Can trust in a marriage be restored after your spouse cheats on you?

I dont think I could forgive so easily- this man has a fidelity problem,and he cheated very early into the marriage, if there have been other women- does she know? Has she confronted him, and been tested for STD's? He is risking her health as well as his marriage.

I can tell you from my personal experience that it didn't work out. That fact they were only married 3 months when he cheated on her the first time goes to saying a lot about him. The fact that she forgave him that one time and then she must have fogiven him all the other times over the next 7 years. It only had to happen once for me to know that if a man will do it once he will do it again. It might not be the same woman the next time, but he will stray given the fact that she was so forgiving.

I have a friend whose husband cheated on her many times too and forgave him all the same. However, lately the husband decided to finally leave her for another woman. Let's just hope your friend's husband has changed for good.

I am just not that forgiving in that area. I would always wonder about it and without trust I feel the marriage is doomed. I just wouldn't be able to forget and that is the biggest blow that any spouse can encounter. Based on my experience cheaters don't change. I know some people say that their spouse did it once and never again. I just don't really believe that. They just haven't been caught again.

It can be restored but it's not easy. It will take a long time and the person must do all possible ways to prove himself worthy of the trust.

I guess it could be restored because a lot of women have lived with cheating partners all over time. But for me and people who value trust a lot, I think it is hard. I had a cheating partner before and I forgave him for the sake of our kids. He did it again and I let him go for good. All the time I knew he cheated on me, I was really hurt and devastated. I couldn't stop thinking about what he was doing or who he was with. I say it's not worth it. Some people though stay in their relationships because it means a lot to them or it's the only thing they have.

I am not that forgiving. trust is a long time process and you hve to ear it. I can not forgive that person, even once. If this hapens with me, my marriage willbe over forever. Once a cheater always a cheater. I can never trust my man again and he should not expect me to be faithful too if he is cheating on me.

If he'd cheated into an early marriage, maybe marrying him was a mistake, I know I'd back out as soon as possible. My partner is always self concious and I love him for who he is and I know that I could not possibly cheat on him. Cheating as in flings or a relationship with another girl which one do you mean?

I know that I would not be that forgiving. Why would he cheat only 3 months into the marriage. There must have been some problems before they even got married. To me trust is the most important thing in a marriage. When someone cheats the trust gone and so is the marriage. I just couldn't be with someone that cheated on me.

Once a cheater always a cheater. I'm sorry but I expect fidelity in a marriage. Its not just any relationship. ITS A VOW in front of God!

I responded to this and for some reason my post didn't show up. anyways, I said that maybe your friend is one of those types of wives who look the other way when their husbands cheat. Maybe all she cares about is that her husband at least comes home to her.

nope

They cheat once they will do it again. I had been married for 10 years to my ex a month after I kicked him out I found out he had 2 different affairs on me. I would have never been able forgive him for that.

Yes, it can. Depending on your spouse's attitude after things are over and you're working things over, and on yourself. It will take some time. I won't even be restored the same way. But it can be done. Mind you the blind trust will be gone forever, but... maybe that is a good thing. The trust that tell us that something like that will never happen to us, the one that closes our eyes to reality, the naive trust will most probably be gone forever... If all goes well, that trust will be replaced by a more " educated trust". One that reminds that just because people are married it doesn't necessarily mean that they will never feel attracted to anyone else, that their eyes and hearts are not closed to what's around them. One that keeps in mind that communication, together time and small things are extremely important and are sometimes forgotten in the busy lives we live. One that opens our eyes to the fact that infidelity does happen, can happy to anyone. It can happen in times of stress, times of need. It can happen when one spouse is lacking self confidence, depressed, or facing middle age. It can happen to good people too. Although everything is possible, it's extremely rare that an unfaithful spouse sits down to write the "to do" list and adds having an affair to that list. Things happen, people act impulsively, make bad decisions, act selfishly, end up hurting themselves and others. However in some cases it is possible to live trough the experience and survive it. Even regain the important part of trust. What is needed to recover it? -That the unfaithful spouse is ready to be open about all his/her activities. - That he/she shows consistency in his/her desire to make amends - That he/she is open to talk about the relationship, the affair, his feelings, your feelings... - that he/she recognizes why or is willing to try to understand what happened to lead him/her to commit infidelity. He/she will need to look inside, deep inside to find the answer to this. - That he/she, works alongside with the spouse to rebuild your marriage/relationship .... and that the betrayed spouse, after the period of time needed to be able to process and work out what happened - which can take quite some time - and after seeing that the spouse is really committed to rebuild the marriage/relationship, will be willing to finally let it go. Working on a marriage after infidelity, is complicated and often difficult, but when it works, it can even result in an improved relationship. The first 1 or even 2 years after infidelity can be rocky.Doubts can return, suspicions...things that can only be solved through communication and even.... checking if necessary. The more times that the betrayed spouse checks something to find out the spouse was being straight and true about it, the easier it will become to regain trust.SOme people will need this more than others. And as I said, in the end, the betrayed spouse will need to let go of what happened, not as it never happened, but as something that did happen and it's finished. Was worked on and solved. If the betrayed spouse gets stuck on what happened, it will never work. And in that case might as well let it go. Tips to make it better? - keep communication open at all times. Be ready to talk and to listen. - No matter how busy your lives are, arrange couple time. TIme to share things together, enjoy things together. - create new memories. Happy memories to replace the unhappy ones. - Don't hang what happen over the unfaithful spouse head for ever and ever.YOu'll just be making your lives miserable and serve no other purpose. - Don't let the other person= the other side of the triangle - be the focus of your life, you will be making him/her more important than what he/she is, and giving him/her the chance to interfere in your life, when he/she had no more right or reason to. it might take time, it might be difficult, but it can happen. Trust can be regained. Will it happen again? It's a risk. In most cases it probably won't. But life and love come with no warranties. Even if you end your relationship with the unfaithful spouse and find someone else, do you think the risk of infidelity will be less? Not all cases of infidelity will be repeated, although some might. I feel the benefit of the doubt is sometimes a fair thing to do.

nope who cheat you.. will cheat again !