How do you feel about your life right now?

United States
January 26, 2007 7:45pm CST
I should be ridiculously happy with my life right now. I have a hero for a husband (he's a Marine), a beautiful son (14 months old), and we finally own a home, but I feel like a failure. I am a stay at home mom, and I work my butt off, but I am also trying desperately to find a job and to contribute more financially. My issue is this: before I got married I knew I could do anything. I had gone away to school, was on my way to a degree, I was riding horses, working, had friends and wonderful support from my family. Now, all I have to show for my education is an AA, I no longer have horses in my life, I have been diagnosed bi-polar and it causes issues with holding down certain jobs (not trying to use this as an excuse), and I am 3000 miles away from my friends and family. As much as I love my husband and son, I feel like I am not doing enough to contribute, that I let my family down not finishing my bachelors. . . I don't want you to console me or advise me, I just want to know if anyone else sometimes feels the same way.
8 people like this
88 responses
@candygurl24 (1880)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
I'm actually going in reverse and have been since I was 18. I didn't go to college, I had kids, I didn't get married, I am still single, but now I am looking forward to going back to school, which puts me one step towards where I feel I should be in life. I definitely feel a bit empty, but I think there comes a time where everyone experiences a bit of this, some on larger levels. I hope that you find something to fill your empty space in your life. Good luck in all that you do.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Thank you.
• United States
27 Jan 07
Don't feel so bad, although I should be saying that to myself really. I'm a single mom of 3. No boyfriend, no job. Just stopped nursing school because my mom doesn't want to send me money anymore. She supports me for my everyday expenses and bills, my grandma pays for school. Mom stopped helping me out last December and I was in the middle of the semester. I became so broke that I couldn't even go to school because I first had to take care of food at home, my baby still drinks formula. Well, when I stopped school I found work but it was for only 5 hours a day, it took me 2 hours each way to get to work and home. It was so scary to get home at 11pm having to take public transportation in a 3rd world country. I was so terrified because on the way to the bus stop, a man ran after me so I ran away as fast as I could. I have 3 kids that need me so I quit that job and am staying home. I realized how much I really need to finish school so I can be a nurse in the states where my oldest son is, he is living with my mom. I want to be independent and be able to give my kids everything. Nothing much I can do now but to wait for my mom to have a warm heart for me again. And to add to that, I'm really sad I'm single.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jan 07
I really relate to what you are going through. Your feelings are completly normal considering the changes you have gone through in recent months, even if you weren't bi-polar. Moving and having children are two of the leading stress factors in life. These feelings are magnified with the bi-polar, as it is also a "side effect", so to speak, of bi-polar. I too am bi-polar, and one of the worst things that can trigger me are changes, especially if there are many of them all occuring around the same time. I don't use this as an excuse either, it is however very commonplace for those that suffer from the disease. I too have everything I ever really wanted in life, a brand new husband that I really love, a home of my own, the support of my husband to be able to write, my kids are grown up now and it's my time...yet I feel like I am failing myself by not being as motivated as I should be. So I do understand. If I can help in anyway let me know.
2 people like this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I think we all do from time to time I too am a stay at home mom But I did just start work on my bachelors degree. I do it at home throught the internet with Kaplan University. You can also finish your degree plan at night while your family is a sleep. My husband works nights and my kids go to be at 10 so it gives me the free time to finish my education. And you can too. If its a money issue you can get grants and federal loans to pay for it and all your past credits will be tranfered so you don't loose out on those and you can get your degree sooner. Email me and I'll give you the information you need for contacting an advisor if you are interested. My email is aggie_joe2210@yahoo.com email me any time if you need to just talk or information on going back to school.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
That is a great suggestion aggiejoe. Internet classes are a wonderful way to complete or continue your education. Especially since you stated that you were feeling guilty about letting your family down. I have taken some college internet classes and they are really fullfilling.
• United States
27 Jan 07
I am definitely worried about the cost of online schooling. I could have gone to UCLA for less money! LOL But I actually just got in contact with UTI who has a campus in Mass. . . I don't know how that would work though. . .
• United States
27 Jan 07
I can totally relate as well. We moved to a new state for my husband's job a year ago and I am still having a hard time dealing with not having a support system. I am at home with my 14 month old as well. I feel like a huge failure because I didn't find a way to get an education or a career. I also have chronic health issues that usually sabotage any attempts at holding down a job. I really have no advice but I relate to what you're going through 100%.
• United States
29 Jan 07
Change is not fun is it? But every once in a while you are reminded that certain things are worthwhile. He has gone out of his way since I posted this to make me feel more appreciated. I hope that your husband shows you that he appreciates you. I am sorry about the health issues, is any of it treatable or curable? People have really advised me to finish my degree online, have you considered that?
• Serbia And Montenegro
27 Jan 07
Hey, don't say that. I believe your husband don't see it that way. Trust me. Sometimes we are just being too skeptical about things and used to blame ourselves too much. Maybe you can talk to your husband regarding your worries, that might make you feel better. For me, i don't know, my life right now seems like a mess. But i'm trying to make it work. At least i still have that hope. :) Good luck to you too.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Thanks. We actually talked last night and I feel a lot better. It made me feel as though I am not such a burden.
