Long distance relationship?!

@hopefoo (1145)
Malaysia
January 30, 2007 11:30am CST
While chatting earlier tonight with a friend, some guy she invited into the chat started introducing himself and proceeded to explain how he's online looking for his soul mate. And wow this guy had faith. I asked him if he really believed that he could find his soulmate online, he said yes. I asked him how and he started to explain the the eyes tend to lie to you. His argument is that with chatting, you get to know the real person first from what she talks about etc. I have never in my life looked at it that way and just a little bit skeptical of the whole issue. Is anyone in here involved in a long distance relationship with someone they've met online? Do you really get to pick their minds first? Has anyone's relationships worked?
12 people like this
76 responses
@ladyjava (1185)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
My husband and I are living proof of ur topic today. We met in one of the yahoo chat room. Casual talking turn to brain picking then turn to talks abt knowing each other likes and dislikes.. Looks always in the way in of knowing pple. Thus the saying "First impression counts". In the chat room, none of that matters. Pple dont talk to you coz u are pretty, or u're handsome.. pple talk to you to get to know you.. Sight don't get in the way. People can't be bias. I carried on a long distance relationship with my hubby for abt one year after which we got married coz we just want to be with each other. So yes, in a way i agree with the guy u are talking about... But i did not intentionally find love ... it just happened. Destiny got in way :)
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
Lucky you. I wished him luck and really hope he finds what he's looking for, for his sake anyway. Congrats to you too, I guess you're living proof that it actually can happen. Isit awkward when you met him at first??
3 people like this
@ladyjava (1185)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
Well, honestly speaking.. No.. it was not strange as all. We felt that we knew each other so well. I was shy at first but the moment we started talking.. everything else was forgotten.. and Yes I am one of the luck ones.. a lot dont end up so nicely. although i have friends who hook up with their spouses in chat room as well :)
2 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
30 Jan 07
i met my husband in a yahoo chat room back in 2005 never met him till Jan 2006 we moved in together shortly after that and married in June of 2006 we have been very happy every since. so yes it can happen you just have to watch out for all the a-holes and jerks around and never try to meet someone in person soon after you met them online talk a bit and get to know the person before making that step its not safe
4 people like this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
wow! good job all of you above too. I don't know what to say. I guess it is possible to find love on the internet. That's it, I'm giving all of you +s!
3 people like this
• United States
30 Jan 07
I'd say from experience he's right and wrong about it. It's true that you could find out a lot from a person just by talking to them but it would be best to see them face-to-face. You want to look at their body language b/c behind a computer screen, you can erase what you want to say and make it sound better. A long distance relationship for the most part wouldn't work unless one person is willing to move closer to the other. Another thing to take into consideration is if this guy has other im windows with other girls telling them the same thing.
4 people like this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
yeah exactly. I've always thought that it's all a bit crummy and the person on the other side could be lying and what not. But the below thread proves me wrong, i think.
4 people like this
@elisa812 (3031)
• United States
30 Jan 07
I've been in a long distance relationship with a man I met online, and we're now engaged and planning our wedding for 2008. It is definitely possible!
4 people like this
• United States
30 Jan 07
I understand why he would say that. i actually met my fiancee on myspace. He sent me a message while over in afghanistan and was looking for a friend. We talked for a month and decided we would like to start dating when he got home but didnt want to wait because we felt such a strong connection. I was skeptical at first but I agree and i have never regretted it. We are actually gettine married this fall and I have never been happier. I would urge anyone to ay least give it a chance.
4 people like this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
30 Jan 07
Well my brother met his wife online. He's Irish and she's from Florida. Seems to have worked for them as they're still married three years later. I met my husband online and spoke to him online before we met. We lived 85 miles from each other.
4 people like this
• Trinidad And Tobago
30 Jan 07
i was in a long distance relationship a long time ago and i can tell you that you have to make it what you want it to be. Every relationship will encounter and endure challenges, we have to know how much we want it and how to make it work. Today, a long distance relationship (LDR) can be successful. I was reading somewhere that LDR's are more successful now because of the internet, webcams, free voice chat etc. It's alot easier.
3 people like this
@shemb1 (465)
• Sri Lanka
31 Jan 07
I think some times these kinds of relationship works out, but sometimes not. it depends of you and other person that you talk with. if you pick right guy there is no harm and if you pick bad one you gonna get trouble. the other thing I like online relationship is people can understand she/he without going too far in relationship. normally other things not come first, then you can understand other party s well as possible also.
