Im Falling In Love With My X-Husband,What Will I do???

Love - Im afraid to fall in love again.
Philippines
January 25, 2007 7:51pm CST
After 3 years of our separation,i told myself that i wont be with my husband ever again.He abandoned us and he went to another city.Now, he came back with a nursing degree.He told me that he do it for us.For our better future.So it wont be hard for me and for our 2 children.He is now finding a good job with a good salary.He dont have another family.Thats what he told me.I feel his love now for me and for our sons.Im falling inlove with him again and start hoping for US TOGETHER.BUt im afraid that he will leave us again and get frustrated and have a broken heart.What will i do?
23 people like this
115 responses
@XxAngelxX (2831)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
I think the best thing you could do is take it slowly. Don't rush into anything. Give it some time to see if he really has changed and really is willing to better the lives of you and your sons. Perhaps he has changed for the better. Good luck to you.
3 people like this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Thats what im doing right now.Its really hard for me because i spend too much time just to healed my broken heart when he left us.Im still waiting for that reality to see that he is really changing.Hope God will help me on this matter.
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
think of it first and its true wat angel said that you should take it slowly..take your time to get accostumed with the fact that he is back to fix what had been broken.you are already healed aren't you.if you think its worth taking the risk the second time around..you go ahead..after all he's the father of your sons
2 people like this
@Jamian (2604)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
So what happened now after? I think you should give another chance to him and for yourself, let the love that has been broken be back again to where it is, there is still another chance, you will know that with the answer of your heart, and on what your mind tells you. rebuild your family again, and live with the guide of the Lord, this is another chance in which you can give a happy future not only for yourself, but also for your children that needs the care of their father.
@khufara (73)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
i think that you really have to take one step at a time..just take it slow...just make sure if he is still willing to commit in the relationship.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
if i was you i would not ever take your x husband back he abanoded you once what is to say he would not do it again.
2 people like this
@jhrcsr (349)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Trust yourself and your feelings. If you are falling in love with him all over again, treat it as a new experience. It sounds like he has taken steps to change himself. Take it slow and see what happens.
2 people like this
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
if you still love him then go for it. if he doesnt have a family now after your separation then maybe he had hi reason why he abandon you and your kids. just make sure now that what he says is true. just dont rush on making your decisions. evaluate everything what happend in your past and now. and pray to GOD thats the best thing to do. now if you are sure enough that you still love him and he still feel the same way too then go after all he is the father of you kids and i assume that he is still you husband legally?hope im right..goodluck to you and to your family..
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Well, you can fall in love with him, but for the sake of the courts, do not marry that man again.
2 people like this
@PoeTalker (715)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Well think of this logically and step outside of yourself for a second. Don't include and love or emotions in your thought at all and then answer these questions, I guarantee you that after you answer these outloud honestly to yourself that you will have your answer: #1 Are you "standing" outside of yourself so that your LOVE for your ex will not disrupt these questions? #2 When he left did he tell you he was LEAVING to help fix and improve your life?? #3 How old were your children when he left?? #4 Do you kids know their farther? #5 Did he cheat on you during your relationship or while you were apart? #6 Did he really do all this to save your relationship? Is that what you believe to be the truth? #7 Is he a coward? Do your parents and friends like or dislike him after he abondoned you? #8 Could your children handle it if he left you again? #9 Could you? You should have your answer. If you can't seem to find your answer based off these questions... it meants that you don't love him enough and that your children mean more to you. It means you don't want them to be harmed again and you know it's not right.
2 people like this
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
So, he left you alone with 2 kids to starve so hecould make a better future. BULLCRAP! If he had done it for that reason, he would have told you what he was doing. He doesn'tlove you, he just wants back in your pants or doesn'twant to pay for a divorce. Tell him to take a hike, but remind him that those are his kisds and they need things you can't afford and you want child support.
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Life is full of risk. If you wont take a risk you'll never know. If you still love your husband you will give him a chance everybody deserve a second chance. Why not give him a chance for your kids sake. You can't live your life with what if i do what if i dont that you really have to take a risk and pray that this time its for real.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
i am separated. how i wish i had the same feeling. its a good thing that you're falling in love again with the father of your child.. at least you wont have to go through the whole process of getting to know a man-stage again...all you guys need is to reinvent and relinguish the thought of being together again. Good luck!!
1 person likes this
• India
26 Jan 07
Pam is right Give him a second chance. Dont carry past with you. It will make you heavy. Forget the past and start afresh. Forgetting and forgiving is the best trait of a human being. Even if he has another affair, ignore it as long as he is with you. Do make sure that he does save enough for you and your two kids in terms of assets created for future.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Give it some times and see what happens. And maybe ask your sons' opinion.
• Romania
26 Jan 07
If he is back, it will be good for u and ur children, coz they need a father and u need financial support to raise your children. The problem is that if he didnt change and he will leave u again, u will suffer and this isnt good at all. Its complicated for you, but i think that u should give urself a chance on this. If u can be happy, even for a short time ( few years, lets say...) i think u should go for it. Dont think about future too much, u never know what the future will bring for you. Love him, but dont show it like before. DOnt let him see that u r to easy with him. He did made a mistake and when he left, as he said, for u and ur children, he should speak with u before to take this decision. You were a couple. Or did you both had this conversation before and u wasnt agree with him? Anyway, focus on the first part of my comment and give urself a chance to be happy again. All the best from ROmania.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
Yeah you are right!But i have a lot of fears of getting hurt again.Its not easy to move on those days when he left!After all i did all my best for my kids.Maybe he realized how i am as a person, a woman and especially a mother for our children. But he see me different after he left. I am more stronger that he never expected!