• United States
27 Jan 07
yeah I often do, but then I try to count my blessings and realize things could be a whole lot worse, and they have been. I am thankful for where I have come from my experiences and all, I am looking hard for the best direction for my future and am taking steps toward it. Sometimes I complain, but that really doesn't help much. It is best to be thankful for what you have. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
27 Jan 07
there are points in my life that i regret doing something and that i should have done something else. but regretting much won't bring me anywhere. so, i just learn from what i should have regretted and do better next time.
@wsue1023 (1396)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Tired, but happy! I'm a stay-at-home mom and have never worked so hard in my life, but I feel very blessed to be home with my kids, to be a home owner, to have our health, and to have a husband who works hard and loves his family. Couldn't ask for much more than that!
@brimia (6582)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I feel pretty good about life right now. Of course there are times when I'm really down and feel like I haven't accomplished the things I thought or hoped I would at this point in my life. It helps to change my environment and rethink things in a different way at these points. I know there are a lot of great things about me and my life so I need to concentrate on those things more often.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22082)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Oh sure dont beat yourself up over it. I worked for a job nine years and last year that let me go. Im trying to contribute to, but like you said you just dont feel like your doing enough. I think we are being too hard on ourselves. Cheers
27 Jan 07
Right now? I'm alot happer than i have been. Recently since starting a project i've found my voice or "typing" hand. Been through alot of bad things since leaving school but now my sons been born (who's 8 months old) things have looked alot up. I still feel down at times, especially when i think of things which i shouldn't + special people who miss deeply but it's all normal and it's made myself a better person. So yeah, i'm over the moon! lol ~Joey
1 person likes this
• India
27 Jan 07
My life flows good right know... Am not sure it will be the same ever....
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
a lot of military wives feel this way especially if you are young and a new mom. You have to give yourself a break and realize that you are doing THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB EVER and that is being a mommy! yes, I realize that helping out financially is a nice thing and some people like to get away from the kids and all and go to a job. I love being home with my kids and maybe you do to. I don't know your financial situation of if you just want to work or really NEED to work. Whichever way, it's your business...I am jsut trying to get you to realize that you are NOT a failure...you are providing emotional and physical support for your little boy! You are cleaning your husband's house and cooking his food and taking care of your responsibilites. These are HUGE things in life! If you just don't feel complete without work, try to go back to school. Is there somewhere there that you can check in to? Don't worry about letting your family down...one thing I have realized in my 36 yrs is that it is more important to be happy with YOURSELF not what others thinnk of you...even if it is your parents, grandparents, or siblings. Of course you care about their thoughts and feelings, but you should be more concerned with YOUR happiness! I am sure, if truth be known, they are FAR from disappointed. Chin up! Everything will work out great! Look inside yourself and find out what YOU need to do to make YOU happy! GOOD LUCK
1 person likes this
• India
27 Jan 07
i am enjoying my life and sometimes i get irritated due do load of various and special works for me and my friends and for my life and for this society. otherwise i am doing what i want to do and getting problems which i want to take and solve
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jan 07
Yup, 3000 miles from friends and family with a 2 year old and 3 year old. Stay at home mom with a masters degree, cleaning up toys and potty training accidents! Some days it just feels like I got lost along the way...
1 person likes this
@armywifey (883)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I am also a stay at home mom, and my husband is in the United States Army. He is currently overseas right now. I sometime feel like I should be doing more, but I am lucky enough to be living near my family while he is overseas. I am 9 months pregnant right now so I can;t really work, but I do plan on going back to school and getting my degree. I feel like you in that I believe I could be doing more, but I wouldn't give up this time I have with my children for anything. You should make a plan to go back to school in a certain amount of time, it will make you feel better about yourself.
• United States
27 Jan 07
Congratulations! I was lucky enough to have my husband here while I was pregnant. I could not have imagined him being deployed during that time. If you ever need anything, let me know. We military wives need to stick together! I am going to send you a friend request, I hope you don't mind.
@babyreyn (934)
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
I am so sorry, I am stil single and honestly I dont want to feel the same way with you maam.
• Serbia And Montenegro
27 Jan 07
That's mean. Very.
• India
27 Jan 07
I think my life has become monotonous or has stopped at a place and daily I do the same things and repeat every process in the same way without any change. I guess I need a change and should start looking for opportunities which can bring a change in my life.
• United States
27 Jan 07
I was feeling that way a few years ago. So much so I named my cat Sysi-- after the myth of Sysiphus (ya know rolling the same boulder, up the same hill for all eternity). I feel different now. Not so much that I am spinning my wheels, but that I should be doing more with my life. I feel much better after reading the responses to my post.
@nehalkap (19)
• India
27 Jan 07
life is good till now dont know what will happen tommorow.JUst little heavy studies. little burden nothing else Just 1 more years and i am out of it.
@KHyuga (1698)
• Singapore
27 Jan 07
Well, I would love studying much more than working. Much less pressure on your shoulders.
• United States
27 Jan 07
my life sucks right now. im financially unstable. im buried in debt. and the bad part is im only 18.
• United States
27 Jan 07
But you have an awesome userid!! One Chrome to another, I am usually fairly optimistic, and usually more optimistic about other's lives than my own. You are young, it will work out. Debt is the worst, all you can do is learn from your mistakes.