@rhea_lyn (199)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
I experience that already,Its kind hard.but it will work out if you voth sincere and can provide everything that needed in long distance relationship..my past relationship its working for about a year..but i found out he have others so i broke up with him.i met him online.
1 person likes this
@mnrmkr (75)
• India
31 Jan 07
It depends upon what kind of relationship u want to keep up with other person if u want to keep only friendly relationship then no problem but if u want that relationship to continue as husband and wife relationship only chatting on the net wont work out that we do only for few moments and little body language that to through web camera ,as ur attaching ur self emotionally. so direct meeting is better .
1 person likes this
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
Yehey, my first post! Well, I think it is so possible to find your soulmate online,because I did! The thing is, I too was so sceptical, because when getting to know people online you usually tend to live far betweeen. And the reason to that making me sceptical is all my previous long distance relations have ended in misery! Another thing that before has put me off an "online relation" is the issues I have with too many people ONLY interacting online. I get worried about friends rarely seeing eachother anymore in flesh, instead they spend their lives facing a screen... With all that said, I did meet the love of my life online. It all started with her wanting to go to my country to work, and she basically asked me how things worked around here. The reason she asked me was I had an account on a place called tickle where one can take different personality tests and so on. So.. Through tickle I became a member of a different community and that is where she found me. So it all begun really innocent and slowly, as a friendship, but the mails grew to chats, the chats to letters. The letters grew to phonecalls and so on. And within months we were an item!!! So I personally think that it might be the best way to succeed in an online relation; when it isn´t planned. Instead you wake up one day thinking, wow, I cannot be without this person, she completes me!!! Although I know many friends who have found their loved ones online, when on a mission to find someone special.. SO.. Yep, I do believe true love can be found online, but it is also really easy to get disappointed, since when just meeting online, you never really get to see all of the person. His or her issues, the stuff you are happy to keep hidden from someone showing interest in you, since you don´t want to put them off... But.. I was lucky! I met a girl who was honest to me from day one, a girl I felt secure with, and I could open up to so easily! And.. A girl I will marry one day in the future! Hihi...
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
And. Hahahahahah. I just realised my girlfriend is the one writing comment number 48! Hi honey!!!
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
hey! you never told me you'll join this site be! hehehe. and i hope people will not judge me more now because i am a filipina with a foreigner boyfriend. it's not that i need someone to defend my side. but a little push and a little lift will help me face other skeptic minded people. thanks be! enjoy mylot! and i will marry you, one day! hihihi...
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
hi. i understand about you being skeptical at first. i was, too. but then, when i find my boyfriend online (not through chat though), i believed that everything is possible. we met online, exchanged emails and send each other hand written mails (yes, true and even sweeter than just emails). after a few months like 3 or 4, it's when we started chatting to each other. we had been friends for the first few months and then, everything starts from there. i say, don't rush things just because you find the person on the other end interesting, cute or for any other reasons. keep something to yourself and don't over expect anything. try to be friends first and see if the guy will stay in your life even if you are just friends. let the friendship develop by it's self. less worries, less stress and less upsets for you. just be who you are. love will come your way at the right time. my boyfriend and i are in our 9th month in the relationship. he came over the philippines last year to visit my family and i for 2 weeks. it was the best two weeks of my life. and yes, we are happily inlove. we can't wait to be together again. we still give and send each other surprises. i believe that it's a two way thing. i always try to send him letters, cards, small packages even when there are no occasions at all. he does the same thing, too. the communication is open between us. we talk about issues and we talk about everything. we argue? yes, it's natural in a relationship whether is long distance or not. but the good thing is, we solve the problem together that very same day.
