Do you like being compared to other people?

@hopeful28 (1439)
Singapore
February 7, 2007 3:04am CST
One of the things that I resented when I was young and even now is when I am being compared with my siblings, relatives or friends. I am always not as clever, as hardworking, as good looking, as smart or hardworking than this or that person. No wonder I ended up with such a big burden of self-inferiority complex. I will never wish this on my worst enemy because it's like a curse which has followed me around for years. Takes alot to get out of it. Have you had similar experiences? Do tell..
33 people like this
137 responses
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
I like the others successful man said "Be your self". If you are being compared with someone, you might be better or worse. Anyway, be yourself is the best if wanted to be success. You might try to follow the other people step, but you must do it with your own way. Get it?? For example, every people has their talents, and not everyone can do a particular thing better that you do, because you have a specific talent.
6 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
Yup, I got your point - accept myself as I am and don't bother about what other people think or me or say about me in comparison to others. Thank you for your reminder.
3 people like this
@stephg (48)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I don't like to be compared to other people, even if they were my siblings. It irritates me. Sometimes I would be compared to my younger sister and I would politely tell them not to do that because we are two different persons.
4 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
Good for you. Hope they listened and stopped comparing. You sound like a very matter of fact person. All the best and by the way, welcome to myLot - hope you will settle down here soon.
2 people like this
@rainbow (6762)
7 Feb 07
It really hurts doesn't it! I have spent most of my life feeling like that but now I have decidied I'm me and if people would rather talk to the prettier, more talented, taller person they they can go talk to them instead of me. I am a person and there are a lot worse people in this world than me, if I have to listen to how I am not good enough I just tell epople to go talk to someone who is then. It comes as such a shock that they apologise and are mre careful about putting me down to my face in the future.
4 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
Hi Rainbow, hope you are on top of the world today! Sure it hurts when people compare me with so and so. I am glad you have gotten beyond that and dealing with it so positively and firmly. It does people good to be told so that they realise it. Hope they will be more sensitive after this.
3 people like this
@cassidy22 (2975)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Of course I don't like being compared to other people. I am NOT anyone else, I am myself. I didn't get treated much like that as a kid, but I had 2 brothers and one was always being compared with the other. What happened to me wasn't that I was compared to them, or to cousins or anyone else, but my parents had some idea of what they wanted me to be, and THAT's what I had to stand up to. I didn't turn out the way they wanted me to, and they held that up in front of me, instead of trying to learn who I really was...
4 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
Right, I had to struggle with this problem too - of living up to my mom's expectations and never succeeding. But now I have carved out a life of my own and I answer to myself and God.
3 people like this
• India
7 Feb 07
Definitely not. I dont want me to be compared with others. All people are not he same. Each one has his/her own attributes. Comparing one with the other makes him/her lose his/her identity.
4 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
I think the word is 'unique'. We are all different and have our own strengths, weaknesses, talents etc...so we shouldn't take it hardly when we are being compared if we understand this. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Feb 07
I came from a large family and my parents were careful never to compare us kids. I'm grateful for that. I do know that my friend's mom always compares her to me, which drives my friend crazy!
4 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
I am not surprised it drives your friend crazy but I hope she has come to terms with it and accepted herself as she is, then she would be so much happier. Thank you for your views.
3 people like this
@kgwat70 (13392)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I do not like being compared to other people as I like just being myself. I would rather be known for me and not someone else or for doing things like someone else. I think being compared to another person can put a lot of burden or stress on a person, sometimes it may be good but many times it can be bad as well. I have been compared to other people before and it made me very uncomfortable. Fortunately this does not happen anymore.
4 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
I am glad that you have come to terms with yourself and accepting yourself as you are. It frees you from a lot of stress doesn't it? Good luck to you.
3 people like this
@ezzrssi (11192)
• Italy
7 Feb 07
nope i don't like be compare do other people
3 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
I don't think anybody does, or at least most people would resent being compared with someone else. Thank you for your feedback.
3 people like this
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
Each one of us didn't like to be compared to others, but if you're a positive thinker. i think it will not bother's you. coz for me i always look for the brightside, and not letting me down.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
i dont want to be compared to others. each people has its own qualities. good and bad..and GOD created us in different ways...
3 people like this
@kerobin (35)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
i dont think its proper to compared one another no matter what it takes, coz we are born created equal.....
3 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
Right, I don't think I remember being asked what qualities I would like to have instilled in me before I was born. I just have to accept what was given and learn to live with it gladly. Welcome to myLot and I hope you will be here for a long time.
