my friend's ex husband is a jerk

@drashima (224)
United States
January 29, 2007 12:46am CST
this is a true story,happened to a friend of mine. her marriage was arranged by her parents with a guy from a reputed family of the same city. although it was arranged, they had a year long engagement in which they met often,talked over the phone. he kept sending her flowers and gifts and wooed her completely.then she got married and after 4 months of marriage she called me up 1 day and told me that she got a divorce.i was shocked .then she told me that her ex husband was gay but he didnt have the courage to come clean about it to his parents.on top of that he wasnt willing to give her a divorce,with the help of a top attorney she got one.and now he is spreading false stories about her and badmouthing her. all this happened 2 yrs ago and in this space of 2 years that sick creep married and divorced another girl.he has spoiled the lives of 2 innocent girls and they have got a divorcee tag for no fault of theirs.it will be difficult for them to marry again. i was advising my friend to consider legal action against that guy.what do you think she should do?
3 people like this
17 responses
• India
29 Jan 07
how sick of that guy? i think your friend and the other girl should together file a suit aginst him and claim a heavy amount oor many years jail for hiding the truth. if nobody takes action he will go on spoiling others life. i feel if he is heavily fined he may stop cheating. there is noothig wrong to be gay but cheating is ofcource wrong. he played with the emotions of those girls. every girl has a dream of having a good husband and a happy married life. i think your friend can start a new life all over again.
1 person likes this
@drashima (224)
• United States
29 Jan 07
i hope so but in india you know how difficult it is to get remarried once you have a divorcee status,its been 2 years but till now her parents havent found someone for her.it just breaks my heart,she is such a sweet girl.
• Singapore
30 Jan 07
There are some people I know who have remarried after divorce and are living happily in India. It is difficult to find a person who will understand your friend, but it is not impossible. All the Best for her future.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 07
Yes you are absolutely right. she should appeal court for justice and that guy should be punished for indulging in badmouthing and spreading false statements of an innocent girl and not revealing the truth before marriage and cheating!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
she should of tried to get it anulled
1 person likes this
@dynamite (74)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
That guy is a sick creep, indeed. Why would someone do something like that? That's just down right mean and ignorant and hopefully he gets some law suits filed against him!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
If I am understanding right where you come from the girls should not get a divorce and then if they do maybe no one will want them for a wife. Well I don't agree with that at all but any ways, your friend and the other girl should both file a suit against him. He has done this to both of them all because he is ashamed of what he is. It is not their faults and they should not have to pay for it, he should have to pay them. Tell your friend to keep her head up and things will work out in the end. We don't need a husband to be happy that is just what some have been raised to think. She can do it I know because she stood up and got a divorce so I can already tell that she is a strong person.
@onesiobhan (1329)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
Sounds to me like the guy has been trying to go straight, and it's not working for him. He needs to get some counselling. He needs to learn to be comfortable with who and what he really is.
1 person likes this
@elisa812 (3032)
• United States
30 Jan 07
That's so sad! :( I'm so sorry that your friend is going through this. Nobody deserves that. I don't really know what type of legal action she could take against him, but I guess maybe she could consult someone about it and find out. It sounds like she's doing really well with her education and career, so that's a good thing at least! I hope she will be very successful and find a really nice man in the future.
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2831)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
Something should definitely be done about him. That's just unfair to do this to women and repeatedly do it at that! Surely there is some type of action these women can take against him. She certainly should consult a lawyer on this.
1 person likes this
@fake_you (391)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
well, that gay's really sick and out of his mind. he clrearly shows signs of being afraid of being laughed at. he knew he's gay but he still decided to get married to try to conceal it. he's really a jerk. he can't face his own fears and face his own life. he married another one to try again to conceal his being gay, and to make his ex-wife's life miserable. he's afraid because the society might not accept him for who he really is because he came from a rich and reputated family.
@shiboleth (270)
• Canada
29 Jan 07
I agree with you. He had no right to deceive those poor women. He should be punished.
1 person likes this
@fabwisp (1328)
29 Jan 07
that is awful. I feel for your friend. But as long as she has caring supportive friends she will get through it. And evntually meet someone else who is more deserving of her
1 person likes this
@Trace86 (5033)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Maybe she and the other exwife can work together and show the community that it was not their fault and that he married them under false pretenses to cover up that he was gay. They might be able to prove it and get an annullment from the church and then it would erase the marriages from the record. Then both girls would be free and never legally married. If they wanted to be vindictive, they could tell everyone about him being gay.
• United States
29 Jan 07
That is really sad. Same Kind of incident happened to one of my cousins also. She was in india where she found it very tough to go to courts etc. Parents spend lots of money on her marriage, She was going to other city after marriage. After few days of marriage she was not allowed to make any phone call, even her hubby used to sleep with her mother-in-law. She was not allwed to meet her parents or any body during this duration. After one year on some festival, she just run away from home. When she came, she was not wearing sleepers. Then she went to court and requested for divorce. After that all medical tests were done for boy. He was found unfit. Then she got divorce. But after that incident 8 years had passed, but she could not be remarried.
• United States
29 Jan 07
legal action in india just do not work. i am assuming u are talking bout this incident in india though hard to believe that would happen there , but if it is anywhere in the western countries by all means go for it. he might do it again to some other girl who knows.
@kiran_raj (112)
• India
29 Jan 07
I really feel sorry for ur friend & I strongly suggest that ur friend & the other innocent gal needs to take a legal action on him, which would atleast stop him from spoling the life of another gal!!!!
1 person likes this
@grayxenon (1315)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
he should really get a divorce or annulment fast...She should not be allowed to be used and destroyed in such a manner.
@drashima (224)
• United States
29 Jan 07
they are already divorced
@seabreeze (661)
• China
30 Jan 07
Your friend should admit hospital.another,she should leave the place!New place can help her to disentangle.