has anyone ever had to deal with a situation like this?
By chiquita1977
@chiquita1977 (1706)
United States
February 10, 2007 10:06pm CST
me and my husband has had a situation with his mom for sometime now.my husband has tried talking to her several times and that did not help any so i wrote her a letter and now my husbands parents are not even speaking to us.the situation is his mom has been telling us how to raise our kids and what we should and should not do with them.she tells us how to run our lives and our kids.she wants to be in control.and it got to the point where we were depressed so we had to talk to her.we just wanted to get the point across that they are our kids and we will raise them our way not her way.she was making us feel like we were not good parents and did not know what was best for our kids which is deffinatly not the case.and its not like we were doing anything wrong she just felt that she should have a say in how my kids are raised.so we needed to get the point across to her that they are our kids and we will raise them our way and how she makes us feel when she does these things we were not mean or anything about it but now she is not even talking to us we really dont understand why.we dont want to fight with her but we felt that she needs to realise that they are our kids and she should let us raise our kids our way just like she raised her kids her way.we dont feel like we were wrong because they are our kids not hers she is just the grandmother.it was bad enough when she needs to do everything with us we cant spend quality time with our kids alone because she wants to be there 24-7.which drives us crazy.has anyone else ever had to deal with a situation like this with a controlling mother in law/mother?what did you do?
3 people like this
4 responses
@ScottTheGR81 (76)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Everyone is different, what worked in one case is not always right in the other case. Help is nice but when it impedes the good relationship that i imagine is there then it could create a problem.
1 person likes this
@vhansen (2029)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Yeah,my boys grandmother is just like that.It caused a bad rift between the families but we finally had to set our foot down and put bounderies.She got to keep them on the weekend and us the rest of the time.We didn't tell her what she could do with them and she couldn't us.It was was sticky going at first but after a few months it worked out.Stand your ground.They are your children and your responsiblity do what you believe is best by them.
@wmg2006 (5381)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I honestly think all young couples with children go through this. I was 30 when I had my first child and everyone who ever had given birth was trying to tell me how to raise my child. My Mother was really bothering me and she lived 3 hours away. I was so glad when she finally realized I was not a total idiot and had some idea what was best for my child. I think they mean well and just want to help, but they come across bossy. You have to let them know how things are affecting you and your family, even when it make you feel bad. Don't worry this to shall pass and she will begin to talk to you again. It is stressful and hurts, but just remember you and your husband are now your immediate family and your kids are your number 1 priority. Hang in there it gets easier as you get older.
@funkyshankar (284)
• India
19 Feb 07
hello I am sorry that u r having a bad patch..but dont worry let her speak and dont get worried over this..grannies are always grannies..they never understand us..all need to do is raise ur children in a good way..in a few years they 2 will realise that u can do things on your own..all the best