@wynna1 (1291)
31 Jan 07
hello, you know what i agree with almost everything that you say. Im from the Phils as well and been married now for more than a year with the man i was chatting online with before. It sounds spooky with what you are talking about but what i've been through is very much similar to what you are now. When me and my hubby met for the first time(after 6 months of chatting), it seems like we've know each other for a long time, but before we decided to meet up there are no promises(though yes you're hoping for the best) or whatsoever that might give me a false hope or what,it was the friendship that lead to this meeting and to really know how the both of us feel to be around with each other and from that feelings get stronger and stronger and out of the blue he popped the question and thats it. Things happen when its bound to happen, dont push things to much cos if it will, it will, if not then, its not meant to be really. Being involve with LDR, communication always play a very important part, the love and the trust and the understanding should always be there as well. For me being with the LDR OR NOT all you have to do is not to rush into things and always get to know the person well before committing yourself fully.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
well, surprisingly, my boyfriend joined mylot today as well. i did not expect him to join. anyway, his response is on number 50. funny. hahhaha. but anyway, atleast now, i can prove to others that ours is a relationship base on love and not just money as others think of us who end up with foreigners. and as for you, i am happy to know that you are doing great and your marriage is working well!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 07
i can relate to this.. i just went to US this dec.21 and i left my boyfriend, weve been together like almost 2 years.. and after 3 weeks..he never calls me and ive never heard from him again..he dont answer my calls.. i just found out he was with another girl.. that s**ks.. oh..and i now im crying and crying... and figure out that long distance relationship is really hard to work..
1 person likes this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
2 years of your life gone just like that. But you know what, better find out now than later. Don't cry now. Say it with me real loud. GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!!! *hugs*
@naiina (135)
• China
31 Jan 07
yes it happens one of my frd found her soul mate onnet n now they r engaged..n after 1 yr they 'll marry...
1 person likes this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
Congratulations to them! Relationships are hard to keep. I hope they make it.
1 person likes this
@aelyus (634)
• Romania
31 Jan 07
thet kind of relationships don't work in most of the situations!you don't see what your partner does,you don't stay with him/her all the time,and that goes to the idea of finding someone else instead of you!
1 person likes this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
Yeah...trust is a big issue to me too. It's hard not knowing what the person is doing. Another thought just came up. With inter-continental relationships, how does one keep up with the time difference?!
1 person likes this
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I met my current boyfriene thru online almost 2 years ago. We chatted for a week then finally meet. We are not bf/gf online and I don't think that's a good idea. I don't know but I prefer meeting the person as soon as possible rather than having a relationship to a person you haven't even met.
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
Weren't you afraid to meet him after chatting with him for only a week. What if he doesn't turn out to be the person you hoped he would be? Just a thought, what happens when the person you meet disappoints you? I'm not targetting your relationship, i'm speaking in general. I hate it when people disappoint.
1 person likes this
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
yeah i have knew of somebody personally who had that kind of a relationship too. and now they are happily married, they live in the guy's country already with her kids. she had a kid back here at home but the father is gone. if its your fate to have partner from another part of the world it will come. you have to be open to the possibility.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
31 Jan 07
yes. just be open to whatever might happen. it does not mean that if love is long distance, things won't work out right. remember, some relationships where couples are together most of the time even end up in misery. it's in how we handle things together. it's on how two people work the realationship together.
1 person likes this
@CWesto (30)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I believe in it. I was on Migente.com before and thats how I met my current girlfriend of 1 1/2 years. We talked for about 3 months only on the internet and then finally met and it was love at first sight. People are usually shocked when I tell them that we met online... Just my thoughts on it =)
1 person likes this
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
congratulations. as you can see from above, only a handful of LDR seem to yield any results. We're happy for you here. I will in turn, keep an open mind about this whole issue but I still believe that a relationship has to be physical. LDR are based too much on trust. It's increasingly harder to trust people as you grow older, if you get my drift.
1 person likes this
@simplejoy (359)
• China
31 Jan 07
I dont believe in looking for soulmate online.It's really hard to keep the relationship only by words without seeing each other.And as for me,i wont fall in love with a guy i've never met before.
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
I know what you mean. The person on the other end could be lying, making up stories about himself that never happened before.
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7487)
• Australia
31 Jan 07
Oh wow this guy there must be something wrong with him as you can always tell by people's eyes what they are up to and the way they react. No I am not in any relationship over the net, and I do not think that I would, yes my relationships have worked for a long time but never over the net.
1 person likes this
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
31 Jan 07
I believe this also....the eyes are the window to the soul
1 person likes this
@pusiket (1757)
• Philippines
31 Jan 07
I don't think it is always possible. Only few really find there match online.
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 07
That's what I thought too. Not being physically together is a huge factor for me. But as can be seen from previous users, some of the relationships actually work out fine.
1 person likes this
@drumm1n (499)
• India
31 Jan 07
i think you can find friends online! which maybe after 'meeting' in real life could turn into love!! i think its possible! my friend found his first gurl friend online ! although it dint last! they were pretty good together!
1 person likes this