working mom and house-husband... what can you say?

@fianne (1058)
United States
February 2, 2007 3:09am CST
my mom is now working for our family since mdad lost his job plus the fact that he's getting old. any says here that my dad should work coz he's the head of the family, we all understand his situation that's why my mom did the work to help my family. but many got angry with my dad. is it ok for my mom to work rather than my dad? when i have my family, i would work for my family, too. like what my mom did for us to help my dad.
10 people like this
53 responses
@cclay34 (486)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Marriage is a two way street,it is a partnership, each spouse should support the other. If one is unable to work then the other should be willing to help. How many years has your father supported your mother ? How many years has he worked while she stayed at home and took care of the home and children ? I bet that no one was mad at your mother for staying at home while your father was working. To many times people have bad things to say about other families affairs when in fact if they were in the same spot there situation would be the same.
2 people like this
@fianne (1058)
• United States
2 Feb 07
yes, i agree. well 25 yrs now that my dad worked for the family. it has been a year that my mom works for us.
1 person likes this
@cclay34 (486)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I am in the same situation, I have not worked since February because of medical problems but I cook and clean house and wash clothes and do anything that I can to help my wife. I do not feel good about her having to work while I stay at home but it is out of my hands at this time. I do not know what her family thinks about our situation but I am sure they have some negative things to say about it. I dont care what anyone says or thinks as long as everything is alright between me and my wife. I hate the fact that she is working and I am not but at the same time I am proud to have such a loving and caring wife.
1 person likes this
@fianne (1058)
• United States
3 Feb 07
i agree with you. i am happy that you stand with it. i will to.
@Bee1955 (3884)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I think its their business, not yours. In my teen years, my father was a stay at home dad and my mother worked after he was laid off from a long-term job with no benefits. My mom wanted to work as a nurse so they agreed to switch. My dad did the cooking, shopping and cleaning quite as well as mom did. I did the laundry and my sister and brother did the bedrooms. So what, if he stays at home? The bills are paid, there's a roof over your head, and you eat, right?
2 people like this
@Bee1955 (3884)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I didnt mean to say YOU. I meant to the others who were criticizing your dad.
1 person likes this
@Sir_bobby88 (8241)
• Singapore
2 Feb 07
they should not be angry. since he is geeting old too and if yr mum don't mind.. it's good too since yr dad can spend time with the family and realize how hard yr mum's been doing stuffs at home.. then will be able to treausre each another and maybe more topic to chat too..
2 people like this
@fianne (1058)
• United States
2 Feb 07
yes really. thanks. others dont understand the situation. if my mom won't do it, mt family will starve. soon i will work too. and mylot here helps a lot for helping my family.
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17850)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I can not believe that people in this day and age are so closed minded. I believe that both parents are responsible for supporting the family. This has nothing to do with gender. I think that your Dad and your family is lucky to have your Mother. Some people would never step up to the plate and take care of their family.
1 person likes this
@fianne (1058)
• United States
3 Feb 07
thanks. well my mom is doing good. of course she rests too. and i do the work and look for ways when she gets sick. i know it's hard coz i have experienced her work.
@opinder (420)
• India
23 Feb 07
i am sorry i could not read all the posts. but i feel that it is absolutely fine for wife to work if te husband can't, due to some reasons. you know that your father is not deliberately avoiding work and your mom is supportive enough to go to work instead. i don't see any wrong in this. if your family has a good understanding, you don't have to care about what others say. after all, they will not come to help you if your mom stops working and there is no source of income. so, stop troubling yourself because of such worthless fools.
@sherinek (3321)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I dont see anything in that. When my father retired, my mom worked for the family, when we were small. I dont know the human mentality. I think this is because we have in our mind, men are superior to women and if the woman takes over the family, the man should be ashamed and its totally a man's job to look after the family. This is total rubbish. Dont listen to anybody, they are not going to feed you when you are hungry. They are just talkers who look for trouble. Your mom should be a very courageous person. Just like my mom and we are definitely lucky to be their children.
1 person likes this
@DeenaD (2688)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I am a working mother, but not by choice. I would much rather have my husband as the sole provider in order to stay home with my son, who is only a year old. However, two incomes are necessary for a lot of families nowadays. It's not right in my opinion, but there you have it.
