Skinny People Have Feelings,too ! Did You Know That?
By catherIN
@catherIN (430)
United States
February 11, 2007 5:52pm CST
Most people with feelings understand that it's cruel to make fun of folks who are "overweight". Have you ever realized that it's hurtful to make fun of skinny people? I'm very serious!
I am NOT talking about an eating disorder!!
Let me start by giving a little background. I come from a family that have various degrees of being over weight. As a child and teenager, I was very skinny. After a few kids, I did start to put on weight. I fought the weight off. It wasn't easy. For several years, my weight was on target for my height. After I hit my early 30's [age], my weight started dropping. I mean I was losing a noticeable amount and I was NOT trying! My Dr swore that I must be on a diet. After assuring him that I wasn't, I went through all kinds of medical test. Nothing was medically wrong. The best that could be figured was that my metabolism changed and kicked in high gear. Basically, I was eating alot and often.Instead of gaining, I kept losing.
Now, growing up I was constantly nagged by everyone, including family about eating. I did eat. I ate good. I was just skinny. Today, I have a "Mommy's belly" , a little roll of the belly that you don't see when I'm dressed.People consider me skinny. I am not under weight, which is a battle for me. People hover around me saying I need to eat more. Guess what! You know the mean things that people say about so-called "fat" people just eat to much? I could out eat that person they make fun of and would end up losing weight , that I can't afford to lose!
Coming from a family, that I love, that has weight problems, I have always been upset by the fat jokes. Weird thing is, a lot of the very people that I try to defend are also making cracks about skinny people.
So I'm here to say a few things. Yes, you may think of me as skinny. That's who I am. I am not a beanpole or a broomstick. Yes, I do eat. Infact, I could eat more than some who are over weight. I do not have an eating disorder.
And to those of you who are dealing with trying to lose weight.... I DO understand and know what's like. Please don't belittle me saying things like - if only I had your problem. My problem is just as hard as a person's who is trying to lose weight. It can cause many health problems,also. I care about your feelings and recognize your struggle, can you please do the same for me?
11 people like this
31 responses
@urbangirl (1456)
• Australia
11 Feb 07
Of course EVERYONE has feelings and deserves to be treated with respect. I've experienced both sides of this. I have been both fat and very skinny and believe me the kind of negative attention and rudeness you experience as a big person is far worse than a skinny person. I have never experienced being obese but that would be the worst, that's for sure. People need understanding and help, not rude behaviour and hostility!
@catherIN (430)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Yes, everyone has feelings. I wish that everyone would realize that.
I was considered over weight after my first few children. I know that side. Plus, as I said all of my family are on the opposite end of the weight spectrum as I am dealing with. It tears me up the things I have heard being said to people's faces and behind their back.
Yet, some don't understand that when someone battles to keep their weight at a healthy number, the skinny jokes hurt also. Also, it's painful when you have people following you around making sure you are eating. Worse, when they follow you around after you eat, because they are sure that you must be making yourself throw up.
I do not want to be over weight. I do not want, nor am I trying, to be skinny. Both ends of the spectrum has it's health issues. I just want to be healthy!
4 people like this
@urbangirl (1456)
• Australia
12 Feb 07
Thanks for the feedback - yes, being healthy is the most important thing!
Telling others what to eat, when, and how much is rude unless they ask specifically for advice.
and making rude comments about someone's weight just shows a lack of class.
4 people like this
@nishanity (1650)
• India
11 Feb 07
oh thats sad dear... but in a way i cant help but be envious of you.... even if i dont eat, i tend to put on weight and u got the gift not putting on weight no matter what you eat!!!
well i guess u just have to ignore the stuff people around you, tell about skinny people... they are just jealous and they dont mean to be spiteful..... u just ignore them!!!
and u just enjoy your life!
3 people like this
@catherIN (430)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Thank you for your kind words.
You see, my problem isn't just that I don't put on weight. I actually can end up losing weight , that I shouldn't, if I'm not very careful. Making a balance of not being hungry, eating enough to stay healthy, yet not losing weight is very hard.
2 people like this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I can't stand people who make fun of anyone's appearance or anyone who is mentally challenged. It is so cruel and can cause so much pain to the recipient. Still it's true when they say "what goes around comes around" one day they'll get theirs.
3 people like this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
12 Feb 07
I used to be a *normal* size until an accident many years ago now. I seriously injured my back and was unable to enjoy many of the sports and activities that used to keep me in shape. As a result of this, I am now a larger lady and can see both sides of this problem. I simply cannot understand why it is that people feel the need to denegrate anyone because of their shape or size. The abusive and hurtful comments and remarks do little to help and the perception of others can only make matters worse.
