time that i am married it was very different, what i want to have, i can have it, but now no more coz my husband dont have job at this time while me i am working so its me raise our family this time..and my salary is not enough for us..its only for our family no more extra for me..Thats why i regret.but although i am happy.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
i think the best thing in life that we find hard to accept is learning that everything happens for a reason and we are responsible for the choices we make.
i can see that you do miss having time for yourself, which you can still have, if you cand just find time to.
believe me, good things come to those who are worthy and deserving. loving your family and being able to make them happy is something a lot of people do, it's just hard to make sacrifices but i'm sure you'll be rewarded soon.
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I think that it is so wonderful that you were finally able to talk to your childhood sweetheart again and get so much closure for the both of you. So many people probably never get to experience that! ^_^ It must feel wonderful having all of those years of questions and doubts finally answered! ^_^
One of the things that I regret the most is being too shy to talk to this guy who I really think liked me. I've been living with being painfully shy for a very long time, and now that I am finally trying to come out of that, which is still going to be a long road, I have this strong feeling that said guy isn't interested anymore, and I keep beating myself up over it. Maybe one day I'll be able to resolve it. I don't know. I sure hope so! ^_^
2 people like this
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
sorry it took so long.
i think that you'll be able to have that closure. whether meeting with the guy and just being able to talk to him about it or just moving on and realizing you guys are just meant to be friends.
good luck! :)
@mansha (6298)
• India
6 Jan 07
My biggest regret is not completing my Post graduation. I got married so soon and never had a chance at carreer. Now It seems so late. I wish I had done that and would have done some teaching job somewhere on regular basis. I keep taking up jobs whenever possible but since I am only graduate, I am always underpaid. I am good at it too. Parents ogften praise me and my methods but as my hubby's job invoves of moving all over the country, I often am left with no job. I think thats my biggest regret.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
well, i experienced the same thing. i'm also trying to get a master's degree and i hope that one day i can go back to teaching.
i love the fact that i can impart knowledge and stir interest and give younger generation a helping hand in their quest to becoming someone someday.
i think it's still not too late. on my part, i think that the one thing that i find difficut in attaining my masters degree is my low grades ia have earned during the my college days. they have certain requirements and feel that this would be the one thing that would hinder my dream of getting it. anyways, i won't give up. :)
i hope you'll do the same thing. thanks for the comment.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
you know what, you shouldnt blame your parents for not giving you the opportunity to go to school.
i know a lot of people who actually made their way to college by working AND helping their families at the same time. they are success stories that really just inspire other people to work hard and relaize that they can reach their dreams no matter the odds.
sometimes giving yourself a little push, some confidence and hardwork will get you places.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
yeah, it really is painful when we say something that we later on realize is just a bit too harsh.
sometimes, we become tactless and frank that we never relaize that we are being in considerate of other peoples feelings.
i hope you'll be able to thnk before you speak. i'm trying to do the same thing, and so far i think i'm improving.
@WebMann (4731)
• Canada
6 Jan 07
I would have to say that quitting school in the first two weeks of grade 10.
I never went back to school and eventually it came back to haunt me.
I never, ever had to apply for a job because I was a really hard worker and word of mouth was all I needed to get work, but...
Working construction and other dirty jobs didn't look like something I wanted to do for the rest of my life and started looking for other things.
I eventually got in to computers in the early 80s and then became an instructor.
As an instructor I didn't get paid what others were being paid becuase I didn't have the education. But you know it was me they came to when they wanted to learn something new fast.
I eventually, about 5 or 6 years ago, went out on my own and now I wouldn't have it any other way.
I still regret not completing my education and spent a lot of time trying to get that point across to my son.
1 person likes this
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
i think you're an amazing person. its really hard to accept our faults and much harder to correct them.
i'm really inspired with what you have gone through, what you've become and what you aim to give to your son. you may not be financially stable, nor settled in a manner that would have been much better given you finished your education, but still, i think the determination and hardwork you gave to yourself in order to live is commendable. not many people would do that. most would just try to waste their lives away and live each day waiting for luck to fall on their laps.
thanks for the comment. you get my vote.
@cuddiluk (1523)
• Philippines
6 Jan 07
me too had the same story with yours. I had a boyfriend way back on my college days. We parted away without formal break up. I made a research him on the internet, there I found his id. We chatted and tell him that I got married. I wanted to reconcile to him just wanted to make him feel better and so do I, but unfortunately he dumped me. I knew there is still a pain inside to him. I hope that someday God will make a way that we can make a peaceful talk and accept things the way it goes now.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
thats too bad... well, you can't do anythign about that, you did your part and maybe he still needs time to accpet things as they are and move on...
thanks for the comment.. hope your happy with your family right now...
@wonderer (58)
• India
6 Jan 07
There was this girl, not out of the world beuty or anything of that kind but simple, elegant, intelligent and understanding. We got along very well, we could talk about anything and everything and understood each other well( Absolutely nothing physical between us, not even a kiss). But she was from an affluent family while I was from a very traditional family. I could never gather enough courage to propose to her. I later on learnt that her family actually did approach my family for tis match but my parents did not agree. Sure enough she got married to someone else. I was heart broken and refused to get married. After about 10 years I met someone else and we got married and have a lovely daughter now and are very happy. For me my daughter is the prettiest girl in this whole world and the best gift that I have received from God allmighty. But I could never forget my old sweetheart. Even today I long for her. I want to meet her once and clarify everthing. all internet searches have thrown up nothing.