@alotoli (28)
• India
3 Feb 07
Its an old controversy that men should be the earner and women should stay home, cook, clean and et al.I dont see why at this age anyone should be thinking that way...it sounds so orthodoxical and outlandish! My Mom was more of an earner than my Dad for more than 30 years,but no one had any complaints about my Mom being an earner. Where I live, its mostly women who works for the family , be it Office, buiseness or working in the field.I wouldnt mind if my husband stays home, cook, clean and feed the children, neither should he mind if I be the earner.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Feb 07
This is a big thing here u r mom and dad have to maintain their believe, having more pattions and put hand together to protect u r family from the beastful society.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 07
My mother currently brings home the biggest paycheck while my dad is my sisters' primary caregiver. He's also getting older and my mom's nearly ten years younger, so it makes sense. Dad's still working, but he doesn't earn as much and he doesn't have to put in an insane amount of time like my mom does (Mom's a special ed teacher, so she works almost 80 hours a week). Whoever's angry at your family should back off. If what your parents do works for them, then good for them!
1 person likes this
• China
3 Feb 07
i am sorrow to hear but it should be help help should be given mylink:www.freewebs.com/mylotmoney
1 person likes this
@tarun05 (92)
2 Feb 07
what is the wrong in it..ur dad is a great man ..there is no any egho problem in it means u just ignore this matter..u should support ur mom and help ur dad while u r in ur home.
1 person likes this
@perugu (5279)
• India
2 Feb 07
hi,The people who get angry on your father are not understand the relation of wife and husband and importance of wife and husband in leading life.Not just because of father it is bad to dump all the burden on him.If there is chance to help from wife side also..that family will be happy family,otherwise,if you feel that it is not our duty,you have to earn and grow us means..is become hell and all the family members suffer..then then SO CALLED PEOPLE WHO GOT ANGRY ON YOUR FATHER DOESN'T COME FARWARD TO HELP YOU...
1 person likes this
• China
2 Feb 07
it is common...every needs other people to help him.
1 person likes this
@ananth85 (209)
• India
2 Feb 07
Lol, it`s a quite funny question. Infact i`d prefer working as much as i can, until they fire me from job. It`s not an issue for your dad`s joblessness. It`s just the fact that he`s getting old, that is making him weaker at a job. Hence it`s advisable for him to relax and enjoy life at home, atleast now. But, i`ve heard that spouses switch jobs during difficulties. Hence, it`s common around...
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
2 Feb 07
yep. this is true. and there's nothing wrong about this. it only means that the couple understand each others' needs and are willing to working things together.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 07
Your mom is doing what is needed to continue to survive. If she is not having any problems with her health I say yes. Why would she not be able to do this for your family? The father is getting old..does this mean that your mother is much younger than he is? I would wonder if the kids to help out around the home. This would be better for the mother also. I do hope all will work out for you.
@chengbeb (285)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
Nowadays, most of us women can do anything that men can do. I understand why other people would get mad at your father...ideally men are the bread winner of the family and they are supposed to work to earn a living...but it would really depend on the situation...if your father is old most probably there are not enough companies that do hire people of your father's age...what I can say is this...it doesn't really matter who works in the family as long as they don't lose their responsibility as parents. I'm a woman and I work for my family...I work for my kids...plainly because my husbands salary is not enough to support our needs. Life is hard and it's even harder if only one is working. I salute your mother for working...for sacrificing...she's not only sacrificing for your father but for your family...for her kids as well. And believe me when I say what your mother did is a noble thing and I salute her from the bottom of my heart!!!
@Lydia1901 (16353)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I don't see anything wrong with that at all. If a man can't work for physical reasons, a woman should take over. Someone has to take care of the family at all times.
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
well, for me Mom is in the house only, take care of her children, clean the house, and cook food for the family. the Father is the one must have an income or work....because he is the head of the family...he is the one earning..but as i observed because of poverty both parents worked to support there family needs..we should understnd our parents if both of them are working..they are working to give us a descent life..and we should thankful with that...we should not think that they dont have time for us..only they are up with our needs on financial matter..
• India
3 Feb 07
i like the family in which father work and the mom also works... then only i can use my freedom .. and limits to the end