There will never be a solution this is I'm afraid, only the plea for understanding
3 people like this
@rx4life (1930)
• United States
12 Feb 07
It is so cruel for people to judge other people for their size, shape, color, likes, dislikes...we are all human beings with feelings..and things are not always as they seem..for instance..a thin person is deemed "anorexic" and maybe that person is fighting everyday to gain weight or maintain weight...then the overweight person is thought to be constantly eating when in fact they may eat less than the thin person.. We need to be aware of the fact that we are all not alike and just because someone is different from us ( hooray for that)..it doesn't mean they are flawed!!! If the truth be known...some of the people that give the most judgements of others are usually battling their own demons and in order to somehow make themselves feel better they have to degrade someone else!!! Sad but true in lots of cases...
Just a note..I'm sure your doctor checked it out..but thyroid disorders are lots of times the underlying cause of weight swings both ways...on paper and in a normal thyroid test it can appear normal ...but have them do some specialty tests and it's amazing what they find ( this happened to me...10 years of thinking it was normal..only to find out it was way off for my body!!!)..Try not to be discouraged by the mindless things people blurt out..in truth they are usually mirroring their own issues..You sound like you have life well in hand...don't let anyone bring you down..Remember that those that will try to judge you verbally usually don't engage their brain before they speak!!! Be well...
@rndistgg (109)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I understand. I'm 5'5 and 109 lbs and it's just plain hard for me to gain weight. I've been trying to gain weight since I was 10 and it's really hard for me. I have a 7 month old baby and gained 35 lbs with her which is normal and I was excited because I thought I would be destined to keep at least some of the weight. I was at my pre pregnancy weight after only 3 months when with most people it takes 9 months to a year. I just cant seem to keep the weight on.
People think because you're skinny it's ok to make comments about it. I was at work once and this old man walked up to me and said "You're skinny. You look unhealthy". Does he walk around to fat people and call them unhealthy? Plus a lot of people just plain don't think before they talk.
3 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I know a thin girl that has problems putting on weight too. She once told me, she would never dream about going up to a fat person and telling them they are fat. She said it is the same for her, just the opposite. She said it hurts her feelings when people make comments about her weight. Good post, I hope people take the time and read what you have said, we all could learn something here.
2 people like this
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
12 Feb 07
Yeah I get that too. I am rather thin as well. I am proportional but for some reason people tend to think I am too thin. I have heard remarks made to me or about me on my appearance and it bugs me. I don't make fun of people for their size no matter what size that is, but honestly I notice that the remarks are generally made by those that are larger than they would like to be. So to me it is really rude because they certainly don't appreciate the comments on their weight, yet they turn around and do the same to me even though they know how it feels. It is sad and irritating.
2 people like this
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I was always very skinny in school and got teased a lot because of it. It used to bother me until I got old enough to realize that those girls poking fun at me would have given their left leg to be as thin as I was! I am still only a few pounds over my high school weight, and I see women I went to school with who keep getting bigger and bigger! Last laugh is MINE!! It is rude to make remarks about a person's appearance, whether it is weight or whatever, but we can't let other peoples' opinions damage our self-esteem. God made us all in His image, and we are all beautiful to Him.
2 people like this
@bhawnam (1436)
• India
12 Feb 07
look if you ask me then such people who make jokes on others are not worth listening... being fat or skinny is no issue.. if you are bodily fit and can do your work properly then there is no issue.. point is if your being fat or skinny is affecting your efficiency.. God has made us all different.. and what makes a person good or bad is his behaviour not his looks.. and people who consider looks over nature are fools.. and fools are not to be listened..!!
So you stay happy and dont bother about what people say.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
12 Feb 07
Thanks a lot for posting this. Another person has posted similar but this time for fat people. Those who make fun of others' appearance are not happy with themselves, either maybe their look or something else in their lives. A friend of mine was skinny like me then she had a crush with a boy who likes curvy woman. She gained weight after months of eating junk foods, then finally got the boy's attention but guess what he left her pregnant. Since then everytime she sees me she will say how skinny I am and how unfortunate that my husband marries me. I told her how unfortunate she is that a man wants her only for her curves and not who she really is.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
12 Feb 07
oh. what a story. is she really your friend? how come she can say that to you? that's too personal. and is she just kidding you or is that a part of your joking session? i don't think so. but i hope your friend will stop saying such comments about you. it's not just right.
@Polly72 (46)
•
12 Feb 07
I have something of the same problem, I was never over weight but after splitting with my partner 18mths ago I just can't seem to put any weight on. I lost 2 stone in a few months. My family and friends think that I just don't eat which is not true. My parents are always asking me up for dinner just so that they can see I'm eating and friends from work are always passing comment about my weight which I laugh off but sometimes can hurt. So I see where you are coming from. The only thing I can think of is that now I am on my own with 2 young boys I don't really get the time to lounge around and constantly on the go.
