Am I trying to live my life through my kids?

Education is not a bad thing, wanting your children to have the knowledge to do well in life is absolutely wonderful. As long as (as the last poster said) you aren't forcing them into something they don't want or aren't interested in. Also make sure they are getting to play and be kids too and that their whole day isn't spent on the book learning. I try to give my daughter lots of freedom but I also encourage educational play. We go to the zoos and the museums a lot she adores them and learns soooo much. Your friend may have felt threatened or insecure because she doesn't do the same things with her children and so she needed to put you down out of her own insecurities. If your kids are truly happy and you are truly happy and you are just doing what is best for them then you aren't doing a thing wrong. :)

I think it is really important that you do what you think is best for your kids but on the other hand...Kids need to be left to be kids. I am a nanny and a mum. Obviously being a nanny you tend to work for the wealthier family. Their views are a lot different to mine, as in that their kids are not allowed to do anything, but work and no play!!! Making your kids do more work than they need to, stops them from using their imagination and they become attention deprived. Kids need to be left to have fun and enjoy themselves. Their time will come when they have to buckle down and start grafting...

You are just trying to guide them because you love them . I think that's really important . Just you do what is in your heart , My boys are 44 , 41 and 26 and I rtied to guide them and they are brilliant and I am verry proud of them , go with your instincts xx

especially if they're young, there's nothing wrong with helping them a little at home. parents are supposed to be working with their children at home aside from school anyway, most teachers would want that. it helps the child not struggle in school as much as if they just did everything in school without the parents help. what you're doing is just helping your child learn. what you shouldn't do is push them to go on to college if they don't want to though. some kids rather wait or just not go. because when they're at that age, they can decide for themselves what they want to do in life. at that point its our job as parents to back off and let them decide for their own. if they ask for advice, kindly give them some, but if not. let the figure it out. that is how we let them grow when they've become adults. but if they're still elementry school studends then there's nothing really wrong with it. as long as they like doing it and its not taking away from any other activities.

Who is the parent? That's correct they are your kids. Teaching and guiding your kids is not a bad thing. I wish my folks would have 'pushed' me more. As long as it is healthy support it can't be a bad thing. Besides what is wrong with molding the life you created?

I think it's important to make sure they don't burn out, or feel that what they learn and what they don't learn will not disappoint you or color the way you think about them. While you are instilling your values in them, instilling knowledge in them seems to only go so far as they are willing to take it. I think it's great that you want a good future for you children. Are you living vicariously through them, no. Just hoping that they make a good life after they leave the nest, and that's natural for parents.

Probably both things apply, bring them up in a happy loving home with a good sense of their self worth. It's hard being a parent.

I think what you are doing is fine as long as you aren't persuading them to do something they clearly aren't interested in. For example, if you really want your kid to become a doctor and he/she really wants to be an artist instead and you discourage their love for art in order to get what you want. As long as you let them pursue their interests while at the same time encouraging them to do well in school, etc., I think you are fine.

you are pushing too hard let you child grow their way not your way

It's true that alot of parents want their children to become what they never could.

Your friend should butt out. If you are teaching them at home and they are having fun and enjoying it, then you are broadening your kids horizons, you are living vicariously. My son loved Zoo books, he learned more at home then at school. When we went to the Hot air balloon festival, we went home and learned about it. We went to the ship museum - we went home and read about ship building. We went to the Smithsonian - we read about the Hope diamond and the space program. One time he went for a free scuba diving lesson, we learned about the appartus, the great Corral reef and the fish that live in the deep. My son did awful in school, but he has a lot of knowledge that he gained through our research not through what he learned in school. He can talk to anyone about anything (and he does) because of the learning that he did outside of school.

itsthe right thing a mother should be towards their children...your a great mom...

I'm a single mom with 3 kids. My 18 yr old dropped out of school and got her GED, but is doing college courses online so maybe all that pounding education into her head did do some good. Your friend just needs to butt out. LOL I drive my kids to succeed no matter what they do. That doesn't mean they have to be perfect, just that they have to give it their best. As long as they are doing that and they are happy that's all I care about. My children are happy and content. My 8 yr old does bring home straight A's right now, and if she needs help with something I'm right there to help her. When my son starts school I'll be there for him too. I want them to be the best they can be, that will make me happy.

This is a tough one for me too! I guess it all depends on the age of your kids and how much extra time/work they put in in addition to school. I wouldn't force them to do more than an hour or 45 minutes of extra work. I really think that play time is just as important as intellectual time. Good luck!!

I'm sure you jsut want the best for your kids. Be careful though. Sometimes, what we think is best for them is actually what we think are best for us. I am not a parent but I have seen other people treat their kids like mini versions of themselves. All I am saying is that just look deep inside yourself and be honest about what you are trying to do. None of us can accurately say what you are feeling and thinking in your heart of hearts. Only you can.

I agree with you 100%. There should be more parents who think like you do. My parents were this same way with me, especially my Mother. She was actively involved in our schooling, homework, teaching us things at home, taking us to museums and other outings, taking us to the library... I can't even think of all the ways that she helped to teach us to love learning, education, and reading, and to value hard work and the accomplishments that we made. Children need to be guided when they are young. When they are old enough to make decisions about careers and college majors I would say that would be the time to offer guidance and support but to let them make their own decisions. By that time you have done all that you can. But I'm sure that you know this already. I say to keep up the good work. Your kids have an advantage with this type of parenting, so don't let anyone make you doubt it.

i think it is an excellent idea . you are doing this because you want them to have as much knowledge as they can to succeed in life. what is wrong with that. only if the child is not keen to do extra work then it may be a problem . the best time to do this is when they are young as i did with mine . once they are teenagers its a different world but they will still remember the way you helped them and cared for them even if they wont be willing to do extra work with you. go for it.

I would agree with the other posters so far - as long as you aren't pushing them (and it doesn't sounds like you are) then teaching them is not a bad thing - it's a great thing! Being involved in their lives is also a great thing! I woudl also say it's not true that kids will do whatever they want anyway ... my mom had me in ballet and the teacher said I was really good ... but I decided not to go for no realy reason and my mom never pushed. I wish she had - because there was no real reason for me not to go, and I could be an accomplished dancer by now. With my kids, I push a bit, but if I get really strong refusal to do extra-curricual stuff, I back off.

a happy and hard life.

ya thats good idea becuse kids is our fetures... im teaching for kids kids what is good and bad. my friends said I shouldnt push what i want onto my kids and they should do what they want to , and if they are going to be good enough to do that they should do what they want to ,and if they are going to be good enough to do that they will anyway whatever i do for them and that i was tring to live my life throught them because i didnt have a life of my own.