How do I prepare myself...

@soldenski (2503)
United States
January 20, 2007 7:39pm CST
My son and husband left Monday 1/15 to Alabama, where my mother in law was in the hospital. She was very ill and passed away on 1/16. My son, husband, and father in law are now driving back to California (they are in Texas, Saturday) and I don't know how to prepare myself to help my son (and husband and father in law) through this time. I want to make my son something special, something about Grandma, so he can sit and look at when he is sad or missing her. Do you have any suggestion's, he is only five year's old. Thank you. I miss her so much, today was a day of crying.
3 people like this
21 responses
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
21 Jan 07
We got some bad news the other day as well. My husbands father only has a few days to live. His organs are shutting down. We also have a 4 year old daughter we had to tell that her Papa was going to go to heaven to be with Jesus. She cried, and she picked a special toy out that night that her Papa had got her for Christmas and she slept with it. Today was a better day, but we do still have more bad days to come. We dread the day to come. Maybe something special that belonged to his grandma would help?
2 people like this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
We were told the same thing about a month ago. My husband went alone that time since he was told she would not make it through the night. She "woke" up while he was there, and was doing good, and would be coming home in a week. Well, a few week's later, we got the same call, so this time, my son also went (we can't afford for all of us to fly) they got there in time. Thank God!!! My son gave two car's so they can cremate with her and my father in law also cremated a gold angle he got her for Christmas. Every year she would make me a ornament (cross-stich) and yesterday my father in law gave it to my husband, and she had made me a angle. How fitting. Sorry for long reply
@brokentia (10394)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry! I remember reading your other post about her being ill. I am very sorry for your loss! I think it is great that you want to make something for your son. I would say to go through the pictures you have and then make a huge collage of her. Make a collage that includes her being with others. Something to show all the happiness that was there with her and the family when she was in this present world with us. My heart goes out to you and your family in your sorrow. Lots of love....
2 people like this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank's for your reply, I bought him a photo album and am putting picture's of her. Unfortunately, we don't have enough to fill the whole album, but I called her sister and asked her to send me some. I was looking for poem's or some sort of meaningful stories. Thank you for your condolences' also.
• Nicaragua
21 Jan 07
Oh, very bad to know it. I am sorry. Well, a goo thing but hard to get is make an album with only photos from her. Please if you can do it make it, cause that is a good way to remember it
@katenkim (238)
• Singapore
21 Jan 07
im not sure if its allowed in your tradition to have fun when one of your relatives passed away, but for me, taking my son to an out-of-town trip would give him some time to break away from the sorrow, or having time with him to do his favorite hobbies
2 people like this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Make him a picture book, with pictures of him and his grandmother, try to see if you can get a blanket of hers, that he can have on his bed, to remind him of her.. Maybe a special book that she loved, and would have loved for him to have and read. I'm sorry for your loss, and pray that God will comfort you and your family in your time of need. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Thank you for your advice and your thought's, they really mean a lot to me and my family
22 Jan 07
The Water Bug here it is, there are different versions http://www.healingheart.net/waterbug_story.htm I hope that helps may I suggest you take a look at qvc.com, Anna Griffin, she makes the most beautiful scrap books and memory keep sakes if you wish to consider that, and a step by step guide to her techniques. Her designs, are roses, damask, elegance, gorgeous! I was watching her in the UK last night, she is lovely. Thinking of you at this time, Bright Blessings.
1 person likes this
@vicky1 (240)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Sorry to hear about your loss. My son is having someone make a music cd with pictures of family members we lost. Do you have differant pictures of your family taken with your mil? Maybe something like that he can watch.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Great suggestion. I think my sister in law was working on one before my mother in law passed away, hopefully she will make us a copy. Thanks for your post.
@classy56 (2882)
• United States
21 Jan 07
im so sorry to hear this.try makeing a small blanket to hang on the wall.use material of something that was hers that she gave to you. an cut 4x4 sq out of it an sew the sq into a 16x16 picture just enought to fit into a frame. an glue her picture in the middle of the sqs or anything you may have of hers,you can also sew this to a clothes hanger an hang it on his wall for him to look at.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
23 Jan 07
This is a great idea. Thank you so much, I would never have thought of that myself, although, my mother in law probably would have, she was very crafty.
@snow2007 (170)
• Canada
21 Jan 07
I suggest you find something that she made and get it to him. I'm sure he will like it whatever it is sorry to hear about your mom.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you for your reply, and great advice. She was a great lady.
• India
21 Jan 07
i f i were in place of your son i wold have wanted a huge album of pictures of me and her which i culd see whenever i miss her such albums are made here in india if u need any details write to me on stutiaquarian@gmail.com
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you. I have been making an album of picture's for him.
@kozine (10)
21 Jan 07
Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my half-brother on the 16th January 2006 and its very hard to get through. Did your mother in law have a favorite song? If so maybe make something related to that.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you for your reply, and great advice. The sad thing is I don't really know what her favorite song was, I know she loved Elvis, so I am guessing one of his song's.
@sham_mdk (436)
• India
21 Jan 07
dont panic be calm...
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
huh?
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 07
I suggest that you frame a Photo for him of his Granma and all you can do now is be there for them all nothing else and give your Support and Love to them I am so sorry about your Mother in Law I know you will be having a hard time now to get over it but you all need each other now
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you for your reply
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
the best you can do is to tell your son that her grandmother has left and will be waiting for him many many years from now and that her grandmother had to rest because she was very sleepy. well at least it should work. thats a very very hard situation you have. its all i can suggest. God speed!
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you for your reply, and great advice
@kmgupta (561)
• India
21 Jan 07
i can not help you
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank's anyway's
• Italy
21 Jan 07
i am so sorry....
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you for your reply
• India
21 Jan 07
I m really sorry to hear about the demise of ur mother-in-law.I am very close to my grandparents as well.Why dont u give ur frienda belonging of ur mother-in-law.Or probably if they both(ur mother-in-law and son) have a picture together,u could frma that and give it to him.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Thank you for your reply, and great advice
• India
21 Jan 07
u need a good friend or responsible and reliable neighbor.god bless u.bye .
1 person likes this
• Nicaragua
21 Jan 07
Oh, very bad to know it. I am sorry. Well, a goo thing but hard to get is make an album with only photos from her. Please if you can do it make it, cause that is a good way to remember her
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
21 Jan 07
Hugs and shared tears go together. You don't need to say anything. Just hug and listen. I'm sorry for your loss.