do you take advice?
By shelagh77
@shelagh77 (3643)
February 1, 2007 6:51pm CST
I believe that 90% of the time we ask for advice in the hope of hearing something that confirms a decision we have already made.
If you ask for advice, and you know the person you have asked has given good advice, do you take the advice, or do you move on until you find somebody who echoes what you have alrady decided to do?
4 people like this
11 responses
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
4 Feb 07
if i ask for advice, i take it if it isnt totallly silly or not understandable. but most of the time, i just read and take for me what i might try.
i prefer to listen and maybe give some tips, but only to well known persons
@shelagh77 (3643)
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7 Feb 07
You are the first one who actually takes advice when they have asked for it, so you are very rare, but it works very well for you, doesn't it :-)
I don't advise people very often either, preferring to listen, if you just listen, you can't get into trouble for having the wrong opinion on their problems, can you? I have learned that one!
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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8 Feb 07
We call it "sitting on the fence" over here. I must admit I favour this very strongly lol.
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@the_dreamer2005 (1175)
• United States
2 Feb 07
It depends. If it sounds logical then I'll consider taking the advice. But for me that's true, many times when I'm looking for advice- I'm hoping it will confirm what I already had in mind.
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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3 Feb 07
Most of the replies agree that we are looking for confirmation of our own conclusions. It is strange that there is such a market for the "agony aunt" columns etc when very few people actually take the advice offered lol. As you also rightly conclude, if advice is logical you are more likely to consider it and take the parts which you find valuable. Thanks for that :-)
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@hitzphillygirl (1235)
• United States
2 Feb 07
What you're saying is probably right. I'm always asking for advice, but I never take it. It's true, though. Maybe I am subconsciously trying to figure out if what I have already decided is the right choice.
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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2 Feb 07
lol. That's why when someone asks my advice I just make a big pot of tea or coffee and listen to them. Sometimes I point out where their logic conflicts but I manage to get them out of here without offering any advice :-)
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@creationhub (3066)
• Malaysia
2 Feb 07
I do believe in second opinions. Firstly, like you put it, we need to first confide our needs to someone we trust. You have a good point here in bringing out this discussion. It makes us think more seriously about such things.
@shelagh77 (3643)
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2 Feb 07
You are so right. A second opinion does help to iron out the logic of our own instincts and point out any loop holes that we have missed. I must admit my failing is that I get rid of the loop holes and still persist in my own sweet way.
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@shakadoodoo (737)
• Dallas, Texas
2 Feb 07
I do the same thing - I just really want to confirm what I am thinking - good observation - I listen to my elders and follow their advice but I usually do as your saying with my peers.
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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2 Feb 07
Thank you.
It is good to get a spectrum of views but you rarely get anything earth shattering to change your viewpoint, do you? Which probably means that your own instinct is very good to start with.
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@Lush_heidi (994)
• United States
2 Feb 07
the funny thing with most of us, is we want advice but seldom take it. A lot of the time we know we need to, but our thoughts drift to where we think we know whats right for us.
In the end, most of the time,I regret not following advice! You'd think I would eventually learn! LOL
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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2 Feb 07
You may regret not taking the advice, but at least the final decision was yours, and you probably learned from the situation. Sometimes the people we ask for advice have their own hidden agendas also, so all we can really do is be true to ourselves and hope for the best.
1 person likes this
@rainbow (6761)
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2 Feb 07
If I am struggling and looking for new ideas - usally for kids stuff then I read the ideas and try them on an I think this might work best basis. Soemtimes on other stuff I already have an idea and like it when people come up with the same thing, it's like being told I'm not completely thick and useless.
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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3 Feb 07
Well Rainbow, if anyone does tell you you aer completely thick and useless delete them from your address book and memory bank. That is not true and it is not helpful.
You have great ideas and it sounds as if you collaborate as opposed to taking advice as such. I bet you are a creative person!
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@MySpot (2600)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I agree that most people don't take advice and are probably just looking for a confirmation for the decision they've already made.
I guess that's why my discussion on advice isn't doing so hot : )
I don't often ask for advice unless I'm really torn on making a decision....so, if it's too close to call, I might survey my family or friends, giving my options and take notice of which is more prominent.
Unwarranted advice is the worst though!
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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4 Feb 07
oh yes! Don't we ALL hate unwarranted advice. Particularly if the person chooses somewhere public and where we are a captive audience such as a supermarket queue!
Yes, it is good to survey family and friends if the decision is close, but you can't always ask the family, can you?
Thank you very much for your post.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
10 Feb 07
hahahahahaha I am back
I will take the Advice if I have not already tried it and if it does not go against my Way and you know what I mean by that as you know how I feel about certain things
So if it is Advice that I am able to take I will, if not then I try and solve it my way
@shelagh77 (3643)
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4 Jul 07
I only just got round to this little bit of sauce and yes I know exactly what you are like regarding advice my little Angel.
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@shelagh77 (3643)
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3 Feb 07
Ah, but what is sound advice? I wonder how you evaluate the advice, do you tend to value advice that agrees with your thought patterns more than that which goes against it?
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@cabergren (1181)
• United States
3 Feb 07
I do like to hear advice. I don't always follow it. But I do like to hear different opinions about things. It is good to opinions from different people. Sometimes you realize that they way you are thinking may not be the best way.
@shelagh77 (3643)
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3 Feb 07
True, it is good to get a balanced viewpoint. I don't think many people realise that other people may have a better way until afterwards and they look back and wish they had done things differently. You are very lucky that you are able to act on the best advice. Do you think this has benefitted you in your life decisions?
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