2 people like this
@Netsbridge (3241)
• United States
7 Feb 07
NO! However, people are always going to compare you to others, whether you like it or not. Sometimes, however, people are simply making an effort to either encourage you towards your potentials or get on your very last nerve! (Laughs)
2 people like this
@smilyn (2963)
• United States
7 Feb 07
More than encourgement, I feel that comparison just brings an inferiority complex within you. This will suppress your personal growth and skills.
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
8 Feb 07
I believe that it also depends on the personality of the person who is being compared with others. He/she may not be the type who will take these kind of thing to heart. So it may not encourage nor cause him to suffer a self-inferiority complex.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
They said that its either the eldest or the youngest gets the more attention from parents and that is also how I feel, I am the 2nd child of 3 and I feel that my younger sister is the favorite of my mom and so I have jealous feeling towards her. she is even more goodlooking than i am, she can sing verywell, so what I did i focused myself in study and as much as possible i dont engage in a discussion wherein she is there because i feel insecure when everybody favors her. But as I grew older I understand things, because i focused on my study I was able to finish college and she did not because of friends. My mother became proud of me and then I found out that my sister is also jealous of me that is why she rebels in her study. The lesson here is that we are all not the same and should not be compared to each other. We have different personalities and it is our choice if we want to excel in what we do to become known or popular.
2 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
10 Feb 07
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I appreciate that because I too am a middle child with and elder brother who is close to a genius, and a sister who is also good in studies and always staying slim. I struggled through with all the favouritism and criticisms and now standing better on my own two feet and retaliate when I have to. You got it right when you said that we have different personalities and gifts - mine is different from them that's all and it happens to be outside my parents' expectations.
@mikaghi (388)
• United States
7 Feb 07
as a child i was always compared with other kids. my mom's friend's kid, cousins and sometimes even to my own brother. i hate it with passion. it is very demeaning and hurtful. no one should ever do that, especially to a child.
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
8 Feb 07
I wish all parents will realise that their words carry a ton of weight with their children especially when they are young and vulnerable. Once negative sees are sown it is so difficult to uproot it later on in life. But the sad thing is some parents think that comparison will actually motivate their children to perform better but sad to say, most of the time it has opposite results.
@abhiquest (580)
• India
8 Feb 07
I think the best comparison is the comparison to self. I like that, but comparison to others is something I would hate.
2 people like this
@mshajeer (94)
• India
8 Feb 07
no noat all, it isa very bad habit being compared to other people, i have got my own skills and abilities and what my others have may be different from others.my mom used to tell me frequently look at him,look at her, he is so smart why u cant be like hers or him. iam sure that ihave got my own abilities and can come out with flying colours in my field.
@g_aileen09 (1354)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
No matter what we do, we can never please everybody. Others will always have something unpleasant to say about us. It's human nature. I have had my numerous experiences of this sort... but then I have learend to live with it. What I can suggest would be: even if others compare us with somebody else...it is best for us to not listen to what they say, unless you take it as a positive criticism. As long as you are not comparing yourself with anybody, you can still say you are at peace with yourself.
• Turkey
8 Feb 07
Of coourse I don't like to compare me to other person. I believe that each of us have different attitude and traits. But compare myself to other, I think I hate that! maybe if I will be the role model and compare myself to other as a good person, I think that's fine with me. haha!
@vanities (11409)
• Davao, Philippines
8 Feb 07
i cant remember a single situation that i was being compared by my mother to my relatives or to anybody on that aspect..but i do like to give my opinion on that thing...personally i dont like to be compared to anyone else..coz we are unique in every aspect of our personality, and thinking...and comparison does not make anything better , it may get worse...
7 Feb 07
I was always being compared with my cousins, they all have high power jobs, fancy houses, lovely kids, perfect lives. I could never measure up to those expectations, which has left me with a inferiority complex and low self esteem. Personally I feel it is wrong to make such comparisons, but I guess it's human nature to do so
2 people like this
• India
7 Feb 07
I had been compared witha lot of people in my life but, this has not made me loose my self respect. I just hear it from one year and take it out from another because what I had faced in my life no one had faced and it is too easy to compare two persons but difficult to walk in the other person's shoes. i would advise you to just ignore all such comparisons.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Feb 07
When comparing things whether it be people or anything else I dont think it is fair to either party. People are different and every person is unique and have their own personality so I dont like to be compared to peolpe and I wouldnt think people would like being compared to me either. Let everyone be their own person and not compare them to others.
2 people like this