My Kids are Mad at Me!

@minerc (1373)
United States
February 8, 2007 12:50am CST
We planned a family recipe night for this Friday, I told my kids last Friday to pick ther recipes and then make me a grocery list by Sunday. I reminded them Friday, they got on the computer and went threw the cook books and printed the recipes. I reminded them on Saturday that I needed the list Sunday when I go to the grocery store. Sunday comes we go to town and there is no list. They wanted me to grab there recipes make a special trip to town and shop from there recipes. I told them I wouldnt do this it was there responsibilities and if they really wanted to do it on Friday they would of made a list. Do you think this is wrong? Should I have done what they wanted me to do? How would you of handled this?
10 people like this
38 responses
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
8 Feb 07
I think you have done the right thing. You told them what had to be done and they needed to give you the list and they forgot. It was their responsibility and that is what they need to realise. It is not fair on you to have to make a special trip into town because they forgot. Mums have enough work to do anyway. They might be mad at you now, but they will get over it. I think you should be proud of yourself because you are doing the right thing and teaching them responsibility. You could have just gave in to them, but what would that teach them?
5 people like this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I appreciate your honesty, and It's glad to know that it's ok for them to be mad. I try my best to be a good parent. Thank you!
8 Feb 07
I think you did the right thing. Kids should be able to take some responsibility and if they hadn't got the list ready on time then it is their fault that you couldn't cook their meal.
5 people like this
• India
8 Feb 07
it is very sinple comparing to other problems happening in families.you are right.. there is no matter of carelessness or irresponsiblities.the same way me too do or handle such situations.
3 people like this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I am glad to see that I am not the only one who does this. Thank You!
@icequeen (2841)
• Canada
8 Feb 07
You are completely right. If they wanted the family meal night enough then they would have made you a list. Kids need to learn sometimes that they need to take responsibility for thier actions...or non-actions in this case...
3 people like this
• United States
8 Feb 07
I think you handled it the right way. You told them what was expected of them and reminded them twice. I would NOT make a special trip for their list. Maybe next time you offer a night for them to pick the recipe they will have the list to you when you ask for it.
3 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
8 Feb 07
it is not easy dealing with kids nowadays as they expect everything and want to be without responsibilty..they want all the privilages without giving back..it's not just your ones believe me.. you should not constantly give in..they have to learn to slowly take responsibility into their own hands..spoiling them rotten too much will only make them more demanding and turning you into a donkey..you should not feel guilty for their shortcoming..cos that is a tactic they put on us..to feel guilty for something they have nnot lived up too..hell no man..enough is enough..they want? they have to bloody well do their bit aswell o.k? sorry about the passionate post but i have had the same to deal with with mylot..not this mylot..my nieces and son lol..
@deebomb (15319)
• United States
8 Feb 07
You did the right thing. You are teaching them to plan ahead and if you back down they will not learn to plan ahead. You gave them fair warning and reminded them. You are teaching them some of the fact of life. Just remember that even though your kids are mad at you they still love you and will appreaciate the fact that you made them do with out their special foods they learned early to be responsible. They will get over being mad. They always do.
@sizzle3000 (3038)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I would not make a special trip. I don't think they learn any thing if you give in. The facts are simple you told them when you needed their list. They know when you go shopping. Maybe they don't want to cook Friday and don't know how to tell you. My daughter is sixteen and she likes to put everything off till the last minute. I told her at the beginning of the year things have to change. Now when there is a deadline there is no extention. She looses out on a lot of extra activities because she is still learning. I tried to tell her when she gets out on her own she will not be able to put things off because an employer doesn't want to here I just forgot. Hold you ground I know it is hard. As a parent we always want to give in and keep our kids happy. Maybe next week they will get you that list before you go shopping.
3 people like this
@DocterDew (902)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Why not? I mean spending time with them if they are at the age where they enjoy this should be fun. I mean really how many more chances will you have. In a few years they are going to outgrow hanging out with their mom. You should take advantage of them wanting to do this with you while you still can. You should have probably just postponed it until next weekend to teach them a lesson and not make you have to go to the store that day. I say go for it next weekend take advantage of their wanting your attention.
2 people like this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank You!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 07
You handled this situation the right way. Children need to learn responcibility and to take the responcibility of their actions. If you do everything for them, they won't know how to take care of themselves later in life. I would have handled the situation the same way. And when they got mad, I would remind them that you gave them every chance to get the lists together and too you. They have no one to blame, but themselves, and therefore should not be mad at you.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I think you did the right thing. There was consequnces for their actions and I think next time they will be more efficient at helping you get things from the list. Good job!!!
2 people like this
@kimttrix (108)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
no, and besides i think you should tell them the real meaning of your request, try them to fully understand everything you want them to do. so there will be no misunderstanding.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
9 Feb 07
It is showing them responsibility. When they grow up and move out they have to learn that they need to prepare for themself and no one is going to come up after them to take care of their responsibilities. You did as I think you should and I would do. They didn't do wht they were supposed to so why should they get what they want? Tat would spoil them and make them believe that everything will be taken care of for them.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Feb 07
You were very right in the way that you handled this situation with your kids. You gave them plenty of warnings and you were nicer than needed to be by reminding them that they should get this done. I think that you should get a bonus for handling this in the way that you did. Your children may not agree with me now but they will one day. Now when you to this again lets see if they learned their lessons and get that list to you when you ask for it. Don't feel bad for what you have done you are teaching them responsibility and you deserve a pat on the back.
@GardenGerty (115261)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I probably would have done the same as you did. It will help them become responsible eventually. It also will let them practice deferred gratification. The reality of life is that sometimes we have to wait for what we want. I bet you could start a good discussion explaining how you do your "family recipe night"
@minerc (1373)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Hadnt thought about that, appreciate the suggestion. Thank You!
• China
9 Feb 07
No, I don't think you are wrong. It is good that you asked your kids to do something within their ability. Kids should be teached something like, responsibility, independece..I will let me kids do what they can do according to their age.
@hellboi (663)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
Yes you are right. Somehow you are setting an example of how their being irresponsible leads to unwanted situations. Their frustrations would make them well remember to do their tasks next time. Kids often take responsibilities for granted and devote their time totally to other things for all they have in mind is that someone, especially mom, would do it for them. You are sending a very good message that if they want something, they should work for it. That way they learn early in life the value of being responsible and being committed to the deals you entered to.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 07
i would have done the same thing. after all, i'm not a taxi service, i'm not a special order chef. if they had done as you had told them, then you could have gotten what they needed while you were out. as they didn't, they lost out. it's that simple in my book.
1 person likes this
@Kate06 (123)
• United States
8 Feb 07
You handled it well. If your children are old enough to pick out their own reicipes and print them from the computer then they are old enough for the responsibilty of keeping up with a few pieces of paper. Maybe you should have them make a place for their recipes, grocery lists so that in the future once they print them out they can immediately be put somewhere and they won't be left behind. In any case I'm sure the next recipe night will turn out better!
@minerc (1373)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank You!
@jsae29 (1122)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
It is really hard to explain to kids the concept of responsibility. But you have to stand on your ground. Explain to them that the reaon why you cannot make the recipe is because they failed to give you the list on time. Maybe you can look for a story about responsibilty and how important it is to follow schedule. I'd like to recommend also a book by Cynthia Whitman, "The answer is No". It contains tips on how parents can set limit and firmer guidelines on their kids (ages 2-12).