What to do with middle children?

@Ashida (1370)
United States
January 9, 2007 10:12pm CST
I've noticed a lot of people have three (or more) children on here, so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Everyone talks about the middle child or children getting lost on the shuffle between the first born and the baby. We have three kids, and I'm curious if anyone has some tips on how to avoid this. Thanks in advance!
3 people like this
4 responses
@Fenja1 (66)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I have three kids, but we haven't had too much difficulty with this issue. We do our best to treat all children equally and make sure each child gets some one-on-one time. The difficulty we have had has been when the three of them got to teasing each other. The older child used to team up with the youngest child, and the two would pick on the middle child. While the oldest and youngest saw it as a game, the middle child took it personally. My husband and I had to step in and explain to the older child how hurtful this can be to the middle child when it happens repeatedly. Luckily for us, she understood and stopped doing it.
1 person likes this
@Ashida (1370)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I appreciate the thoughtful response. We try our best to do the same thing, however sometimes the grandma's and other relatives treat the oldest and youngest very differently than our middle child. It's interesting how they gang up on each other -- in our house, the youngest and the middle child gang up on their big brother!
• United States
11 Jan 07
Well if you're smart you do like me .. have twins then there's no real "middle" kid! lol I don't really think that being the "middle child" has to have so much effect on the kid if the parents make sure they make an effort to show their affection to all 3, take time for all 3 individually also and making sure they are all given the same rights, according to their age and abilities.
@Ashida (1370)
• United States
12 Jan 07
wow -- twins! i'm not sure we could have handled that! I appreciate the thoughtful advice.
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I don't have 3 children, but I am the middle child in our family and the only girl. Both of my parents made it crystal clear that they had no favorites, and all of us grew up secure with this. I think that it is so important to communicate love to children equally; don't assume that they know it. Talk with them and be sure that they do.
@Ashida (1370)
• United States
12 Jan 07
That's some great advice -- I appreciate it. My wife and I work hard to do this, but we haven't really discussed it with them. perhaps we should.
• United States
10 Jan 07
Well, if your kids are anything like mine, the oldest and youngest are definitely the squeeky wheels. My two middle boys did seem to get lost in the shuffle from time to time, but I firmly believe that if each child is treated special in his or her own way that stuff equals out...especially if an effort is made to go out of the way to do something special for the middle children every once in a while for no reason at all.