Till date I regret for not having been bold enough to take a bold decision at a crucial juncture in my life.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
at least you're happy with your family and dausghter right now. the more that you'll be able to accept the fact that you're settled now and living the life that you want, it'be better to accept the fact that she has eventually moved on as well..
@maximus2006 (835)
• Hong Kong
6 Jan 07
en, I think most of us have a not very good memory for the first love. It is said the first love when you are young is the best and turest love. I do think so! I have a similar experience as you. That is my first time to fall in love with a girl. But we left each other at last. I can't tell the exact reasons,and I think she must be unable to tell. Maybe this is a necessary step for us to be mature. I have never met her again after our last chat. sometimes, I can remember her and those days with her,butit becomes less and less clear as time passed by. I think it would be better if I find another girl who I love deeply!
Good luck to you!
@momknows (284)
• United States
6 Jan 07
The biggest thing I regret was/is not having my life in order (job,education,housing,money) prior to starting my family. We struggled trying to raise three children. My biggest advice to you: have your life in order, then worry about love and ....Not saying don't date, just saying be careful
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
thank you for your comment and advice.
i think starting to save for the future really should be more than just saving up for yourself but for your future family. i'm experiencing the same difficulty as probably majority of the people living in this world so i know that if they can do it, i can do it too..
thanks again.
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
6 Jan 07
I did not follow my dream.. I was always so enthralled by archeology and wanted to study in that field.
My parents had all kinds of reasons why girls could not travel to the far off places of their dreams. So I buckled under the pressure and did not go forward with it,
Now years later, whenever I watch Discovery or some other similar show, my heart still drops
I think to myself that could have been me.
I am in such a different place from that world,,,,it will always remain a "what if" in my life.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
a few years bacj, i had the same thing that you had, trying to see if i made the right decision. now, i took the reins and somehow it's been a fulfilling move.
i managed to accomplish, or at least made most of my wishes when i was a kid come true: i'm an architect now, a writer, a poet, i have been a professor at some point and now i'm just having that sense of fulfillment being able to accomplish it, despite the fact that i never really wanted to become an architect in the first place.
the thing that would make our lives fulfilling is doing something that would make us happy, would gives us something that would not be tiresome or boring.
i think its much easier to actually do something that you're interested in than doing something you have no passion for.
@table4three (126)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 07
i regret most when i was in first year study. i did not study well until my third year and thus affecting my pointer. now i am struggling to repair and maintain my pointer so that i can graduate with the at least second class degree.if i have the chance to move back to the past, i will try to study harder and play less.
@xcmatx (173)
• United States
6 Jan 07
what a great story, i have a similar case, except theres still no closure. I guess you kind of changed my mind about her, and gave me hope that maybe someday we would be able to talk about everything. Well, i guess i regret wasting so much time in my earlier years of high school. Maybe if i tried harder and did some volunteer work or something, I would be in a better place right now.
1 person likes this
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
good for you! you know what's good about it? you don't need to wait for it to happen, because if it is meant to happen, it will.
just do the things you've been doing and for sure, the closure will come it it really needs to. life is such a mystery that it really leaves us dumbfounded when we think we know it all.
@sesha1240 (303)
• India
6 Jan 07
i regret things which make me unhappy..or irritate me..
like doing assignments..
regularly attending the classes..so.on
1 person likes this
@sahergul (774)
• Pakistan
6 Jan 07
i wonder if you guyz really loved eachother so when she visited you why you guyz couldn't meet and stayed together... it the same case with me.. and i can understand the frustration and helplessness being that far from ur love... but i believe when we are gonna meet it would been so fun and great moments...
1 person likes this
@thumb_up (80)
• China
6 Jan 07
there so many things i regret. i have been 20 years old . but there so many things i haven't experinced . and i have wasted so much time . how can i regain them . i can do nothing .but just waitting for the chance coming . i want to be successful man . but seems that i never succeed before, because i never have courage to have a try ,
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
i think you shouldn't just wallow because of the things that you didn't get.
have faith in yourself and what you can do, because if you just wait for things to happen in your life, time will catch up on you and eventually, you'll have a lot more to regret because all you did was wait.
make the most of your time. it's better to at least try than not doing anything at all.
@fifer20 (9)
• Australia
6 Jan 07
My Biggest Regret is Emmigrating to Australia 43yrs., ago.
Having a close Family of Five children, now find that they are spread thru-out this HUGE Continent. Our Grand-children & Great Grand-children have been growing up & hardly knowing us as their Grand-parents. None of our children have kept up the Traditions & Cultural Aspects of their Scottish Backgrounds. Which to me is a huge loss for them & their children.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
that is a huge setback.
i never thought that having al of oyur family in one place can still be difficult. i guess when we all get our own lives , with our own families, we really have less time to be with our other loved ones and make it a pointto at least visit them or be with them, and let our childerna nd grad childern on your case, connect with the culture and close family ties that is slowly fading away.
@sindai (204)
• Canada
6 Jan 07
I have no regrets about anything in my life. Sure there have been things that I've done that I'm not proud of myself for doing, but I don't regret it. I think that everything you do in life, whether it's good or bad, it's what makes the kind of person that you are. Everyone has choices. and if you choose the wrong one, don't regret it. You learn from your experiences. If you're going to talk about really really bad and evil things like killing someone and you don't regret doing it, well, I can't help you there. You have problems! just my .2 cents.
@elpiesworld (75)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
good point.
life is indeed the best teacher and its these little fears and regrets that make us better persons and makes us human. the thing taht makes life interesting is when we begin to realize our faults and take time to correct them.
