February 2, 2007 4:45pm CST
My girlfriend is pregant- it was a accident- and yesterday she told me she is going to have an abortion. I really don't want her to- and I guess it's her body and not my decision- but... I would love to be a father to that kid and feel sick when I think that she is going to kill it. What can I do??
• United States
2 Feb 07
How old are you? How old is she? I know these may seem like harsh questions to ask, but the truth of the matter is that children are WAY more work and responsibility than most adults, with jobs bringing in money, can handle alone. If she were to have the baby and give it to you, could you afford to raise it, to give it shelter, to feed it and care for it, to sacrifice every bit of you life for it? Because that is exactly what you would do. I am married, a father of two wonderful children, and don't get me wrong - they are the most precious things to me. But when my oldest was born, the old me, the me that lived before he was brought into the world, ceased to exist. I no longer had time, money, or energy to do the things I had done before. Gone were the late night hanging out times with my friends - they were replaced by late night feedings and changing poopy diapers. Gone were the video games and game systems I used to buy as soon as they came out - they were replaced by formula, baby clothes, and health care bills. Gone were the frisky nights with the wife - we were both too exhausted to be in the mood for anything but sleep. Children are a HUGE responsibility, emotionally, physically, and financially, and though I don't think anyone could ever be ready for one, it goes even more so for those who are still young. I am against the thought of abortion myself, and would urge you to urge her to bear through the pregnancy and consider adoption. However, in the long run, it will be her decision.
• United States
2 Feb 07
Hmmm - first thing you both need to do is start using protection - hate to point out the obvious but I couldn't help myself. Can you two afford a baby right now? How old are you guys and how long have you been a couple? Sorry to pry but these are all important questions. Your entire life is going to change if you decide to have this baby and you need to think about everyone who will be affected by this - not just you and your girlfriend. In the long run she does have the final say as to whether she is ready to carry the baby or not. Try to be supportive while at the same time telling her exactly how you feel. At least then you know you've spoken your mind and she knows how you feel. I hope this helps...