• Romania
8 Feb 07
Great to hear that you are more strong, you should be, he was a selfish person when he left, he couldnt manage your problems as a couple. But there is always good to give a second chance, just try to protect yourself of getting hurt again. Really, its complicated, takes time and good thinking about being again with him. He left you in a hard moment of life, when u more needed him and now, when everything is better, he returns. If i were you, i would feel too proud to forgive him, but i am not you and maybe is better this way. Test him, try to see if its working, let him prove that he will stay by your side in hard moments too, that he wont run away at your first problem. Wish you luck and bright mind, to take a good decision.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Give it another chance it sounds like he really did do it for u
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
i hope so.because i dont have enough strength to get hurt again.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 07
Well said mate , same thought here . Give him another try
1 person likes this
@baysmummy (1638)
• Australia
27 Jan 07
First i would say dont rush into anything, Just be friends for your kids sake, Make him proof to you that he really is going to get a good job and stick at it! You should tell him what it did to you last time he just abandoned you and your children and how you dont want that to happen again! If he has really changed and wanting to make up for his wrong doings then he will listen and understand what you are saying and be willing to wait for you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
Thats exactlly what im doing!Cool!Thanks for the respond!
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Your situation is quite complicated. Marriage is indeed a lifetime commitment, I think that God doesnt delight in broken marriages. Its a case to case basis though, there are certain situations wherein separation is the best solution. In your case, i know that you were deeply hurt by your husband because he abandoned you. But he is your husband after all. If I were in your shoes, I will take my chance again. I know it would be risky to take him back since he may abandon me again, but i thnk its worth to try. But then again Id be more careful before making a decision, try to analyze his actions. Do you think he is telling the truth? If you can feel his sincerity, then why not give it a try. If you still love him, then I suggest that you forget the past and move on. Allow him to make it up to you and to your kids. Talk to him, give him conditions. Tell him that you were really hurt when he abandoned you. Be open and honest with your emotions to him. And try to forgive him. If all else fails, atleast you have done what is right. Forgive and forget, thats the best thng you should do now. I know its easier said than done but you really have to do this. Most importantly pray hard. Ask for God's wisdom and guidance. He alone can help you and He alone knows whats best for you so keep on praying. I hope that God will really heal the wounds of your heart. And I do hope and pray that you will make the right decisions and that your marriage will soon be whole again. God bless you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
There are things that too easy to say in words but actually too hard when it come to actions.I guess, i still have bitterness and broken hearts that i need to fix after he abandoned us.I am trying to heal this day by day and letting my mind and heart forgive those painful past he caused me.Time can only tell.But i have faith since we are still married!
• United States
26 Jan 07
Don't do it girl. I have a friend that divorced her husband a number of years ago. They were apart for two years and during that time, they both made drastic changes and fell in love again. Well, two years passed and he went back to his old ways. They are now divorced for a second time. She said it was a big mistake to marry again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
You scare me!Huhuhuhuhu!But atleast,you are trying to warn me!Anyways,i am still waiting for his actions to see how sincere he is!Im not yet decided.We are still married anyways and not yet divorced since i am from Philippines and divorce is not yet allowed here instead Annulment and it takes years and too much money before you can annuled your marriage.I will let the time discover what is best for us!
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Give yourself the chance to love and be loved, to care and be cared to. Loving him again would not only mean happiness to you, much more to your kids (if you have any?). WHAT'S wrong in falling inlove with him again?, if you think he's sincere enough then give him a chance. I think, your pride has blinded you to see the beautiful things that he did for your family. Give it a try. Do not be afraid. There's really no guarantee at all in life. You may love another guy, but there is no guarantee that he will not leave you.. so whatever makes you happy, follow your heart and let your mind guide your heart in doing so.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
You really knew how i feel.I have pride thats my hindrance to get involved with him again.I want him to give extra challenge if i need too.He need to have effort to win my heart back again.He was the one who left not me.I want to see how much sincere he is having US his family and be together Happily ever after!
@Debs_place (10524)
• United States
26 Jan 07
He abandoned you and your 2 children, he went to another city , got a nursing degree. Something is not right, I will bet my bottom dollar, he had an affair, lived with her, she dumped him and how he is trying to get back in your good graces. He owes you for 3 years of child support and that is just the beginning, he does not want to fork it over so he is playing the loving hubby again. Tell him that you would like to consider it, but he has demonstrate by paying the back money he owes as well as contributing to the current situation. get it while you can, my guess is he will split again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Very much cool response.U really make me laugh.I wasnt able to think about that views.Thanks.
@pusiket (1758)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
Love is always a gamble. It is either you win or lose. But what important most is you bet and tried your best to win.
1 person likes this
@yana0806 (565)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
Love is sweeter the second time around! So go, love your husband again . . . love him more!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
why don't you give him another chance? if you see that he is really sorry for what he did and you still love him and same as he is to you then give another chance.
1 person likes this
@wadezit (14)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
Maybe the problem is in you thats why he left. If the problem is in your husband he wont come back for sure. Be careful because the next time that your husband would leave you, he will gonna bring with him the children leaving you alone. I just hope and pray this wont happen. Anyway the last decision is yours. Think about it first or go for counselling from elders before giving your next move.
1 person likes this