2 people like this
@mom2adopted (56)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I totally understand how you feel. The first half of my life I went through the same thing. At 5'2" I never got my weight over 90 pounds. I am big boned for being so short. I wore a size 0-4 until I turned 30. At 30, I went up to a size 8 and felt "normal" for the first time in my life. I moved to Ft Lauderdale from Chicago and had some very hard times. I also went from being a very social person to someone who was alone most of the time.
When I was so small, I paid very close attention to what I wore. Try to wear clothes are are fitted, but not tight. Invest in some very good basics, black pants, light color tops and many jackets. If your clothes fit good, that will take some of the attention off your size. I had a friend who is also very skinny. She wears short skirts, tight tops, you get the idea. One time she dressed in looser clothes and she looked beautiful.
Good luck to you. I am sure you will get through this. Just be who you are and ignore what others think or say!!
2 people like this
@TonyaBarton (89)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Impressing to see this so rarely discussed topic available for discussion. I too, am a thin person and I should add that I am not in any way thrilled by my weight. I am not anorexic nor, I am afflicted with any other eating disorder.
I eat as any normal person would.
I am 5 feet 5 inches tall and weigh 105 lbs. I can't tell you if that is proportional to what it should be but, I can tell you that insults fly. "ewww, you need to put some meat on those bones", "skinny minny", "what are you bilemic or something?"...Most of these insults come from the very people who would be called quite the opposite and would be insulted by the name calling.
Yes, skinny people have feelings too! I have tried my entire life to gain weight with little success. I don't always feel as though my figure is flattering because I am thin (I'd be much happier if could gain another 15 pounds).
The point of the topic being, it's really a two way street.
I don't call you fat...so don't call me anorexic!
2 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
12 Feb 07
I have been on and off diets all my adult life . I am 64 now and still think about everything that goes into my mouth , Why do society make us think we have to be this or we have to be that , why cant they just leave us alone and then it might not be an issue , I am fat not gross but fat but It is hard and although you are the opposite as they would say , I do know exactly where you are coming from , xx
1 person likes this
@claudia413 (4280)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I can really relate to all you've said. Until I was in my mid-30s, I was very skinny. I was called all kinds of names while growing up and always felt bad about how I looked. After having 2 kids, I was still thin. Of course, running after 2 kids after working all day can really burn up the calories. I always "ate like a horse", but never gained an ounce. My cousin always complained about gaining weight if she even looked at food. I never understood that until I was in my 30s and my metabolism completely changed. No matter how little I ate, I gained weight. I did finally realize that my life style had completely changed also. I had remarried at 36 and began to lead a much more sedentary lifestyle. My kids were teenagers, and I didn't have to follow them around all the time any more. Your metabolism may be very fast and that's why you don't gain weight.
My husband started losing weight and it turned out that he had an "overactive" thyroid. He went from 225 lbs down to 130 lbs, and looked like a walking skeleton. After treatment, he started to gain weight again, but he'll never weigh much more than what he does now (175-180 lbs). He's thin for a man of 6'2", but his health is good.
I always hated comments about being skinny, and I finally did learn to just ignore people who were that ignorant and mean, including one of my grandmothers. There are many of us out here who have "been there...done that", and we do understand what you're going through.
1 person likes this
@jahvo6 (623)
• Peru
12 Feb 07
Of course skinny people must be respected , fo r example me, I tried and keep trying to gain more weight or muscles but since I am a hard gainer it´s so hard, I would çdo anything to put more weight I am not a skinny person but I am not happy with my weight I totally understand you.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Mar 07
Sounds like this is a pretty serious issue for you. You are very right though in all the points that you make. Some people just are skinny and there is nothing they can do about it. I myself and not terribly skinny but I am pretty skinny for having 3 kids. My mother in-law and other people have told me also that something was wrong with me or I was not eating right and if there was anything I was hiding. I'm not, just not gaining all the weight like some people do. So I can totally understand some of your feelings. Yes, it can be a serious health issue like you said, and some people just shouldn't be so mean but alot of times, some people are just mean, and don't understand. So hang in there, I'm sure there are alot of people in your shoes that feel the same. You can't always worry though what others say, although, I know it can be hard, but as long as you're okay, and comfortable with yourself, that's all that matters:)
@sandphinx (131)
•
12 Feb 07
People who wear glasses get called 4 eyes and tall people get called lanky, along with the fat the skinny the spotty and people with big noses etc. In fact some people just never learned to handle diversity and have to resort to name calling to cover up their own failings. Sad really aren't they!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@InnocentHavok (26)
• United States
12 Feb 07
I am nagged alot about eating but I do. You can not tell because I am so small but I actually eat alot! It is very hard for me to gain weight too. I recognize your trouble hun, and kudos for pointing out to people that skinny people don't like to hear about their weight either.
